Not every day at work is going to go well. Sometimes, you're going to make a huge mistake. Maybe you're an assistant and you forgot to order your boss' coffee on time. Maybe you're a dentist and you accidentally drilled into the wrong tooth. Maybe you work at Home Depot and you set the paint-shaking machine too high and splashed Dominant Gray all over a United States senator.
The point is, people make mistakes at work. It just happens. The only thing you can do is hope your mistake doesn't ruin someone's life forever.
But sometimes? Your mistakes at work can ruin someone's life forever. That's what happened over the weekend at one movie theater, where an audience of kids ready to see the adorable Detective Pikachu were instead shown... well, not that, that's for sure. These poor little lambs were forced to take a gander at The Curse Of La Llorona, which is a scary, scary movie that surely warped their sweet little minds.
A huge part of being a kid is getting scared.Since birth, we're being taught to be scared? What more is Peek-A-Boo than a way to make a kid think their parent has vanished without a trace like it was the goddamn Rapture or something.
And kids are fascinated by entertainment that scares them. Who doesn't remember sneaking downstairs to catch a Friday the 13th movie on TNT?October was the best month for this — all the basic cable TV channels would play edited-down versions of the best horror movies. That means that, even if your mom caught you watching, you could argue that most of the blood and boobs were taken out. It was all the fun of watching Jason hack up teenagers with none of the danger of getting grounded!
But you've got to be prepared for them.The key to watching scary movies you're too young to see is to be prepared. You have to have a blanket to cover your eyes, a baseball bat to ward off your attacker, and honestly, a dad you honestly believe could beat up a supernatural serial killer.
Otherwise, kids are going to carry around those spooky memories forever.If you're surprised by something horrible, it sticks with you forever. That's why I'm so glad Blockbuster stores have more or less gone away — those bastards would always put up a big cardboard cutout of Chucky whenever a new Child's Play movie would come out.
And there's at least one theater's worth of kids who will never forget a piece of horror they saw on the silver screen when they went to see Detective Pikachu.Buckle up, those of you who care about the emotional well-being of children — this one's gonna get hairy.
Instead of the hyper-adorable Pokémon film it was scheduled to show...Look at Pikachu! He's got a little hat and he's gonna solve crimes! But I bet they're all silly crimes, like who stole Blastoise's last cookie out of the cookie jar!
... this movie theater played The Curse of La Llorana.
#ShowcaseCompetitionTime 😍 #FOLLOW & #RT for a chance to #WIN The Curse Of La Llorona merch set Book Now:… https://t.co/L9RWmrfyO4— Showcase Cinemas UK (@Showcase Cinemas UK)1557414074.0
The great childhood-ruining mix-up took place at Montreal's Guzzo Marché Central, and Twitterer Ryan George was on hand to chronicle the horror.We are truly glad that @ theryangeorge was there in the theater and chronicling the whole experience. But it does make you wonder — do movies make this kind of cock-up a lot, but simply out of the purview of social media influencers?
The first sign that something was wrong came during the trailers.
The theatre I'm in is playing a trailer for Annabelle Comes Home before Detective Pikachu LOOK AWAY CHILDREN OH NO— Ryan George (@Ryan George)1557443663.0
But a lot of movies have less-than-age-appropriate trailers in front of them.Marvel's Ant-Man came out in July of 2015, just about eight months before Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Justice was released, and it's a pretty good bet that the latter had a trailer in front of the former. And to be clear: Batman V. Superman is not age-appropriate... for anyone. Because it sucks.
But after a couple more...
Andddd kids are crying. Now the Joker trailer is playing.— Ryan George (@Ryan George)1557443738.0
... terrifying trailers...
NOW IT'S CHUCKY OH NO CHILDREN OH NO https://t.co/P2DkGmglDJ— Ryan George (@Ryan George)1557443857.0
... the true movie-going nightmare began.It's one thing to advertise horror movies to children. But to actually show them real scenes from a horror movie?! That's practically brain assault.
These fools done played The Curse of La Llorana for a bunch of children.
Don’t open your eyes. The Curse of #LaLlorona is now playing everywhere. https://t.co/A5iYLR4XnL https://t.co/Cnp8npsihY— The Curse of La Llorona (@The Curse of La Llorona)1556989200.0
Ryan captured the first scene.
