Pieces of ACTUALLY Good Breakup Advice | 22 Words

There’s no getting around it: breakups suck. But thanks to the internet, you don’t have to go through it on your own. We’ve turned to the web’s best source of advice (Reddit, of course) to break down the best things you can do to get over a breakup.

After you’ve cried your eyes out and drowned your pain in Ben and Jerry’s, you’ve got no choice but to pick yourself up and move on with your life. If you’re having trouble with that last part, well, you’re not alone! We’ve all had our fair share of nasty breakups filled with too much junk food and sad love songs.

Read on for some seriously wise advice to help you become stronger and more confident than ever before after a heartbreak. And when the right person comes around, you’ll be ready for them!

The basics.

Move on. Stay busy. Stay off social media. Learn from it. joshuanotjosh Now’s the time to pick up a new hobby you’ve been meaning to try. Muting or deleting your ex on social media doesn’t hurt, either.

Don’t forget.

Remember why you're breaking up, remember why you broke up. UnsetTheMindset It’s easy to dwell on the good times, but remember that you broke up for a reason.

You don’t have to be friends.

Don't try and stay friends straight away. It hurts too much. If you're the dumper, be aware you have power in this situation that the dumpee does not and whatever they might say, that imbalance is going to hurt. And if you're the dumpee, the only real power you can take from the situation is distancing yourself and working on becoming better. And you will need to take that power, or you'll feel utterly worthless. One day in the future, maybe you'll get back in touch and rekindle a friendship. But in the beginning, learn to be without them, because whatever they say, you'll have to be without them. DukeInterior This is some A+ advice!

On closure.

My advice is, whether you’re the breaker or the broken, cut off contact and find your closure in yourself. Remind yourself that it’s likely you’ll never get that apology or explanation that you want, the relationship is over whether you wanted it or not. If you’re the breaker: remind yourself why you did it. If you’re the broken: remind yourself that just because someone doesn’t want you doesn’t always mean there’s anything wrong with you, you’re just not compatible and you can’t force that. Use those reminders to move forward with the knowledge of your past mistakes and lessons about what you will/won’t put up within a relationship. thejcm Remember that the things you learn from this, painful as they are, will shape your future relationships.

Recommended viewing.

Watch 500 Days of Summer. Wavesignal As a bonus, it has a great soundtrack.

Don’t be afraid to unfollow them on social media.

Unfollow or block on all social media. If you have mutual friends and those friends are posting things related to your SO (e.g. they're out every night at the club with them or whatever), unfollow them as well. It's an out of sight out of mind sort of deal. It's much easier to get over if you don't have reminders around. DrunkenOni Do what’s best for your mental health.

Give yourself time.

First and foremost, accept that it's over. Say it out loud to yourself, all things good/bad come to an end one day. I understand what you are going through. Break-ups can be hard, even when it's amicable. I have been through a few and learned many things over time. As few others have mentioned, there is no exact "getting over," it takes time. I know people will say that fill that void, work out or hang out with friends or pick up a hobby etc. but it's not so simple. You see when you break up with someone, it's not exactly the person you are missing but instead, it's the memories/activities that you made together. Anything that you did together will now hurt if you try doing it alone. It won't be easy at first but it will get bearable soon. screwedupmind Be patient with yourself.

Important reminders.

Think of all the things that were bad in the relationship. Things that you would have liked to be different. You can now find those things in your next partner! When you start to long for them, go over that list in your head. Put everything that reminds you of the relationship into a box and put it away. It might be too hard to throw them out, and maybe you'll want to keep them when you're healed, but you need to get them out of your daily view. Ask yourself how you can improve yourself for your next relationship. To be a better person and a more desirable partner. Work on those things, and realize you are a desirable partner. A boost to your self confidence helps the bad feelings go away. Know that this wasn't your last chance at love, no matter how much it felt like destiny. You will not be alone forever, you will find someone new, someone better. Time will pass and you will be comfortable dating again. Don't force yourself into dating. Take time to just be yourself. Take care of your own needs. It's ok to be a little selfish. When times are tough, keep yourself occupied. Talk to friends, watch Netflix, play a game, etc. Keep your mind off your ex during a loneliness "flare up." Do not stew in the loneliness. Know that it will pass. Possibly the hardest part; know when to walk away completely. It may help you to stay friends so that you won't feel as lonely while you get used to no longer being intimate. But if casual conversation or seeing their face sets off your bad mood, you need to seriously consider a full break from your ex. You can always try to be friends later, but for now you need to do what is best for you. Blu3Army73 Excellent advice!

