A British, businessman has recently turned the internet upside down after he published an Instagram post outlining his "girlfriend" criteria, and let me tell you, the word "delusional" is an understatement for this one...

When you're looking for a partner, it's pretty normal to have a "type", right?

via: Getty

While we all try and avoid having a rigid check-list, there are certain qualities we aim to look for in our other halves.

Some want a funny man or a tall woman...

via: Getty

Whatever our preferences are, we try and keep them pretty general, and obviously, if the right person came along, we'd adjust them accordingly.

But not this man.

Wayne Lineker, a British businessman, and brother of former soccer player Gary Lineker, recently stunned the internet after he posted an incredibly detailed outline of what he expects from a future partner.

Rather than it being a little check-list of general points, it was a highly detailed "girlfriend criteria."

And let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen, it's pretty wild.

It all started with what seemed like a simple request.

Lineker started off his post writing: "So, my family have decided I need a girlfriend for my own sanity and health...so here’s my criteria..."

He thought he would enlighten us with what he's expected to say...

"Ok - Let’s start this off like I’m normal: Strong nice loving personality..." but he quickly changed his tone and moved onto what he describes as "more important things."

1. You must like older men but only me.

Um... I think that's how a committed relationship works, Wayne.

2. You have to be a worldie and (aged) above 30 (OK 28 29 could work) but not my age as that would just look weird.

A "worldie" at aged 30? Sounds a bit optimistic. And does he forget that he's fifty-eight? Yikes.

3. You must like to travel and to fly business class and stay in incredible hotels.

If you're paying, anything is possible, Wayne.

4. Be prepared to give up your career or job or at least be able to work from a laptop on a tropical beach somewhere.

He doesn't ask for much, does he? Who needs a career when they have a rich boyfriend? I feel like I've been transported back to the 60s.

5. You will need to spend the summer in Ibiza and the winter in Dubai, with two weeks in the UK for Christmas and New Year with the families, and holidays to the Maldives.

He is talking about her family too, right? Or is it just exclusively seeing his family before jetting off to Dubai in the new year?

6. No baggage as mine are all grown up.

But he has grandchildren who come and visit often. You're not allowed to have any though.

7. A dog is acceptable but will need a passport.

So children are a big no, but dogs with passports are a big yes? Um... Okay. We can work with that.

8. You must be able to cook as I love cooking, especially Waitrose ready-made meals.

Waitrose ready meals? He sounds highly skilled in the kitchen. Not.

9. You also don’t need to be verified I can sort that for you...

Glad to know he's got the priorities sorted, at least.

10. House music and R&B lovers only. No heavy rock or pop music.

He's clearly trying to re-live all of his teen years...

11. You must like Netflix especially ‘Money Heist’ and also ‘Real Crime.' No chick flicks – watch them with your mates.

Who doesn't like Money Heist?

12. You need to be confident enough to be able to go to the front of the queue in nightclubs and accept a table and free drinks from the owners.

I still get nervous buying groceries, let alone pushing to the front of a line... But free drinks sounds like a nice shout.

13. You will need a driving license [sic] to share a Bentley and a Lamborghini Jeep (pending).

What happens if his new girlfriend crashes one of them?

14. You must never have shared a teeth whitening post!

That excludes every single influencer on Instagram then.

15. I’m not on any dating sites, you shouldn’t be too.

Terms and conditions apply for this one.

16. I’m not on ‘Only Fans’ so you shouldn’t be too.

And same again here.

17. You must love the gym, health food, and have body definition – as I will have soon.

"Soon," he says. Yeah, we've all been saying that for the past 5 years.

18. Accept and love my children and grandchildren and realize no more kids for me... (never say never though).

This one's a little confusing because you're not allowed to have any kids but you have to accept all of his, as well as his grandchildren (at aged 30 by the way) but he might also want kids one day... But no more kids for him. Sounds simple.

19. You must be able to let my PA book all yours and our flights and purchase items online for you. You just need to send a link to him.

That actually sounds pretty good, to be honest. We can work with this one.

20. You must be able to accept my friends as I will accept yours.

If all your friends are over fifty-years-old, then you'll have some competition there, Wayne.

21. Accept I have to reply to girls DMs not just guys.

Then you better accept her "replying" to other guys' DMs.

22. One last thing: Your geography needs to be on point as girls that think Lincoln is in Wales is not good.

Where is Lincoln anyway? I mean, as long as you know where Dubai and Ibiza are, you're pretty much good to go since that's where you'll be spending the entire year.

23. Be intelligent but not boring. Outgoing suits.

Well, if she knows where Lincoln is, then she's already halfway to being "intelligent"...

And he ended the paragraph in the classiest way he could, with hashtags.

"#wifeywhereyouat #banter #real." Wayne Lineker has previously been in the news for other viral content before, so I'm sure you'll recognize him.

Remember this hideous video?

via: Instagram

It showed Lineker picking his "dream doll" from a bunch of pretty girls and the competition was simple, yet cruel.

The winner got to go on a date with the fifty-eight-year-old man...

via: Instagram

While the rest of the girls got pushed into a pool. So as you can probably tell, Lineker has an interesting lifestyle.

As well as this, he's known for his partying.

via: Instagram

And I don't think advertising for a girlfriend is going to slow him down.

So what do you think? Do you fit the bill? Are you Lineker's "dream doll?"

via: Instagram

Slide straight into his DMs if you're into older men and you're willing to give up your autonomy. Not a big deal. Big yikes.

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