OH MY GOD THEY'RE PLAYING LA LLORANA INSTEAD OF DETECTIVE PIKACHU https://t.co/j4qX6fAf95— Ryan George (@Ryan George)1557444322.0
And you can't help but tense up, waiting for a jump scare.Did you see that kid looking back at the river as he ran? That is the canonical set-up to look back the way he was going and be stopped in his tracks because the ghost mom somehow got in front of him.
When it comes to these Conjuring-verse movies, jump scares are always on the table.Honest to God, I don't even know if these movies are scary! they're just so full of jump scares that are of course going to scare me! I could watch Rent while my friend just arbitrarily pokes me with a thumbtack every few minutes and be just as scared!
(You just know there was one weird kid who was totally into it though.)That kid's gonna grow up to have loud conversations on the phone in a packed Starbucks. That's messed up, man. That is a messed up thing to do.
At this point, the theater realized its mistake.As though the Annabelle Comes Home trailer wasn't enough. Was there some employee up in the projection booth just listening to children crying and going, "hold on, let's just see where this goes..."
Finally, the movie was shut right the hell down.
They finally realized the mistake and shut it off. Poor kids 😅 https://t.co/mGbgrBx0Oe— Ryan George (@Ryan George)1557444554.0
The audience was moved into another theater...The parents and children were ushered out, but they were not stepping out of that theater the same way they'd gone in. They'd seen some stuff, man. They had seen some stuff.
... where Detective Pikachu was onscreen and paused.
We've all been moved to another theatre where Detective Pikachu is just paused? At least there aren't any more murd… https://t.co/XpmO1pX1h8— Ryan George (@Ryan George)1557445563.0
That means a bunch of La Llorana viewers were shown Detective Pikachu instad of the terrifying movie they paid to see.Imagine sitting down in a movie theater, expecting to be scared out of your mind, and seeing a cute little electric mouse solving cute little crimes! That would be... well, honestly, I don't know how that would be. Not that bad, right? I mean, he is a very cute electric mouse.
They probably saw a trailer for, like, Despicable Me 4.Yup, if the Detective Pikachu-goers were forced to sit through a trailer starring a murder doll, the La Llorana fans were probably forced to sit through a trailer starring Minions. Both are just as scary, to be honest.
And for some reason, no one's talking about these adults' pain.Who is looking out for the poor men and women who were, well not traumatized, but almost certainly confused for a minute (before they realized someone at the theater just made a mistake and that it would either be rectified shortly or they could ask for a refund.)
In any event, the kids who were scarred by Annabelle and Chucky and a few minutes of ghost moms eventually got to see their favorite Pokemon solve some crimes.So that's... you know... a small consolation? I guess I'd rather they eventually see Detective Pikachu right away, so as to wash the horrifying taste out of their mouths.
But will they ever forget the opening minutes of La Llorana, which showed them their first-ever glimpse of the weeping woman?
Beware the weeping woman. #LaLlorona https://t.co/A5iYLR4XnL https://t.co/SwhQ1WOt3l— The Curse of La Llorona (@The Curse of La Llorona)1556557128.0
And can we not pretend there aren't some horrifying moments in Detective Pikachu?What is this mime man's deal?! And why does his skin look like a mask made of someone else's skin?!
The kids who went to see Detective Pikachu on this fateful day might always have a fear of people under sheets.
via: https://www.shutterstock.com/download/success?u=http%3A%2F%2Fdownload.shutterstock.com%2Fgatekeeper%2FW3siZSI6MTU1NzU4OTE1NywiYyI6Il9waG90b19zZXNzaW9uX2lkIiwiZGMiOiJpZGxfNDcwNzA2MTM3IiwiayI6InBob3RvLzQ3MDcwNjEzNy9tZWRpdW0uanBnIiwibSI6MSwiZCI6InNodXR0ZXJzdG9jay1tZWRpYSJ9LCJjckpxalRIT20zYWc3ODJEVkFuVTQ2SC8vb28iXQ%2Fshutterstock_470706137.jpgπ=38424787&m=470706137&src=HKlOpDwoZDE1fsYRAd6uHA-1-0The weeping woman was under a sheet. Uncreative doofuses who think they're being ironic by choosing a bad-but-iconc Halloween costume are under a sheet. Now those children could grow up hating uncreative doofuses!