Spring cleaning.

Delete all text messages and pictures, and get rid of anything that reminds of you of him/her. The less you're reminded of your old SO, the faster you'll move on. Vangelicon You’ll feel refreshed when you’re done.

One day it won’t hurt anymore.

When I had my first really bad break-up, a friend gave me the best advice: "It sucks, and it's ok that you feel like crap. It might suck for a while, but one day you'll wake up and it won't suck so much anymore. You'll be ok." It just totally validated my feelings and wasn't a cheesy "you'll get over it!" kall-e Remind yourself that you’ll be okay.

Cut it off.

Block their number. Not as an insult, not to be hateful. Because you don't need to talk to them, you don't need to frantically check your phone every time it makes a noise, and you sure as f*** don't need to drunk text or call them... So much peace of mind. di456 Let yourself let go.

Give it time.

Time is the only way to get over it. Ain’t no other way around it. In the meantime, hit the gym and became as active as you can be. Also, once a relationship fails, highly unlikely it’s going to work out again (from my experiences, and from viewing other failed relationships). underd0g- Get those endorphins flowing!

A good reminder.

The best advice I got was also the hardest to follow. Breaking up shouldn’t be about laying blame at the other person’s feet or taking it for your own. As much as they suck, breakups are actually a beneficial thing. They end relationships that shouldn’t continue. So, you acknowledge the pain of loss and adjusting to the new normal, do your best to not get stuck, and remember that you’re better without something that wasn’t working. screwedbygenes You’ll look back with a new perspective when you’re older and wiser.

Make new memories.

Stay busy, make new memories. Don’t hang out in the places where you used to go as a couple; explore new places. Take yourself out on coffee dates. Do the dumb sounding “self-care" stuff like taking baths with bath bombs; it works. Bone-of-Contention Say yes to bath bombs!

One day at a time.

Just get through today. That’s it. Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Do one thing that brings you joy. Just one. (Bath, light a candle, yoga, whatever.) notafraid71 Be kind to yourself.

Get out of the routine.

Best breakup advice I got was from my therapist, it was about how some people give it more time than needed. People don't change as much as we'd love that to happen, only if they see their own mistakes, and are acting upon it when they say 'yes, I want to work on it.' The things you feel now is probably just the chemistry, let your body get out of that routine of being next to your SO. It'll happen, be patient with yourself because you deserve a bit of relaxation. So don't stress so much over it, it won't change anything, it'll just hurt you. Keep yourself busy, it'll leave by itself. funkyskyrim There’s a theme here: give it time!

Stay busy.

Occupy your mind. Go out with friends, pick up a new hobby, volunteer somewhere. Literally, do anything you can to keep yourself from thinking about "the good times." When you sit and dwell, you'll only be saddened. But when you don't have the time to think about what has passed, you'll find yourself able to be stronger on your own. Dossicles It’s tempting to wallow in the pain, but try to resist.

Another perspective.

"ASAP" is the wrong way to do it. People here are suggesting distractions to keep you occupied. That's one valid strategy, but first and foremost you need to accept the fact that you have lost something and you will hurt for some time. However long is up to you, but don't rush it. Take your time and soon you'll be up on your feet with the self-respect and determination to really move on. Everyone needs time to mourn. Depending on who you are it could take weeks, months, even years. It took me a whole year last time and while I sometimes look back and think it was a waste, I realize now that it was necessary for my growth as an adult. SP12GG Everyone moves at their own pace.

Switch it up.

