Bizarre Horoscopes From the ’70s Go Viral for Brutal Readings

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A lot of us are obsessed with all things astrology, finding ourselves turning to our horoscopes for a glimpse into the future. But this week, some bizarre horoscopes from this ’70s have gone viral for their utterly brutal readings, and quite frankly, we can’t believe they were allowed to be published.

You’re in for a wild ride, so buckle up and keep scrolling to take a look for yourself…

From horoscopes to birth charts, memes to readings, astrology seems to have become a whole aesthetic in itself.

And, of course, how often we judge people based on what sign they are (we’re looking at you, Gemini’s).

Don’t even try and deny that you do a little sigh of relief when it’s over.

Star sign meme accounts are on the rise and raking in some eye-watering numbers.

Studies have even shown that sites such as Broadly have seen traffic for their horoscopes “grown really exponentially.” Aka, everyone is a bit obsessed right now.

There’s no denying you’ve probably had a sneaky look at your horoscope once or twice, even just for the fun of it.

Looking for answers within the stars can be traced back for decades.

While horoscopes always existed – found by flicking through the pages of magazines – astrology somewhat faded into the background… until the ’70s, that is.

A girl has discovered a horoscope page from 1979, with readings so brutal we don’t even know how they were published. Keep scrolling to check them out for yourself, and to see what your horoscope is…

And the post instantly went viral, with thousands of reactions from bamboozled users.

And many people simply couldn’t believe what they had read.

And in true Twitter spirit, many saw the funny side to the eyebrow-raising excerpts.

So, without further ado, let’s take a look at each of the horoscopes…

This one may start off on a positive note by praising the “inventive mind” of an Aquarian, but things take a dramatic turn. Yikes.

Aquarians got off easy compared to Pisceans, who are accused of “flaunting their power” and “lacking confidence.” Ouch.

Sadly, it appears that there’s simply nothing positive for Aries.

Taureans get off to a slightly easier start, being told they are “practical and persistent,” but, once again, things very quickly turn savage.

Ah, Gemini’s… this one is a really wild ride.

Cancer’s get a good old backhanded compliment, being labeled as a “sucker” before being told they are probably in prison. What did we just read again?

“You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you’re an idiot.” Talk about straight to the point…

Virgo’s will be left feeling very insecure about their friendships after reading their horoscope. Oh, and you’re also either a bus driver or a pimp.

We have been stunned into silence on this one.

This is definitely one of the worst of the bunch – according to the horoscope, if you’re a Scorpio, you’re a murderer.

Sagittarians appear to get off to a promising start, but it all goes downhill as they are labelled as talentless and a drunk.

The final of the lot is pretty awful, we must day. Big yikes… sorry, Capricorns.

Either way, everyone has now been left suitably attacked.  

Starting with this.

No words.

Capricorn’s in particular felt victimized by the horoscopes.

For more like this, scroll on for tweets only people who love astrology will understand.