A British, businessman has recently turned the internet upside down after he published an Instagram post outlining his "girlfriend" criteria, and let me tell you, the word "delusional" is an understatement for this one...
When you're looking for a partner, it's pretty normal to have a "type", right?
via: GettyWhile we all try and avoid having a rigid check-list, there are certain qualities we aim to look for in our other halves.
Some want a funny man or a tall woman...
via: GettyWhatever our preferences are, we try and keep them pretty general, and obviously, if the right person came along, we'd adjust them accordingly.
But not this man.
Rather than it being a little check-list of general points, it was a highly detailed "girlfriend criteria."And let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen, it's pretty wild.
It all started with what seemed like a simple request.
He thought he would enlighten us with what he's expected to say...
1. You must like older men but only me.
2. You have to be a worldie and (aged) above 30 (OK 28 29 could work) but not my age as that would just look weird.
3. You must like to travel and to fly business class and stay in incredible hotels.
4. Be prepared to give up your career or job or at least be able to work from a laptop on a tropical beach somewhere.
5. You will need to spend the summer in Ibiza and the winter in Dubai, with two weeks in the UK for Christmas and New Year with the families, and holidays to the Maldives.
6. No baggage as mine are all grown up.
7. A dog is acceptable but will need a passport.
8. You must be able to cook as I love cooking, especially Waitrose ready-made meals.
9. You also don’t need to be verified I can sort that for you...
10. House music and R&B lovers only. No heavy rock or pop music.
11. You must like Netflix especially ‘Money Heist’ and also ‘Real Crime.' No chick flicks – watch them with your mates.Money Heist?
12. You need to be confident enough to be able to go to the front of the queue in nightclubs and accept a table and free drinks from the owners.
13. You will need a driving license [sic] to share a Bentley and a Lamborghini Jeep (pending).
14. You must never have shared a teeth whitening post!
17. You must love the gym, health food, and have body definition – as I will have soon.
18. Accept and love my children and grandchildren and realize no more kids for me... (never say never though).
19. You must be able to let my PA book all yours and our flights and purchase items online for you. You just need to send a link to him.
20. You must be able to accept my friends as I will accept yours.
21. Accept I have to reply to girls DMs not just guys.
22. One last thing: Your geography needs to be on point as girls that think Lincoln is in Wales is not good.
23. Be intelligent but not boring. Outgoing suits.
And he ended the paragraph in the classiest way he could, with hashtags.
Remember this hideous video?
via: InstagramIt showed Lineker picking his "dream doll" from a bunch of pretty girls and the competition was simple, yet cruel.
The winner got to go on a date with the fifty-eight-year-old man...
via: InstagramWhile the rest of the girls got pushed into a pool. So as you can probably tell, Lineker has an interesting lifestyle.
As well as this, he's known for his partying.
via: InstagramAnd I don't think advertising for a girlfriend is going to slow him down.
So what do you think? Do you fit the bill? Are you Lineker's "dream doll?"
via: InstagramSlide straight into his DMs if you're into older men and you're willing to give up your autonomy. Not a big deal. Big yikes.