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone. ...Since I know this advice can't work for everyone, let me rephrase it to say that the best way to get over something is to get under something else. The best way to quit anything is to change everything. Associations are the hardest thing when quitting smoking, drinking, love, or anything else. New music. New genres of music. New apartment. New hangout. New ring-tone. New hair. New hobbies. New routines. New styles of food. The more thorough the reset, the better the chance of success. If you get bitterness or love on the new thing, change it quick! Eventually, those memories will lose your trail. rain-dog2 There is nothing wrong with getting a breakup haircut! Just check with your best friend to make sure you’re not making a huge mistake.

Don’t check in.

Avoid the temptation to "check up" on the person. Don't drive by this person's house, or start spending time in places where you're likely to run into him or her. While you're at it, "unfriend" the person on Facebook and other social media. The last thing you want is periodic reminders that so-and-so is out there, enjoying life. You'll read into every post, looking for coded messages, clues about new romantic activities, etc. (If you're worried about seeming vindictive, enlist a mutual friend to explain why you're doing this.) The other advice here is great: Use this as an opportunity to do new things, meet new people, get in shape, etc. Take a trip. Learn a musical instrument. Whatever. Remind yourself that things will get better, but understand that it will take time. (Trust me, it will—I just went through this in a big way last year.) If you really feel like you can't cope, or if your feelings are getting in the way of your work and family life, or if you find yourself turning to booze or drugs to get by, don't be afraid to get professional help. A good clinical psychologist or other qualified professional can help provide you with tools you can use to understand and manage your feelings. eddie964 Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Stay away from Drake.

Stay away from sad songs about relationships. NO DRAKE. TLagPro Stick with songs that make you happy!

Focus on loving others.

Spread your love around. Leave nice comments on your friends' photos telling them how great they look. Make small talk with the cashier at the supermarket, but really talk to them. Invite somebody over to hang out, or buy somebody a bunch of flowers. I know it sounds weird because you need to be treated gently right now and other people might not be on your mind, but the desire to love and to nurture others doesn't go away when a relationship ends, and allowing that to continue will do wonders for your self-esteem and your relationships with others. beargrowlz The world can always use a little more love.

It’s for the best.

Understand that it's okay to still be happy about the good times you had in the past, but also that sometimes it's best to move on. Plunkett120 You can still cherish the good times.

Let yourself feel.

Don't suppress emotions, especially the pain of it, because one day all of that will literally blow out of you sooner or later. Cry about it, deal with the emotions in a positive feedback way... And self-care obviously, but FEEEEL things and the emotions even when you feel like not feeling anything. Quastinephoenix Cry it all out!

It’s a lesson to be learned.

Be honest, be fair, be true to yourself. You'll make it through and you'll most like be smarter and better for it. Everything in life is a chance to learn and grow. SuperdudeAbides You’ll come out of it a better person.

Take advantage of your new free time.

Do everything you wanted to do that you couldn’t do while you were in the relationship, whether it was because of time, the other person, etc. Finding joy in things without the other person will give you new sense of empowerment in yourself! Nightlyritual Spend more time doing what you love.

Don’t rush into something new.

The best cure for a broken heart is NOT another relationship. Don't fall into a rut from settling. You will get Invested and then realize you're not always compatible and it results in just another wound. Minidippa Give yourself time to be alone.

A different take.

Keep doing the very same things you did together. Sounds backward but what it does is that you slowly learn to enjoy those things without them. It pushes away the emotional dependency that you developed on that person. You simply don't need them in order to do those things anymore. It's liberating. I refused, out of plain stubbornness, to shy away from those things and it did wonders for my self-esteem to eventually be able to do them alone without negative feelings. It was hard but I was determined and it got easier and easier. f0k4ppl3 You’re better off on your own!

Go outside.

Take a walk, no really, take an actual walk. It doesn't need to be anywhere far, just walk around your block or just wander around without any specific destination. Look at people all around you, and notice all the life around you, cars on the roads, people going places, constructions taking place etc. Try to spend as much time outdoors as you can, I don't know why, but spending time outside instead of staying cooped up indoors helps a lot. screwedupmind The fresh air will do you a world of good.

Always remember.

With all of the emotions that go with a breakup, just remember, this too shall pass. ThatBloodyHippy You’ll get through it, we promise. Got a friend who’s going through a breakup? Be sure to share this article with them on Facebook!