Amazon is the perfect place to find a host of practical products, whether you’re on the market for a new set of pots and pans, or just stocking up on AAA batteries.
But just scratch the surface, and Amazon is host to some of the strangest products you’ll see online. From inexplicable wall decals to insane-but-brilliant inventions, we’ve gathered together a list of the weirdest things you can buy on Amazon, including a few you’ll probably want immediately.
There’s also one product that seems to be gaining particular attention on the internet, and it’s certainly not what you’d expect…
This Nicolas Cage PIllow Case
Look, you love Nic Cage, I love Nic Cage, we all love Nic Cage. And you need his face on a pillowcase. And that’s all there is to this story.
This Melting Pig Steamer
All you have to do is place this melting piggy over your vegetables in a pot to help steam them perfectly.
100 Misprinted Pens
You don’t want a box of 100 random ballpoint pens with misprinted company names on them? Of course you do!
These Light-Up False Eyelashes
Your clubbing outfits deserve these LED light-up false eyelashes! They change into seven colors with the help of a wearable controller that fits right over your ear.
This Shaving Bib
If you are or you live with a guy who shaves, this shaving bib is a perfect product. It has suction cups that stick right onto the mirror and catch every tiny hair that falls.
These Grass Flip Flops
There’s nothing quite like walking barefoot on fresh grass, and with these grass flip flops, you can all the time!
These Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches
You could be grossed out by the prospect of buying a pair of real live cockroaches on the Internet, or you could name them Simon and Garfunkel and give them all the kissies.
This Play Suture Kit
Practice sewing up human skin with this suture pad! It even has three layers to mimic skin, fat, and muscle.
This Bacon-Flavored Floss
I don’t know that there is anyone in the world who really wants bacon-flavored floss, which is why you should buy it right now to give it to someone you want to confuse.
This Tongue Brush for Your Cat
As if cat people needed another reason to get closer to their furry friends. This spiky tongue will make your kitty purr, and your cat will love you even more than she already does.
This Boyfriend That’s Also a Pillow
The boyfriend pillow is the greatest because it’s just like a man but it doesn’t have a head! (You know, the worst part of men.)
This 8 lb. Bag of Cereal Marshmallows
The best part of Lucky Charms are the marshmallows, so why even deal with the healthy wheat bits when you can just have a whole entire bowl of the sweet stuff? And by bowl I mean eight whole pounds. Of marshmallows.
These Rare Two-Dollar Bills
These two-dollar bills are rare and consecutive. They’ve never been in circulation and they will be in perfect condition when you receive them. If you’re a collector or you don’t mind paying $20 for $10, this is for you!
This Mullet Headband
You may not think you need a sweatband with a mullet wig built into the back of it, but oh boy, you were mistaken.
This Full-Body Suit
Someday, you will need a skin-tight full-body spandex suit, and you don’t want to be caught without one. This one comes in seven colors so you can dress as the whole rainbow!
This T-Shirt Depicting a Cat Riding a Llamacorn
Yes, that is a llama with a unicorn horn and a cat on its back. And a rainbow in the background. And UFOs. Don’t worry about it. Just wear it everywhere.
This Gigantic Gummy Python
This gummy python is eight feet long and 27 lbs. That’s a lot of candy. Like, verging on too much candy. If that exists.
This Sushi Bazooka
The sushi bazooka has a fun name, but unfortunately, you don’t use it to shoot sushi into the sky. You do, however, put the rice and the fillings inside to form the perfect sushi roll. It comes with an instructional e-book and a sushi mat too!
This Female Urination Device
The Go Girl allows women to pee while standing up. It fits in your purse or your glove compartment and is perfect for those public restroom debacles and side of the road emergencies.
This Wall Decal of an Old Woman with Asthma
Maybe you’re lonely. Maybe you just like the decor. Whatever it is, this giant wall decal of an elderly woman breathing into her inhaler is here for you.
This Cat Butt Tissue Holder
This is the perfect gift for the cat lady in your life.
And if you are the cat lady in your own life, go ahead. Treat yourself.
This Yodeling Pickle
This is a yodeling pickle. It’s not anything else. It’s a pickle. That yodels. And you or someone you know would very much like to own it.
These Jellyfish Air Plants
These are real live plants that hang upside down in your house looking like green jellyfish. They don’t require any soil, just air, water, and care.
These Salt Blocks for Your Feet
Himalayan salt is supposed to have healing and detoxifying properties, hence these salt blocks for your feet. They’re supposed to ease your aches and pains.
These Chambongs
The Chambong is “glassware for rapid champagne consumption,” which is always a good idea, isn’t it? Yeah, it totally is.
This Busty Dog Costume
We thought this world was complete. But then we saw this Marilyn Monroe knock-off dog costume and saw this hilarious little bulldog with boobs. And now the world is complete.
This Light-Up Shower Head
Bring the club to your shower with this LED light-changing showerhead. It has seven colors that change automatically to make your shower the most fun part of your day.
This Fanny Pack That Looks Like a Man Belly
The belly bag looks like the beer belly of a dad at a BBQ. This is the perfect gag gift for any person you know. Who doesn’t love a fanny pack?
These Tiny Hands
These tiny hand finger puppets are the creepiest way to say hello.
You get a set of 10, so that’s 50 fingers!
This Exfoliating Foot Peel
One treatment with the Baby Foot Peel and your feet will be molting like snakes in a matter of days. It’s so grossly satisfying and you will love it!
This Ingrown Toenail Fixer
This cool, weird tool totally corrects your nasty ingrown toenails.
Sure, it’s gross, momentarily. But it’s totally worth it.
This Tongue Brush
Many people forget that you have to clean your tongue regularly, but you do! This pack of four tongue cleaners will rid your mouth of nasty bacteria and help keep your chompers clean!
These Fart Pads
We all have gas sometimes. These Subtle Butt patches use charcoal to filter your stinky farts. They are discreet and they adhere right to your undergarments.
Something Called Liquid Ass
Taking things in the opposite direction is this bottle of Liquid Ass. It’s super gross smelling fart spray. To use on your worst enemies.
This Pimple Popping Toy
If you are a fan of the super gross, super satisfying pimple popping, this toy will be heaven for you. You can refill it with fake pimple pus and enjoy popping over and over again.
And perhaps most weird or useful (depending on how you view it) of all, is this nightstand.
It looks pretty normal at first glance, right?
It also doubles up as a self-defense tool.
Yes, that’s right, this nightstand converts to a bat and a shield so that you can ward off any potential intruders in your home, and the reviews are hilarious…
How does it actually work?
While, day to day, the nightstand will be great for your nighttime Netflix binge sessions, that midnight snack that you’re sneaking into the room, or for your morning cup of coffee, if the unthinkable happens… rest assured, you’ll be fully equipped to defend yourself and your home.
So, if you hear an intruder, simply take your table apart…
Made out of bamboo, the table is waterproof and easy to clean… it’s all you need in your nightstand-cross-weapon.
This user put the nightstand to the test.
“The torso sized shield is ideal, allow for the protection of vitals and/or genitals in the event of an assault, the picture clearly shows a left-handed user, but is equally usable for righties.”
Find the defense nightstand on Amazon while stocks last!