That’s right, folks, the parade honoring the struggles for equality and acceptance that the straight community has endured went ahead last weekend.
I feel as though bigots act a lot like children that don’t know any better.
Kids demand attention like oxygen – what’s the point of jumping in the pool if no one’s watching, right? Only as adults, we grow to accept that the world doesn’t revolve around us – we’re not in our own version of The Truman Show.
As adults, we understand that there are parties that we’re not invited to, that there are songs that aren’t written for us, that there are protests that aren’t fighting for us. As adults, we accept the noise of our neighbor’s party – they will do the same for us – we support movies that are not about us, we want to learn about other people, other cultures. As adults, we fight for the voiceless, we stand in solidarity with those suffering injustice, we check and we acknowledge our privilege, we try our best.
But, like I say, bigots are stuck in a perpetual childhood poolside, their voices hoarse from screaming, demanding to be seen, demanding to be heard. Maybe their parents indulged them too much, perhaps they were spoilt and didn’t get used to jumping in without anyone watching…
Whatever it was that made bigots the way they are led to a straight pride parade in Boston this weekend – and it failed as hard as a red-raw belly flop.
Scroll on to see pictures from this year’s Boston Straight Parade and to find out what went down.
As a gay person myself, I’m not even sure that I’m offended by this “event.” After seeing the pictures and reading the live commentaries on Twitter, I’m just confused. I’m confused as to why straight, white men have such a bee in their bonnet about being the center of attention. We hear you! We’ve heard you.
I mean, come on… do you always have to be the one to carve the turkey? For god’s sake, let someone else have the leg for once, there’s plenty to go around.
Not only to advocate for equal rights, but also to celebrate the lives of those lost to hatred and bigotry.
And the city of Boston was actually willing to go along with their crazy ideologies.
Why? Just why, Boston? Why do you have to be like this?
I know, just the name sounds like a troll, doesn’t it?
But, sadly, this is a genuine and legitimate group.
He didn’t win his election because Massachusets is traditionally a pretty liberal state.
So it’s no surprise that Hugo lost his race to Democrat, Katherine Clark.
He and vice president, Mark Sahady, claim to advocate “on behalf of the straight community”.
Because, you know, straight people have had it so bad.
Apparently, the city of Boston originally declined the request.
Because if there’s one thing that straight people have to face every day, it’s discrimination concerning their sexual preferences…
To everyone’s disbelief, talks of actually making this parade happen began.
“This is our chance to have a patriotic parade in Boston as we celebrate Straight Pride.”
Although what says freedom more than, you know, being okay with who you are and being able to be that person 100%?
Let’s face it, it should have been fake news.
They’re pretty extreme, and, also, pretty damn funny.
This is what their straight flag looks like. Thanks. I hate it.
And here’s a full, freaking insane quote from John Hugo taken directly from their website.
“Straight people are an oppressed majority. We will fight for the right of straights everywhere to express pride in themselves without fear of judgement (sic) and hate. The day will come when straights will finally be included as equals among all of the other orientations>”
Sadly, it doesn’t look that way. But even if he was, all of this would still be pretty damaging. There are people out there who take his rhetoric seriously, which could lead to even more consequences for the LGBTQ community.
People take them seriously, solely because it’s what they believe.
And this “parade” is giving legitimacy to a group of people whose opinions are filled with hate and disgust. Whether John Hugo believes his words or not is irrelevant.
In June this year, Boston officials officially approved the application for the Straight Pride parade.
John Hugo made his grand announcement a press conference in front of Boston City Hall Plaza: “We just had a great meeting at City Hall with a bunch of wonderful professionals who have assured us our date of Aug. 31,” Hugo said. “We will have the parade, and it’s going to be a great time. We invite anyone who wants to come, as long as they respect each other.”
It’s making me cringe just thinking about it.
The parade was planned to start at Copley Square and conclude at the Boston City Hall. Hugo added that there would even be some celebrity appearances, “…we will have speeches and some more celebrities, and just have a super happy fun time.”
A super happy fun time…
The group’s slogan is “It’s great to be straight,” for goodness sake!
