I feel like I ought to start this by holding up my ringless hands and admitting that I know very little about the big deal that is the nuptial ring. That is until today.
Now put away your celebratory balloons and gifts... no one has proposed to me yet. Actually, my ring education came as I found myself deep into a Facebook wormhole that is the page: "That's it, I'm ring shaming."
This is a Facebook group set up to judge and comment on people's engagement and wedding bands. As it turns out, the state of the ring on your finger says a lot about you and your relationship. All in good fun, I'm sure!
Continue scrolling to learn all about what constitutes an engagement ring nightmare and what kind of rings you should absolutely not accept...
Back in the day, it was all about the dress.
Then we started to chill on the dress game...
Now, it seems like it's all about the ring.
I really miss my engagement ring. I dont feel like im engaged at all now. Next saturday cant come fast enough, i want it back! 💍😞— Maria Brandenburg ⚓ (@Maria Brandenburg ⚓)1361552780.0
The war of the rings!
Some girl said to me "my engagement ring is bigger than yours" and I said firstly...my partner knows me 100% and kn… https://t.co/ff1Vuurb8J— 𝓐𝓶𝔂 🍁✨ (@𝓐𝓶𝔂 🍁✨)1550756693.0
So what makes a good ring?
The right ring can bond women.
Some people have very specific ring desires.
IF MY ENGAGEMENT RING IS NOT SHAPPED LIKE A CHICKEN TENDER I. DONT. WANT. IT.— Sydney (@Sydney)1544230426.0
A ring lets people know that you're taken.Besides never being asked, I think the reason I've never been much into the idea of an engagement ring is the whole "now I own you," vibe.
You could see it the other way around...You could see it like, "yeah my spouse has been with loads of ladies before but, hey, I got the ring." I guess it does show how committed your partner is to you. The ring is a circle, a circle represents eternity, etc. etc.
You can also keep the ring if you get divorced!
Some people might want to hang onto it though.I guess even if your marriage does end in divorce, a lot of people want to hold onto their rings to commemorate the time that was and all that. In my last breakup, all I got was an old toaster and a decorative plate that we won at a carnival. Needless to say, I didn't feel any pull to hold on to those.
Does this ring look that bad to you?
via: FacebookNow from this angle, I didn't think so either. It looks fine, right? This is the ring that has been causing such a storm over at the "That's it, I'm ring shaming" Facebook page. So, what's wrong with it?
Well, I mean, from this angle...
via: FacebookIt's the height of the ring that people on the page had a problem with. One user commented: "You'll take someone's eye out with that." Another concurred and added: "So tall, it must catch on everything." Users even questioned how the ring owner, Stacey, could get around doing normal day-to-day tasks with the big studded ring. One person joked: "Good luck wearing sweaters with that." In truth, they're probably right. But, hey... at least she didn't swallow it!
What, you haven't heard?One woman made headlines last week for swallowing her engagement ring in her sleep. And, believe me, it was not as funny as it sounds. She ended up in the hospital!
Meet Jenna Evans...
via: FacebookThis is one bride-to-be that woke up a situation just strange as the one she had left in the dream world.
Jenna lives in San Diego with her fiance, Bobby.
via: FacebookWould you look at the size of that diamond! Fair play, Bob, you clearly wanted to secure some equity.
Because that's the other reason we fork out on a ring, right?It's like an insurance policy at the start of your marriage... if we lose everything, we can always pawn the ring. Better than losing the house, right?
That's unless your partner swallows it first!
via: Facebook.Jenna dreamt that she ate her engagement ring. When she woke up, it turned out that she had actually swallowed it. After being rushed to the hospital and getting an X-Ray, the doctors were able to locate the ring. They then performed an upper endoscopy to get the ring out. Posting about the ordeal on a Facebook post, Jenna said: "I cried a lot because I would be SO MAD if I died. I waited a long time for that damn engagement ring and I WILL marry Bobby Howell DAMNIT...Everything went great, they found my ring just beyond my stomach in my intestines, retrieved it and gave it to Bobby, not me. "
When Jenna asked for the ring back, Bobby said no!
via: FacebookI mean, dude, hasn't she been through enough? According to Jenna's post, after the couple left the hospital and went to In N Out for food, she asked for the ring. "He said no. Thank God I had that chocolate shake." Jeez, what a meanie. She did get it back eventually. She updated the post, writing: "Bobby finally gave my ring back this morning - I promised not to swallow it again, we're still getting married and all is right in the world." Well, at least everything is alright in the world...
Did you know some people wear engagement rings as a cover?
On another note some of you may know that i wear a fake engagement ring on my wedding finger because i dont like to be "hollered" at...— LaPrincesadeNY (@LaPrincesadeNY)1277233760.0
Now if I was to get engaged...
via: YouTube/ Lady GagaHere we go, alright, alright... I'll admit, an afternoon spent looking at rings might have turned my head. Well, I mean, if I was going to get engaged, I'd want something like that scene from A Star Is Born. Have you seen it? The charming Bradley Cooper makes Lady Gaga a cool ring out of his guitar string/wire. It's spontaneous and cute and I think that the sentiment would be way better than some blood diamond. It wouldn't have to be a guitar string, I don't know, maybe like a wooden one whittled out of the tree we first sat under or from the headboard from the first bed we slept in. Haha, I guess I still kind of think rings are silly. But, eh, we're all different. If you're still on the engagement hype, continue scrolling to read all about the girl who dressed up as a bush to spy on her sister's engagement proposal. Trust me, it's a pretty funny story.