Amazon is the perfect place to find a host of practical products, whether you’re in the market for a new set of pots and pans, or just stocking up on AAA batteries.
But just scratch the surface, and Amazon is host to some of the strangest products that you’ll see online. From inexplicable wall decals to insane-but-brilliant inventions, we’ve gathered together thirty-six of the weirdest things that you can buy on Amazon, including a few that you’ll probably want immediately.
But the latest Amazon launch may well be the weirdest yet. Ever wondered how a chicken would actually cross the road? Well, Amazon has provided the answer – and it’s as bizarre as you’re probably imagining.
We hope you find these products as awesome as we do. Just an FYI: We are a participant in the Amazon affiliate program, and Brainjolt may receive a share of sales from links on this page. Prices on Amazon fluctuate so anything mentioned below might change as soon we publish it!
This Nicolas Cage PIllow Case.
Look, you love Nic Cage, I love Nic Cage, we all love Nic Cage. And you need his face on a pillowcase. That’s all there is to this story.
This Melting Pig Steamer.
All you have to do is place this melting piggy over your vegetables in a pot to help steam them perfectly.
One hundred Misprinted Pens.
You don’t want a box of one hundred random ballpoint pens with misprinted company names on them? Of course you do!
These Light-Up False Eyelashes.
Your clubbing outfits deserve these LED light-up false eyelashes! They change into seven colors with the help of a wearable controller that fits right over your ear.
This Shaving Bib.
If you are, or you live with, a guy who shaves, this shaving bib is a perfect product. It has suction cups that stick right onto the mirror and catch every tiny hair that falls.
These Grass Flip Flops.
There’s nothing quite like walking barefoot on fresh grass, and with these grass flip flops, you can do that all the time!
You could be grossed out by the prospect of buying a pair of real live cockroaches on the Internet, or you could name them Simon and Garfunkel and give them all the kisses.
This Play Suture Kit.
Practice sewing up human skin with this suture pad! It even has three layers to mimic skin, fat, and muscle.
This Bacon-Flavored Floss.
I don’t know that there is anyone in the world who really wants bacon-flavored floss, which is why you should buy it right now and give it to someone that you want to confuse.
This Tongue Brush for your cat.
As if cat people needed another reason to get closer to their furry friends. This spiky tongue will make your kitty purr, and your cat will love you even more than she already does.
The boyfriend pillow is the greatest because it’s just like a man, but it doesn’t have a head (you know, the worst part of men)!
The best part of Lucky Charms are the marshmallows, so why even deal with the healthy wheat bits when you can just have a whole entire bowl of the sweet stuff? And, by bowl, I mean eight whole pounds. Of marshmallows.
These Rare Two-Dollar Bills.
These two-dollar bills are rare and consecutive. They’ve never been in circulation and they will be in perfect condition when you receive them. If you’re a collector, or you don’t mind paying $20 for $10, this is for you!
This Mullet Headband.
You may not think that you need a sweatband with a mullet wig built into the back of it, but oh boy, you were mistaken…
This Full-Body Suit.
Someday, you will need a skin-tight full-body spandex suit, and you don’t want to be caught without one when the time comes. This one comes in seven colors, so you can dress as the whole rainbow!
This T-Shirt depicting a cat riding a llamacorn.
Yes, that is a llama with a unicorn horn and a cat on its back. And a rainbow in the background. And UFOs. Don’t worry about it. Just wear it everywhere.
This Gigantic Gummy Python.
This gummy python is 8 feet long and weighs twenty-seven pounds. That’s a lot of candy. Like, verging on too much candy. If that’s a thing.
This Sushi Bazooka.
The sushi bazooka has a fun name, but, unfortunately, you don’t use it to shoot sushi into the sky. You do, however, put the rice and the fillings inside to form the perfect sushi roll. It comes with an instructional e-book and a sushi mat, too!
This Female Urination Device.
The Go Girl allows women to pee while standing up. It fits in your purse or your glove compartment and is perfect for those public restroom debacles and side of the road emergencies.
This Wall Decal of an old woman with asthma.
Maybe you’re lonely. Maybe you just like the decor. Whatever it is, this giant wall decal of an elderly woman breathing into her inhaler is here for you.
This Cat Butt Tissue Holder.
This is the perfect gift for the cat lady in your life.
And, if you are the cat lady in your own life, go ahead. Treat yourself.
This Giant Watermelon Slicer.
It’s an apple corer!
This Yodeling Pickle.
This is a yodeling pickle. It’s not anything else. It’s a pickle. That yodels. And you, or someone that you know, would very much like to own it.
These Jellyfish Air Plants.
These are real live plants that hang upside down in your house looking like green jellyfish. They don’t require any soil, just air, water, and care.
These Salt Blocks for Your Feet.
Himalayan salt is supposed to have healing and detoxifying properties, hence these salt blocks for your feet. They’re supposed to ease your aches and pains.
The Chambong is “glassware for rapid champagne consumption,” which is always a good idea, isn’t it? Yeah, it totally is.
This Busty Dog Costume.
We thought that this world was complete. But then we saw this Marilyn Monroe knock-off dog costume and saw this hilarious little bulldog with boobs. And now the world is complete.
This Light-Up Shower Head.
Bring the club to your shower with this LED light-changing showerhead. It has seven colors that change automatically to make your shower the most fun part of your day.
This Fanny Pack that looks like a man-belly.
The belly bag looks like the beer belly of a dad at a BBQ. This is the perfect gag gift for anyone you know. Who doesn’t love a fanny pack?
These Tiny Hands.
These tiny hand finger puppets are the creepiest way to say hello.
You get a set of 10; that’s fifty fingers!
This Exfoliating Foot Peel.
One treatment with the Baby Foot Peel and your feet will be molting like snakes in a matter of days. It’s grossly satisfying and you will love it!
This Ingrown Toenail Fixer.
This cool, weird tool totally corrects your nasty ingrown toenails.
Sure, it’s gross, momentarily. But it’s totally worth it.
This Tongue Brush.
Many people forget that you have to clean your tongue regularly, but you do! This pack of four tongue cleaners will rid your mouth of nasty bacteria and help keep your chompers clean!
These Fart Pads.
We all have gas sometimes. These Subtle Butt patches use charcoal to filter your stinky farts. They are discreet and they adhere right to your undergarments.
Something called Liquid Ass.
Taking things in the opposite direction, is this bottle of Liquid Ass. It’s a super gross fart-smelling spray. To use on your worst enemies.
This Pimple Popping Toy.
If you are a fan of the super gross, super satisfying hobby of pimple popping, this toy will be heaven for you. You can refill it with fake pimple pus and enjoy popping over and over again.
It’s for a very niche section of the market – those who own pet chickens (or other small birds).
If you’ve ever tried to walk your pet chicken, there’s little doubt that you’ve been “comedically” asked, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”
They’re selling a chicken harness which can enable you to safely get your chicken across the road – and anywhere else that you may need them to walk.
It’s adjustable, so it can fit a wide range of bird sizes, and won’t cause your beloved bird to strain or hurt its neck.
If you’re interested in this slightly odd (though potentially useful) invention, you can purchase right here. It’s no impulse purchase though – it’ll set you back around $50!