Euphemisms are thinly-veiled phrases we use to describe things we're too embarrassed to actually talk about. And really, what's more embarrassing than sex? So it should come as no surprise that there are myriad euphemisms for it, each one more ridiculous and giggle-inducing than the last.
We collected eleven of our favorite euphemisms for the "the dirty deed" (oh, there's a bonus one for you) culminating with "Netflix and Chill" and why we think it should be removed from this list forever.
Hint: it could be affecting the future of our species.
1. Parallel Parking
I like to back in so I can just pull right out. Wait, what?
2. Adult Nap Time
Sometimes you wake up from this kind of nap more tired than when you went to bed.
3. Sweeping the Chimney
It’s recommended that you have your chimney inspected at least once per year.
4. Aggressive Cuddling
We don’t recommend cuddling with anything quite this aggressive.
5. Interior Decorating
Really try not to think about this one too much...
6. Churning Butter
It’s worth the effort.
7. Jinking and Jiving
It’s just like dancing right?
8. Bumping Uglies
It's far more enjoyable than bumper cars.
9. Testing the Suspension
Sometimes you just gotta make sure everything still works.
10. Boppin’ Squiddles
Okay, this one is just plain gross.
11. Netflix and Chill
Sing it with me: ♪ "One of these things is not like the others" ♪
"Let’s Netflix and Chill" used to be a less awkward way of saying, "Let’s go back to my place and have sex while Friends plays in the background." More recently, however, a new study has found that couples who watch more Netflix end up having less sexy time.
According to the Wall Street Journal, binge-watching streamed content could be the next birth control. They conducted a poll that found 1 in 4 adults have turned down sex with their significant other in favor of watching Netflix.
The Wall Street Journal’s article went on to suggest that the decrease in sex caused by Netflix is also leading to a decrease in fertility rates.
Personally, I think this is quite a stretch; if there’s one thing to remember from your high school Statistics class its "correlation does not equal causation."
Either way, I think we can all agree that "Netflix and Chill" is no longer on our list of sex euphemisms!