How do people interact with, you know, other people? It feels like, whoever I’m talking to, I say something stupid or make a bad joke or in some other way looking like a total jerk. For instance, one of my friends just asked me to help them move, I hit them in the face with a pie. But that’s not my fault, is it? I made it well known that I have no interest in helping them or anyone else move because I really don’t like it!
And yes, those same friends helped me move into my place, but the entire time I reminded them that I would not be helping them move. It’s not my fault if they thought I was doing a bit! Is it?
I don’t know. Maybe it is. That’s why Reddit’s Am I the Jerk subreddit is so useful. Redditors can go and describe their situation and have the internet at large decide if they’re in the wrong or not.
Me and my fiancee have been together for four years and engaged for six months. I also have a seven year-old lab mix who is the greatest dog in existence.
On Saturday, fiancee had a bachelorette party at home. I stayed with my parents but I left the dog with her because she likes having him there. However, I made sure to tell her to put the dog in our bedroom once the party gets going.
At 5 AM on Sunday I get a frantic call that something’s wrong with the dog. My fiance was drunk, so I told her to get a taxi and go to the emergency vet clinic. When I got there, she looked like she hadn’t stopped crying for hours and she couldn’t even speak. Two of her friends were there so they told me my dog is alive but not well. I felt sorry for her for an entire 10 minutes while waiting for the doctor.
But then, the doctor told me my dog ingested large amounts of alcohol and chocolate edibles. The girls apparently thought it would be cool to leave everything out on short coffee tables, leave the dog to wander around instead of putting him in our bedroom, and then get wasted and not notice he was going to town with the booze and edibles.
When we got home, I told my fiancee to pack and get out of my house and my life. I told her to tell her guests the wedding is off, and I’ll tell mine. She was shocked, but she took her things and left.
Two hours later, I get bombarded by messages on Messenger, Whatsapp, by her sisters, brother, brother’s wife, her mom, her friends, telling me that I am insane to do this to her after four years. They started off defending her, but it quickly turned into insulting me.
The logical thing for me to do was look for comfort in my friends and family. Nope. They all agree. My mom said: “Well, it was a mistake, she didn’t do it on purpose, besides – the dog didn’t die!” Lucky me, eh? My dog didn’t die!
My sister was appalled that I canceled the wedding “over that?!” and even my best man said I might have overreacted. Yes, our relationship has had ups and downs, but it’s mostly worked fine.
I am so disgusted at my fiancee that I can’t even imagine looking her in the eye, let alone spending my whole life with her. She isn’t 17, she is 27!
By the way, this is not the first dumb thing she has done. She likes to text while driving, she always leaves stuff on the electric stove (like kitchen towels, the cutting board etc.) even though she has turned on the wrong burner and burnt whatever was on it several times in the past, and similar DANGEROUS things. It’s not something I hold against her in the sense that I would ever mention in a fight, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried that she might end up killing herself or someone else. For example, my dog.
You say she is a careless person and you give a bunch of examples, then isn’t it your job to take care of your dog and not leave it in a dangerous situation with her knowing her carelessness?
I’ll be honest though, given how you mention other minor things she does/did, it seems to me you were already looking for any reason to bail on the wedding. You were getting cold feet and are using this as an excuse to get out of a years long relationship and marriage commitment.
Posting here kind of triggered me to conclude this isn’t about the dog at all. She is negligent and irresponsible and I don’t want to stick around and possibly see our child die in a car accident some day because she was texting or she forgot to put his seat belt on.
I’d rather be a jerk now than spend years of my life worrying every time our child is left alone with her. If she’d accidentally killed a person while texting and driving, I would also leave her. I guess I realized I don’t want to spend my life with someone who has such blatant disregard for human (or animal) life.
I talked to this girl from Hinge who looked pretty in her pictures and we hit it off almost immediately. She sent a few snapchats and I could tell she was slightly chubbier than her pictures but she didn’t look too far off. After a few days of talking, we met up for drinks at a restaurant. As soon as I saw her I immediately felt disappointed as she looked NOTHING like her pictures which I later found out were from three years ago.
I did my best to have fun at the date regardless of the fact that I wasn’t physically attracted to her whatsoever. The date went pretty well but the next day I sent her a text saying it wasn’t going to work out and that her pictures were misleading. I apologized and wished her good luck.
My friends think I’m a jerk for the “misleading” part since she likely already knows she’s much bigger than she was in her pictures. I felt sort of catfished and while I wouldn’t call her a jerk, I think what she’s doing is wrong.
I’ve known people who do this because they think once you meet them you’ll fall for their personalities and looks won’t matter. Truth is, no one likes being misled. She knew what she was doing. You did her a favor by telling her.
I graduated from college four years ago and live at home with my parents. My sister graduated two years ago and also lives with my parents. We both got jobs pretty much straight out of college. I pay my parents $800/month in rent since my first paycheck.
Last night my parents were talking loudly about their financial problems in the living room. I overheard and I offered to help by paying more in rent (I was thinking $900-1000) since it covers utilities/phone/internet. My parents were grateful.
Now, prior to this, I never asked my how much sister pays in rent. I always figured my parents charged us the same. So absentmindedly I asked a follow-up question.
Me: How much is [my sister] paying [for rent]?
My Mom: Nothing.
A long pause.
Me: What do you mean she doesn’t pay rent?
My Dad (visibly angry): Your sister doesn’t pay a f*cking thing!
My dad explained how my sister doesn’t pay rent. She doesn’t pay utilities/phone/anything. So for the past two years she’s been living rent-free while I’ve been paying my parents.
