Weddings are often accompanied with a hefty serving of drama and very few of them go off exactly according to plan.
But you hope for small issues, like forgetting the flower girl's flower petals or, as was the case at my own wedding, forgetting to bring out the bubble machine. (Seriously, how did we forget that?!)
What happened to the bride in this story was not a small issue, but she dealt with the whole thing masterfully. I'll let her bridesmaid go ahead and share the whole sordid tale...
Let's start at the beginning.
via: TwitterThe Twitter thread started as an explanation for why the bridesmaid had been absent from social media for the past 24 hours. It quickly spiraled from there, though.
Ooh, drama!That's right. Gather your drama llamas and call them to dinner. We've got a feast for them today.
Something terrible had happened the night before the wedding.
via: TwitterThe bride-to-be had caught her fiancé in bed with one of her bridesmaids. (Obviously, not the one posting the tweets.)
Oh. Em. Gee.I know. Pretty unbelievable, right? Well, that's nowhere near the end of it.
Rather than canceling the entire party, the bride decided to do something even better.
via: TwitterShe canceled the wedding ceremony (obvs) but stuck with the original potluck plan. Obviously, the groom was not invited. What happened next is almost too perfect...
It took a little bit of coordination on everyone's part.
via: TwitterBut it seems like it was totally worth it for the party. Luckily, the bride had two bridesmaids who were more than awesome enough to make up for the third one.
Classic girl code.It's always good to know you've got friends you can count on, but it's especially good to have those friends during a crisis like the one this bride was going through.
Obviously, she was angry.
via: TwitterBut she didn't cry. Instead, she decided to get even, along with the help of the two bridesmaids who hadn't betrayed her. The groom and the other bridesmaid clearly had no idea who they were dealing with.
Specifically, they were up against two Slytherins and a Ravenclaw.
via: TwitterI'm not sure there's a worse combination of people to have a vendetta against you. Throw in the fact that two of them have law degrees, and you're in for a world of pain.
Hermione here sums it up well:Everyone knows that if you're going to betray someone, make sure they're a Hufflepuff. Hufflepuffs aren't going to do much about it (and I say that as a Hufflepuff myself!). Anyway, on with the Twitter thread...
It seemed like the Twitter thread had come to an end at that point.
via: TwitterThe bridesmaid said she'd be MIA, but that was pretty much it. Six hours later, the Twitter thread resumed.
The night ended up being a great success.
via: TwitterThe potluck went off without a hitch (just like the wedding! No "hitch"! Get it?). Then everyone shot paintballs at the wedding dress. I imagine that was probably pretty cathartic.
Especially if they had a paintball gun like this one:Yep. That'll do some damage, all right.
(Or, as the party took to calling them, "painballs.")
via: TwitterAnd honestly? That makes sense.
via: TwitterTWIST! The groom and his bridesmaid paramour were revealed to be in Las Vegas. Things continued getting even more bananas from there...
Time for a livestream!
via: TwitterYep. You read that right. The two of them decided to get married in Vegas on the day the groom was originally planning to marry his fiancée.
And then they decided to livestream it.Classy. You know, if your first impulse is to do a livestream while marrying your fiancée's (former) friend, you might want to sit down and have a good think about your life.
Once again, the bride seemed to take everything in stride.
via: TwitterI would give just about anything to have been invited to that party. It sounds like it was probably a pretty great time.
She didn't seem to be too broken up about her former fiancé's decisions.
via: TwitterThis is such a good way to look at it. Imagine how miserable she might have been if he had chosen to do this after they were married.
OK, so, back to the livestream:
via: TwitterThe bridesmaid-cum-bride decided to brag about the "real" honeymoon the two of them were going to go on. The potluck attendees started placing bets. But there was another twist...
That honeymoon? Yeah. Not gonna happen.
via: TwitterThose two aren't going anywhere because the original bride still had the groom's passport! You're probably thinking the excitement died down at this point, right? Wrong. It continued.
First of all, people had some ideas for more livestreams:
via: TwitterThere's only one word for this: Ew.
Nobody wants to see that.Can you imagine?! Sorry. Don't try to imagine. It's just all-around bad.
And now, for the best part of the entire story:
via: TwitterThe bride took all the funds from their shared bank account and then closed it. A small price for the groom to pay for being so horrendous, I think.
Seriously:You don't want all of your money to disappear? Try not cheating on your future spouse, dillweed. The groom didn't respond too well, though...
He wasn't too thrilled.
via: TwitterPoor guy. Just kidding. This guy clearly sucks.
At the end of the day, things ended up being pretty great.
via: TwitterThe bride enjoyed her day surrounded by friends, got some money, and managed to rid her life of a guy who clearly did not deserve her in the first place.
At least a good time was had by all.(Or all who mattered, anyway.) Like I said, it's good to have friends who will stick by your side, especially when there's a crisis going on.
Everyone should have friends like these.
via: TwitterHere's hoping the bride is living her best life... And that she was able to watch some more entertaining livestreams.