Cheap Jokes You'll Only Understand If You've Ever Been Flat Broke | 22 Words

Let's talk about money.

Sorry, did I freak you out?

I meant, let's talk about how money is the worst. Unless you're in the top 1 percent of people, you've most likely had to say no to something because you couldn't afford it. And, let's be honest. If you're reading this, you've had to say no to a lot of things. No matter how hard you try to plan ahead and budget, you still wind up with less money in your account than you'd like. But that doesn't mean you're not a good person or not fun to hang out with. People have to learn that "hanging out" with you means coming to your house and sharing their Netflix password with you instead of going shopping, going to a bar, or going pretty much anywhere unless it is free. And close enough to walk to, because we all know you're wasting your precious gas money on optional outings.

In other words, you're broke.

p>via GIPHY

And as much as that can suck, there's also plenty of humor to be found– if you have a certain way of looking at things. These hilarious tweets will be a good distraction from your bank account!

It is, though!

Whoever decided to place a ton of value on small slips of paper and computer numbers did not consult you first. What's up with that?

So close!

Wow! I hope you remember the little people when you make it there someday! Can I get your autograph?

Spotify can help.

Maybe he was deciding whether he could afford Spotify Premium. Looks like he's stuck with the ads.

Good for you, bird.

Real talk, though: Wouldn't you love to see a pigeon walk into an office building wearing a tie and carrying a briefcase? Of course, you would.

If I had $1,000...

And it's somehow still equally unattainable. Weird how that works.

Checkmate.

And if you can't by ice cream, you will be sad. How has no one brought this up before now?

Party at my house!

I just calculated how much I pay in rent per day and let me tell you: You should not do that if you want to be happy.

Look at you go!

At this rate, you might be up to 7 dollars by New Year's. It's a start?

I am my own worst enemy.

Sure, I didn't need to spend an extra $67 on a pair of shoes. But that's Future Me's problem.

Weighing my options.

On the other hand, you also won't be able to enjoy ice cream anymore. Quite the quandary.

Sleeping for dinner.

I pull the "go to bed instead of eating" at least once a week. To be fair, it's usually because I'm too lazy to make food.

Big dreams.

Be the changed Brita filter you want to see in the world. I'm pretty sure Gandhi said that. But don't quote me on it.

The grass is always greener.

Look at those leaves. Being all smug. Hey, guy in the green T-shirt? I see you! I know what you're doing!

Uh-oh.

There's nothing quite like the panicked feeling that sets in when you look at your account and realize you have too much money in there. It means you messed up.

Too real.

It's the thought that counts, right? (Although, thoughts can't buy ice cream.)

I'll be the judge of that.

People always say having more money causes problems, but this is not something I'm comfortable taking someone else's word on.

What a life hack!

In a pinch, you can also use bumblebees. Although, they do not like the toothpaste very much.

This is what I would do too!

The same thing I do with all the money I have, Alex. Thanks for asking.

What happened?

Or, more realistically, a few minutes after you realize you got paid and then pay all of your bills. It was fun for a minute there, though.

Time flies!

I'm also worse at math, have fewer friends, and have given up any hope of having a moderately successful career.

Thanks, anyway.

I  already donated some water to someone in need. It was me, I'm in need.

Guess I'm on the hook for that one.

Oh, weird. Someone spent $47 on a customized license plate holder. With MY NAME?! What are the chances?

Give me money.

Anyone who claims they wouldn't sell out on social media hasn't been asked to sponsor anything. Get at me, brands! I have a dedicated Instagram following of 166 people!

Don't you do it!

Resist! I know the desire is great, but you cannot do this to Future You.

What was I thinking?

Ah, yes. This is not a fun moment.

Brilliant.

Please don't tell me that's not how it works. Let me bask in my ignorance for one day more.

Guilty.

"How much could I possibly be spending on unnecessary stuff?" -Me, right before doing the calculations and realizing that I spend a lot on unnecessary stuff.

Good one, dad. Good one.

"Dad, I'm hungry." "Hi, Hungry! I'm Dad!" "Haha please feed me."

Oh, that's cool.

Oh, and my textbooks for this year cost $350, so make that -$368. Share this with your broke friend!