We've all had our fair share of embarrassing moments. If you're like me, you like to lay in bed and replay them over and over again until you're slowly driven insane from shame and regret. If you're at all into getting eight full hours of sleep, I do not recommend this nightly ritual.
During my years as a server in an upscale retirement home, I had so many mortifying moments that they all seem to blend together at this point, but a few still stick out: The time I launched an entire tray of cranberry juice onto an elderly woman's back, when my hair clip fell onto an old man's plate and splattered fish across his shirt, when I fell down three stairs carrying two full trays in front of the entire dining room. Just revising them now is almost too painful to handle.
So let's all enjoy some hilariously satisfying stories of public humiliation, shall we?
This simple request
what is the most embarrassed you've ever been?— chrissy teigen (@chrissy teigen)1549832869.0
This juicy secret
I have such a good one but I am not prepared to say it. I think it's been 4 years and I still think about it and die— chrissy teigen (@chrissy teigen)1549832972.0
This dramatic gesture
I'm gonna write it on a piece of paper, put it into a sealed envelope and give it to my lawyers to tweet it when I die— chrissy teigen (@chrissy teigen)1549833172.0
This comedy of errors in three partsIt's impressive that he somehow managed to hide this while sitting in an enclosed car with someone else. That had to have been the most terrifying ride of his life.
Part 2Luckily, we were able to find out even more of this spellbinding tale. His "sitting in silence" was clear why his ex accused him of "acting weird." I wonder if this is what ended their relationship?
Part 3And finally, the finale. The decision to throw his soiled undies out the window was a bold one, but at least he had the decency to go grab them afterwards.
This poorly placed grab
@chrissyteigen OH!!! I once tripped on the street and grabbed a passing man’s penis as I fell, he went down too...… https://t.co/tB01HCzHKe— Ashley Storrie (@Ashley Storrie)1549833937.0
This bathroom blunder
@chrissyteigen One time after a long meeting at work I ran into the restroom backed into a stall pulling down my pa… https://t.co/b26xrzPyep— Jenn of all Trades (@Jenn of all Trades)1549833052.0
This airplane awkwardness
@chrissyteigen When I didn’t lock the door of an aeroplane toilet properly and a few people who were waiting outsid… https://t.co/yX1dE2Qmhe— Sophie Heawood (@Sophie Heawood)1549833289.0
This petty prom date
@chrissyteigen When I was at prom and my prom date said she would be right back and she never came back and other p… https://t.co/g66Dmg0Plh— Tony Posnanski (@Tony Posnanski)1549833444.0
This pants predicamentWhat a roller coaster ride this story was! I have to say, I was not expecting this ending, but it's an M. Night Shyamalan-level twist.
This convenience store shaming
@chrissyteigen I was sick once, thought I started to feel well enough to go to the store and get medicine. Ended up… https://t.co/KoOae8T8nX— Wes Surman (@Wes Surman)1549833023.0
This dog betrayal
@chrissyteigen My boyfriend (now husband) had visited and slept at my moms for the first time. We left and my siste… https://t.co/i9TIlriqp8— Kara Goucher (@Kara Goucher)1549842841.0
This check confusion
@chrissyteigen I was server at a restaurant and I was taking payment from a table. The customer reached her hand ou… https://t.co/Rp9W2K9HyS— benji (@benji)1549833161.0
This coffee catastrophe
@chrissyteigen Doing a coffee run in a shorter red dress. As I crossed the drive thru line (coffees in hand) I trip… https://t.co/MnGpMELyUP— Angela (@Angela)1549833700.0
This unfortunate phrasing
@chrissyteigen Hello, two years ago on a work call with 40 (!) colleagues, I was passionately speaking about a proj… https://t.co/cuxktqHO9c— Lavanya (@Lavanya)1549833197.0
This smooth save
@chrissyteigen Once I kissed a guy who just wanted to side hug. My mouth slid down the side of his face. I was like… https://t.co/aa7TieYxa5— Heeeeeere’s Jonny! 🚪🪓❄️ (@Heeeeeere’s Jonny! 🚪🪓❄️)1549833242.0
These unappetizing mints
@chrissyteigen Pulling a roll of polo mints out my pocket and offering them round a group of strangers at a confere… https://t.co/Ms8eZLNJte— Jessie Belle (@Jessie Belle)1549833096.0
This uncomfortable Easter
@chrissyteigen When my 2 year old told me to wash my vagina in a packed restaurant on Easter Sunday. I looked at my… https://t.co/NTYBWoVDa4— elle-Dani (@elle-Dani)1549833091.0
This credit card error
@chrissyteigen I once credit card swiped the ass of the person in front of me. I thought it was my husband. It was not my husband.— Sydney Paige (@Sydney Paige)1549833713.0
@chrissyteigen One time i did the worm at my best friend little brothers bar mitzvah as a joke and my dress flew up… https://t.co/jpqhANNBzj— p (@p)1549852541.0
This interview fail
@chrissyteigen Let's see...how about the time I locked my car keys in my car during a job interview. Afterward, the… https://t.co/kOGo8xKLej— Mindy Kinnaman (@Mindy Kinnaman)1549856084.0
This singing handyman
@chrissyteigen I was on the lawn mower singing my guts out only to find that everyone could actually hear me and so… https://t.co/cqElNGCaek— Craig (@Craig)1549848065.0
This terrible toilet tale...This is one of those stories that starts off badly and just ends up getting more and more awful.
...that just gets worseNot only did she go to the bathroom somewhere she should not have been going, but a stranger also witnessed the entire incident and let his disappointment be made known. There's no coming back from this one.
This too-friendly greeting
@chrissyteigen So many, but here's one. Years ago. Met my ex's elderly great aunt while out for a walk. She went to… https://t.co/UMRjKxeWqy— Beth Ayer Chelotti (@Beth Ayer Chelotti)1549856557.0
This perfect timing
@chrissyteigen Unloading a bunch of groceries from my car, I said to my 3yr old, “I just need one more arm!” I look… https://t.co/Py4MN9FG7G— Mishka❤️ (@Mishka❤️)1549855771.0
This refreshing meal
@benarmishaw @chrissyteigen Mine is also while I was a waitress. It was shortly after I started and before I learne… https://t.co/b9sI4rgD2y— Debra Guckenheimer (@Debra Guckenheimer)1549853472.0
This video evidence
@chrissyteigen tripping over someone's child while carrying their xl pizza to the table probably takes the cake for… https://t.co/BnwecXVcu8— emily (@emily)1549837316.0
This star-studded snafu
@chrissyteigen I worked as a waiter at a trendy restaurant in NYC during college (I had never been one before) and… https://t.co/NVgnlJKpUM— GO VOTE (@GO VOTE)1549832963.0