A bride-to-be has recently gone viral after she shared a 2-page document she sent out to all her bridesmaids in order to prepare them for their strict wedding duties.
Lisa Torres decided she wanted to be completely “transparent” about the cost of her pre-wedding and wedding plans so that her bridesmaids didn’t feel overwhelmed when the events rolled around.
Posting to TikTok, the auditor from San Antonio, Texas, shared a 2-page letter that she had given to every single one of her bridesmaids. It outlined what the role entailed and how much everyone would be expected to spend.
According to Bustle, the average spend of a bridesmaid here in the States is around the $1,200 mark, so it’s a pretty big commitment to accept and Torres wanted to make sure her friends knew that.
“Before I got engaged, I was a bridesmaid before and I wasn’t fully aware of the costs and expectations associated with being [one],” she started.
“I felt very insecure doing this, but I’m ultimately glad I did. And that was include a letter of what I expected from my bridal party. “
She then went on to say that she just included the letter as part of the bridesmaid proposal box.
According to Lisa, the letter outlined both “time” and “money” commitments, as well as included terms and conditions to who needs to attend what depending on how far away they live from the bride. She even gave her friends the option to say “no” to the role if they didn’t feel comfortable.
In another TikTok video, she gave us a closer look at the letter.
You can see that the document included things like her preferred color for the bridesmaid’s dresses, travel dates, and costs for the bachelorette party, as well as which events are considered “mandatory,” and which are “encouraged, but not mandatory.”
There were also a bunch of FAQs at the back wherein Torres answered a series of questions she thought would pop up.
The videos have since been viewed a combined total of 5.7 million times and have received thousands of comments, with most of them commending her for her openness and understanding.
The brode-to-be spoke to Buzzfeed, telling the outlet that this method should be “normalized” so that bridesmaids know what kind of role they’re accepting.
“It’s really important to destigmatize the discussion around the cost and expectations of being a bridesmaid. It was so heartbreaking to see how many stories there were [in the comments] about friendships ending because this important discussion didn’t happen beforehand,” she said.
All but one of Torres’ bridesmaid’s accepted the proposal but there were no hard feelings with the friend that did not.
According to Torres, they’re “still good friends today.”
We love that! Let’s take the advice and normalize being able to say no when the conditions don’t suit your social and financial needs.