“We’re not anti-gay, we’re pro-straight . . . we’re a sexual orientation advocacy group, and we’re a young civil rights movement,” Hugo insisted (a little desperately…) at the press conference. “We don’t hate anyone. And we just want to have our own celebration just like everybody else has a right to. All people from all communities are welcome, so long as they show mutual respect.”
In one of their many blog entries, they stated that “until an ‘S’ is added, LGBTQ pride will continue to be a system of oppression designed to systematically erase straight people from existence.”
Yep, they think that the LGBTQ community is trying to banish all straight people.
Sorry, trying not to burst out laughing at this one.
Why can’t they accept that, while celebrating Gay Pride, the LGBTQ community isn’t taking a dig at all the heterosexual people out there? Straight people are more than welcome to join in with the festivities of Gay Pride, which, remember, celebrates and remembers all those who have died in the fight for equal rights.
The internet was in full backlash mode at the announcement that the parade was actually happening…
It’s true. This parade only stands to belittle LGBT pride. “Oh, you have a thing, well we can have that thing too. You’re not special.”
Like it always does in these situations, the internet responded fantastically.
I just need someone to stand over me while I’m cooking and tell me that I’m doing it wrong.
I guess this was the straight guy’s walk of shame…
I haven’t heard from Smash Mouth since the last Shrek movie! They’re finally out of hiding.
I can’t imagine the number of times that the words “no homo” were muttered.
Can we get a companion piece to Queer Eye that’s called The Heteros Are Upseteros? Please, Netflix?
As the parade got into full swing, it became clear that this “celebration of Straight Pride” was not a welcome insert into the public life of most Boston-residents. With over a thousand protestors taking the streets to denounce the parade, the whole thing was deservedly undermined.
Straight, Trump-supporting, white supremacist types.
Speaking to a Guardian reporter, one protestor made it clear that, although the parade was supposedly celebrating being straight,” people sensed a much more sinister undertone to the white men’s march. Rachel, a black activist, explained: “We know the organizers of the so-called Straight Pride parade do not limit their bigotry to heterosexuality.”
Mark Sahady (the guy in the white tee) was one of the three men to organize the event and, as his last name almost spells, he is what you should consider to be a shady guy.
Well, for starters, they are all considered to be white supremacist groups by the America Defamation League. All three groups are also groups that Mark Sahady is involved with.
His co-host, John Hugo (the guy in the unflattering Captain America tee), is also involved with alt-right groups. When he ran (unsuccessfully) for Massachusetts’ Fifth Congressional District last year, he was backed by none other than far-right, supremacist group, “Resist Marxism.”
So, just some nice, harmless, straight guys wanting to celebrate their sexual orientation, right?
The white supremacist organization, “Proud Boys” might ring a bell to you if you heard the story about how they were found to be responsible for the violent attack on a man who stole one of their Maga hats in October 2018. They beat up the man to a horrendous state on the streets of New York City, kicking him and calling him a “faggot.”
I wonder if they know how gay their name, “Proud Boys” sounds?
Terry Roethlein, one of the lead organizers of New York City’s Queer Liberation March, spoke to Vox about why he thought that Straight Pride was happening: “They’re grasping at straws,they’re using any available platform to create waves because either way they’re going to get some people that agree with them or will nod in agreement. It’s totally out of the Donald Trump playbook — someone who rules by the dark side of Twitter. It’s just anything that will generate some electricity, some sparks, and some negativity.”
Heyer was killed along with nineteen others when a car plowed into a group of activists who were preparing to march in opposition of a white nationalist rally in Charlottesville, Virginia. With events like these still fresh in people’s minds, it’s easier for white supremacist groups to hold rallies under the guise of something else…
LGBTQ activist, Yasmin Nair, explained to Vox that “Straight Pride is a weird form of nationalist masculinity burying itself under rainbow-colored blankets.”
The brutality of the police at Boston Straight Pride was abhorrent. Accounts flooding onto Twitter demonstrated that the police took full advantage of employing force whenever they liked. As the image demonstrates, protestors were doused in pepper spray, even when they weren’t obstructing the parade.