So later that night we had a family sit down talk. My sister didn’t want to pay rent. The conversation ended with this:
Sister: F-YOU. I’M TRYING TO LIVE MY LIFE.
Well, this story has at least one jerk.
So my sister storms off to her room and it’s now me, my parents in the living room. I’m extremely upset at this because it’s massively unfair. So I say my part:
Me: I’m not going to pay any more rent until she does. (It’s only fair right?) And if I do pay rent, I pay whatever she’s paying.
Pretty open-and-shut not a jerk, right? Well, not so fast.
So this morning my dad comes in tells me that I’M A JERK FOR NOT PAYING RENT. That I should pay rent because it’s the right thing to do and all this stuff. I’m like, “what the hell? Make [my sister] pay rent!”
My mom, who’s listening in.
“You’ve seen her! She won’t listen to us!”
Me: WELL THAT’S TOO BAD.
My mom (really angry): WELL WE WOULDN’T HAVE THIS PROBLEM IF YOU DIDN’T TRY TO MAKE YOUR SISTER PAY RENT.
That was the last straw that blew it for me. I slammed the door on my parents.
You want to be treated as an equal to your sister, there is nothing wrong with that.
By my math you’ve paid roughly 38,900 in rent. Four years out of college paying 800 a month in rent 48×800=38,900. Move the f*ck out. Even if you crash with a friend or rent a place you’ll likely be paying less rent.
My family and I (husband and children) are vegan. We have been for years. His sister and her family lost their home in a fire, and they’re staying with us while they rebuild. My husband and I don’t mind if they bring meat or animal products into our house, but we won’t cook them.
Therein lies the problem for Thanksgiving. We have foods such as mushroom gravy, meatless dressing, etc. I offered to let his wife use the oven or the roaster either if they want turkey, but I’m not willing to put meat in my stuffing or use beef gravy or make other foods non-vegan. They’re welcome to do so, but I won’t.
My husband backs me, but his sister says we’re not being good hosts. She says she can’t fix her family other options because I’ll “have the kitchen all tied up” and that “as hosts, it’s our job to make them feel welcome.”
– [account deleted]
The internet decrees: the vegans are not the jerks here.
Whenever I stay with my Vegan friends it’s always a pleasure to enjoy their cooking and I wouldn’t dream of expecting them to cook meat. In fact, you’ve already gone above and beyond to offer to let them use your kitchen to cook meat/non-vegan products.
You’re not the jerk, but she’s lost her home, which I would assume is a very traumatic event. Part of her being so upset over this might be more related to the fact that she doesn’t have her own home to celebrate Thanksgiving in.
My friends are dating, they’re also actors who have had small roles on a few TV shows (I’m talking two lines or less). I say this not to be a hater, I truly am rooting for them, but to give you a scope of their reach. Neither of them has a following in real life or on social media (they’ve got under 1500 followers combined).
Anyway, last week I posted a group picture on Instagram of people celebrating a friends birthday. Everyone in the photo has got their arms around each other’s shoulders. Very platonic.
Yesterday in a group chat between the three of us, they asked me to take the photo down because they don’t want “the public” to know they are dating. I would consider it if they looked bad/too sloppy drunk/etc. but they don’t. Also, everyone has their arms around each other, not just them.
I asked what they meant, and they said they didn’t want to end up in gossip rags…
I pointed out that they are not famous and that they don’t even have functioning IMDb pages. They were livid and called me a bunch of names.
I think they’re delusional but they’ve been texting me demanding it and even sent me screenshots of them reporting it (nothing has happened). At this point, I don’t even want to be their friend. However, and probably because I’m a jerk, I don’t want to delete it based solely on principle.
Since they asked you to take a picture of them off social media, you should have done that. That being said, they’re acting pretty ridiculous about their “fame”.
There are so many Marvel movies coming up in the next few years that it’s entirely possible — nay, likely — that these friends are just a few months away from being massive stars.
I mean, Tom Holland’s friends would’ve thought he was being petty if he asked them to take down a social media picture a few weeks before he was cast as Spider-Man.
I gave birth four weeks ago, and we decided to have a “baby ceremony”, where everyone gets to meet our lovely daughter Charlotte.
My cousin Alice and her parents were among the guests. The first thing I’ll say about her is that she has expensive taste. She’s the sort of person who has a minimum price range for how much she spends on clothing. She doesn’t own anything that isn’t a designer and has some items of clothing that cost thousands. She is a banker and still lives with parents so can afford the lifestyle.
It was Alice’s turn to hold the baby and she was happy to at first, but suddenly Charlotte vomited on her. Alice handed Charlotte back to me and ran off crying, and spent the rest of the event crying in the car. I went to see her to apologize but she didn’t want to hear any of it. My mum gave her one of her shirts which was too big for her and she felt completely upset and humiliated.
Today I got a call from my mum, saying that she’d been on the phone to her sister (Alice’s mum) saying that they want me to reimburse the cost of the blouse (roughly £1800) since it was completely ruined.
I have said no. At the end of the day we all know what babies can be like. She took a risk wearing something so expensive knowing a baby was nearby and unfortunately it backfired. I feel bad for her but it was not my fault.
Am I doing the right thing by refusing to pay up?
Wearing expensive designer stuff around what is potentially a living vomit machine is one of the stupidest things you can think of to do.
Counter them with “I’ll happily pay for the dry cleaning on the shirt as a matter of responsibility but nothing more as £1800 on a shirt is something that we can’t afford to spend at all and Alice should have known that when she attended wearing that”
If the original poster has another baby, I certainly hope she can deal with having everyone show up to her next baby shower dressed in their pajamas like a bunch of paupers.