Let's talk about money.
Sorry, did I freak you out?
I meant, let's talk about how money is the worst. Unless you're in the top 1 percent of people, you've most likely had to say no to something because you couldn't afford it. And, let's be honest. If you're reading this, you've had to say no to a lot of things. No matter how hard you try to plan ahead and budget, you still wind up with less money in your account than you'd like. But that doesn't mean you're not a good person or not fun to hang out with. People have to learn that "hanging out" with you means coming to your house and sharing their Netflix password with you instead of going shopping, going to a bar, or going pretty much anywhere unless it is free. And close enough to walk to, because we all know you're wasting your precious gas money on optional outings.
In other words, you're broke.
It is, though!
“money is fake!!!” I scream as I careen myself into another overdraft fee— Brandy Jensen (@Brandy Jensen)1522204765.0
Good news, according to my bank account I'm just a cool $1,000,021.87 away from being a millionaire— Tal (@Tal)1535337784.0
Spotify can help.
a guy next to me on the subway just opened his bank app, saw he had $27 in his checking account, shook his head all… https://t.co/sC5OaAcWIU— Bob Vulfov (@Bob Vulfov)1522679190.0
Good for you, bird.
i once saw a pigeon on the subway & it got off at the financial distribct & all i coud think was "cool. that bird makes more money than me"— jonny sun has a new book coming out in april! (@jonny sun has a new book coming out in april!)1456872566.0
If I had $1,000...
as a kid, I used to think $1,000 was a lot of money. But now that I'm an adult, I think it's a tremendous amount of money— Laura O.G. (@Laura O.G.)1458493392.0
Checkmate.And if you can't by ice cream, you will be sad. How has no one brought this up before now?
Party at my house!
paid my rent so don’t ask me to go out because i’m in the crib getting my moneys worth.— chy (@chy)1538429550.0
Look at you go!At this rate, you might be up to 7 dollars by New Year's. It's a start?
I am my own worst enemy.Sure, I didn't need to spend an extra $67 on a pair of shoes. But that's Future Me's problem.
Weighing my options.
MUGGER: GIVE ME YOUR PURSE OR I'LL SHOOT YOU ME: *realize I won't have to pay student loans back if I'm dead* MUGGER: ??? ME: I'm thinking.— jade (@jade)1424741987.0
Sleeping for dinner.
When you broke so you have to go to sleep for dinner https://t.co/LjPuBKGXNV— NERDY CURTY (@NERDY CURTY)1478733098.0
ME AT 21: I wish I had enough money to change the world. ME AT 31: I wish I had enough money to change my Brita filter.— Nate Usher (@Nate Usher)1514260136.0
The grass is always greener.
[Walking around park with kid] Daughter: Daddy, why is grass green? Me: Because God wants to remind me every place I go I have no money— Tim (@Tim)1505737366.0
*sees money in my bank account* oh crap i must have forgotten a bill— KruseKontrol (@KruseKontrol)1534776554.0
Too real.It's the thought that counts, right? (Although, thoughts can't buy ice cream.)
I'll be the judge of that.
Mo' money mo' problems might be true, but I'd still like to find out for myself.— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy)1444421126.0
What a life hack!
I can't afford an electric toothbrush, so I just roll a baby hedgehog in some toothpaste and hold in it my mouth for 15 minutes.— 🇺🇸Frank Whítehouse 🇺🇸 (@🇺🇸Frank Whítehouse 🇺🇸)1408104954.0
This is what I would do too!
[on quiz show] "and if you won some money today keith, what would you do with it?" *leans way too close into the microphone* spend it alex— k e i t h 🐤🥔 (@k e i t h 🐤🥔)1413304537.0
me on payday vs me a day after payday https://t.co/5lXXmdyvA4— Chris Sotto (@Chris Sotto)1535478835.0
A lot has changed since high school. For instance, somehow I have even less money.— Spence (@Spence)1532090895.0
Cashier: do you want to buy a bottle of water for $1? The money goes to charity Me [pretty thirsty]: I already had some water a few days ago— David Hughes (@David Hughes)1494592539.0
Guess I'm on the hook for that one.
Me listening to my bank read me back the charges realizing none of them are fraud & my ass just can't save money https://t.co/MkW0HkHrSP— IG @ Drebaexo (@IG @ Drebaexo)1489547242.0
Give me money.
me:i would never sell out on social media broke me:Just tried this Fit LeGs tea & boy r my legs are fitter than ever! They r just so healthy— Beth McColl (@Beth McColl)1493161323.0
Don't you do it!
Me trying not to spend money as soon as that direct deposit hits https://t.co/02T3AqvHA3— K 🏹 (@K 🏹)1490973582.0
What was I thinking?Ah, yes. This is not a fun moment.
You can't be broke if you don't check your bank account https://t.co/brpgiWflym— Ryan (@Ryan)1485191589.0
Guilty."How much could I possibly be spending on unnecessary stuff?" -Me, right before doing the calculations and realizing that I spend a lot on unnecessary stuff.
Good one, dad. Good one.
When your dad makes a joke but you need money https://t.co/vlDWCIBvrJ— Betches (@Betches)1504920611.0