Using only creative signage and unison chants, the protestors at the parade were unashamedly victimized by the police when they were quite clearly the following protocol and using their freedom of speech to protest against the parade.
Thankfully for Twitter, there were people at the protest on the day who recorded brutality of the police. In this video, we see a man being pinned to the ground for holding a water bottle
Many who were there to witness the event felt that the brutality of the police spoke volumes about the country’s growing support for white supremacist ideologies. The straight parade wasn’t about tolerance or equality, it was about forcing a white, heterosexual, misogynistic agenda.
With about 200 in attendance for the straight parade, there were over a thousand people on the picket, protesting against it.
On the Super Happy Fun America website, set up to promote and arrange the event, participants were encouraged to bring their “super happy fun [selves].”
If that is code for dumbass intolerant bullies, then, and only then, it makes sense.
An extract taken from the parade’s site reads: “The Straight Pride Event will be held to achieve inclusivity and spread awareness of issues impacting straights in Greater Boston and beyond.”
“In anticipation that one-day straights will be able to celebrate their lifestyle like everyone else. What better way to educate and foster unity than by having a parade!”
I would have thought that the fact that marriage rights were always a given to you, the fact that you never got picked on for your sexual preferences in school, the fact that you were never made to feel perverted or strange, the fact that you didn’t have to come out to your family, and, then, by extension, everyone you ever come to meet, would make you feel pretty comfortable with being straight…
Well, I guess, apparently not.
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez spoke up on Twitter about the blasted straight parade.
She encouraged those sitting at home, helpless to the white supremacist invasion, to donate to the activist bail fund. The fund was set up to bail out anyone who was arrested for protesting against the event – and, after seeing the scenes from the day, I would say that it was a very worthy cause.
AOC, you know what’s up.
The parade was criticized by many and was called out for using the parade as a cover for white supremacist march.
I appreciated this guy’s self-reflection that he could have been “more productive” in his first twenty-eight-years of being straight, but I’m sure glad that he’s made up for it now…
But, more importantly, as he says: Is there anything more stupid than a Straight pride?
With a TRUMP 2020 float and another that read “Trump build the wall” it’s little wonder which presidential candidate the event organizers favor… and which president they feel will allow them to carry out such a fascist march in broad daylight – with the support of the city’s police force.
As comedian, Dave Sirus, points out, at least the parade meant that all of the worst Boston residents were distracted for a couple of hours, waving their flags of hate etc.
I have to agree, the “straight flag” design was pretty confusing and does give off a very strong bisexual air…
Well, statistically, more people are actually bisexual than straight – they might just not know it because they are oppressed by society’s heterosexually accepted standards… so maybe the flag is appropriate? It’s like, yeah, we’re “straight,” you know?
If there’s nothing that I can’t stand more than a Mountain Dew-sipping, Dorito-munching, gaming, white misogynistic moron, it’s one that deems himself, and his lifestyle, more normal than mine.
Seriously though, how can being straight be made more socially acceptable?
Maybe you guys need to make a decent rom-com or something, because you’re quite clearly alienating yourselves from yourselves…
How do straight people get away with making sex seem so gross? And then deeming themselves the normal ones… I mean, “meaningful sexual encounter?” This woman and her hubby might have even ruined cheeseburgers for me.
As much as I can tease straight people in all their heteronormative glory, I do so in jest, knowing that they have all the privileges that those in LGBTQ have had to fight for, and are still fighting for, every day.
Acceptance doesn’t come easy. It’s events like this that remind those that are anything stray of the heteronormative kilter that they are not “normal” and everyone knows growing up that being any other than “normal” is pretty darn hard.
When someone loses their rights, loses their job, cannot get an apartment, is ostracized from the community, bullied in school, terrorized in the workplace, forced to hide, or keep secret their true self, pushed to suicide because of their heterosexuality then, and only then, may we start using terms like “heterophobe.”
Was a host of funny memes that we can all enjoy, with the knowledge that the Boston Straight Parade was a complete and utter flop.