I just turned 30 a couple of months ago, and for the most part, life has been pretty much the same as it was at 29. But that may be because at 29, I was already a 35-year-old woman in my heart of hearts.
It has become a meme for people to make lists of things every woman should have by the age of 30 or 35. Recently, writer Anne Thériault flipped that meme on its head and provided a truly hilarious yet super real and relatable list of things every 35-year-old woman should be doing. Just reading this list will exhaust you and make you realize just how tough it is to be a woman in the world. Especially a woman over the age of 30. Women over 35 tend to be burdened with responsibilities that transcend their own needs. Other people rely on them, whether they're partners or kids or less-mature friends. Women in their 30s deserve a break.
Being 35 is hard.I just turned 30, and I can already see how things are going to get more complicated in the next few years.
Here's what every woman should be doing by age 35, according to writer Anne Thériault:
By the age of 35, every woman should: - be walking around the house saying, “Why is every single light on? Do I lo… https://t.co/XGqlm9BaER— Anne Thériault (@Anne Thériault)1554518491.0
Other women quickly hopped on the bandwagon and started adding to the list:
@anne_theriault - enters a room and must find a way to get the air circulating in there— Molly Priddy (@Molly Priddy)1554518529.0
Wine and whine
@anne_theriault -go to CVS & decide to go aisle by aisle with the resolution: “if I don’t spend over $100 on beauty… https://t.co/urUbMdBRgE— Maria Heinegg (@Maria Heinegg)1554602484.0
@anne_theriault -think back like a love lost to all the sunscreen I should have been wearing in my teens and twenti… https://t.co/6BTmnRK9Yj— Maria Heinegg (@Maria Heinegg)1554602927.0
Workout clothes and fat dogs
@anne_theriault -don’t even bother packing workout clothes for vacation -comfortably accepts that no man will ever… https://t.co/oCX7ISWPLZ— Maria Heinegg (@Maria Heinegg)1554603298.0
InvitedYes! I cannot stress this one enough. I would like to be invited to your events. I will never go, but I do want to be invited.
@Lisa1Lisa2Lisa @anne_theriault I'd like to add "aggressively wiping counters"— 💙KA💙 (@💙KA💙)1554603981.0
@anne_theriault Can I see a show of hands for ‘if I went on strike you would all be feral within a week’— AKADave (dont eat piggies moo cows or lamb floofs) (@AKADave (dont eat piggies moo cows or lamb floofs))1554630812.0
Forgetting what you needThis happens all the time, except once I'm sitting down and remember what I was going to get, I don't want to get back up and get it. These just keep getting realer and realer.
Chin hairsThis may be TMI, but girl, I am way ahead of the game on this one! I've been pulling chin hairs out since my teens!
@anne_theriault -Have had a day where 90% of what she said was just the word "Why?" in different inflections.— Jessica Conwell, Haunted "Author."🎃👻 🏳️⚧️ (@Jessica Conwell, Haunted "Author."🎃👻 🏳️⚧️)1554518986.0
"Okay..."It's amazing how much mental energy I expend just ticking off small, menial tasks every day. It's a wonder I get anything else done.
Cursing under your breath
@anne_theriault Curse under her breath about neighbors who use leaf blowers and power tools after 7pm— Nell (@Nell)1554603093.0
"Go to bed!"
@anne_theriault Adding: -yell *go to bed!* at least 30 times before being allowed to sleep herself.— Courtney Hartman (@Courtney Hartman)1554609710.0
"Not today, Satan!"
@anne_theriault I literally say "not today Satan." And "I.... cannot...." Like 53 times a day, what... is... happening?— Sarah (@Sarah)1554603207.0
Reparatory of looks
@anne_theriault I would like to add having a whole reparatory of looks designed to keep children in check.— Glenna Strable (@Glenna Strable)1554610903.0
"What the actual hell?"
@anne_theriault In addition I mutter “what the actual hell?” 300 times a day under my breath and feel this another… https://t.co/PYZwhv0tvU— Sarah Cooke (@Sarah Cooke)1554528182.0
@anne_theriault If, by the age of 35, you are not having animated one sided conversations with yourself, better che… https://t.co/XzoGOlE6nW— Rebecca Stokes (@Rebecca Stokes)1554523681.0
@anne_theriault I just lit candles and cleaned because I can't stand the smell of the dinner I cooked.— meliedubbles 🌙 (@meliedubbles 🌙)1554602550.0
Work hoodieForget a work hoodie! I used to have a work blanket — straight up a cozy throw blanket I would drape over myself. It was the best.
Tightening every bottle top
@anne_theriault And tightening up every lid, screw cap, bottle top from the pantry to the bathroom. Because *someon… https://t.co/zwsauqjxcC— The Hammond Agency (@The Hammond Agency)1554646342.0
This turn of phrase
@anne_theriault @ColinVerteuil I’d like to submit: ‘for fuck’s sake!’ to this list.— FemBoss (@FemBoss)1554556533.0
"Put a sweater on!"
@anne_theriault I've literally become my dad, "You're cold? You're COLD!? You're wearing a t-shirt, fer chrissakes!… https://t.co/FaZ41ks77Q— Lindsay Bell (@Lindsay Bell)1554547095.0
Cup corrallerWhy do people (*ahem* men, and children) leave cups everywhere? It's an epidemic, and it must end. Oh man, there's still more!
@anne_theriault Makes doctors and dentist appointments for everyone, but hasn’t had a physical herself in like 3 years— ThexyBeatht (@ThexyBeatht)1554614776.0
Asking yourself questions
@anne_theriault Mastering asking myself questions... Why am I the only person in this house who can turn off a ligh… https://t.co/ToKVnsS72A— rollingmyeyes (@rollingmyeyes)1554602053.0
On to 45If you're already over the hump of 35, at least you have these to look forward to! (I already do most of these.)
@jylynn @anne_theriault Be able to deliver or disguise a ‘Hard eye-roll’ at will Think about wearing make up once a… https://t.co/3yAO8igH44— Tess Butler (@Tess Butler)1554662917.0
More to the list
@anne_theriault I’m 58. It doesn’t improve with age, you just add more to the list— Jan Baxter (@Jan Baxter)1554648868.0