After an unbelievably difficult few months, Chrissy Teigen has opened up about the impact of losing baby son Jack and how she can still feel "kicks in her belly"...
On what would have been baby Jack's birth week, Chrissy Teigen has opened up to the internet.
The star posted a candid series of tweets revealing one of the heartbreaking truths of losing a baby...
Her honesty has touched the hearts of many.
Scroll on for what she had to say on this heartbreaking week as well as the video of Jack "saying hi"...
Now, we all know that Chrissy Teigen and John Legend have had the worst possible few months.
Because back in October last year, the couple took to social media to reveal that they'd lost their third unborn child.
Chrissy and John had already settled on a name for their little boy...
via: Instagram"We never decide on our babies’ names until the last possible moment after they’re born, just before we leave the hospital. But we, for some reason, had started to call this little guy in my belly Jack. So he will always be Jack to us. Jack worked so hard to be a part of our little family, and he will be, forever," Chrissy wrote on social media.
"To our Jack - I'm so sorry that the first few moments of your life were met with so many complications, that we couldn't give you the home you needed to survive. We will always love you."
"Thank you to everyone who has been sending us positive energy, thoughts, and prayers. We feel all of your love and truly appreciate you."
And, just a few weeks after she shared the heartbreaking photos from her stillbirth...
via: GettyChrissy returned to social media to share an essay she wrote for Medium about her harrowing experience.
In the deeply personal piece simply titled "Hi," the star started off by explaining that she didn't know when she would be ready to address her son's death.
via: Getty"I had no idea when I would be ready to write this. Part of me thought it would be early on, when I was still really feeling the pain of what happened. I thought I would sit in the corner of my bedroom with the lights dimmed, just rolling off my thoughts. I’d have a glass of red wine, cozy up with a blanket, and finally get the chance to address 'what happened'."
Chrissy spoke about the day she lost Jack.
The star explained that she was admitted to hospital after persistent bleeding and multiple blood transfusions, and diagnosed with partial placenta abruption.
Chrissy then described the heartwrenching moment she was told it was time to say goodbye.
via: Getty"After a couple nights at the hospital, my doctor told me exactly what I knew was coming — it was time to say goodbye. "He just wouldn’t survive this, and if it went on any longer, I might not either. We had tried bags and bags of blood transfusions, every single one going right through me like we hadn’t done anything at all."
"Late one night, I was told it would be time to let go in the morning."
"After hours, I was able to relax, and decided I wanted to wait until I really, really knew it was over."
"I’m not sure I’ll ever forget the experience."
via: Getty"I had always laughed about how much I loved epidurals…not so much this one. I laid there for hours, waiting to be told it was time to push. I obviously never had to dilate much, he was still a tiny little guy. "I had been laying on my side, switching sides every hour or so, whenever the nurse told me to. I remember laying on my right side, looking opposite of John, when I was told to make my switch. I opened my legs and started to turn to face John and just like that, he was on his way out. The doctors yelled for a bit and…I don’t know what to say, even now. He was out."
Adjusting to life after loss has been difficult.
Chrissy has been candid about the fact that she has been going to therapy since the death of her son.
But despite the star being clearly emotional and in a bad way...
via: InstagramShe still managed to crack a joke by saying, "So it’s like a post-therapy face filter."
Chrissy and her family are getting through it day by day...
Though the trauma is still very much present.
Particularly for Chrissy, who has now revealed that she can still "feel kicks in her belly."
In a series of tweets posted online, the star shared that she was feeling "a bit off" as this week would have been Jack's birth week.
She then revealed that she still feels kicks in her belly which she pretends is Jack "saying hi."
Her tweets read, "my little jack would have been born this week so I'm a bit off."
my little jack would have been born this week so I'm a bit off. I truly feel kicks in my belly, but it's not phanto… https://t.co/GGaTpU1EFn— chrissy teigen (@chrissy teigen)1612380728.0
"I truly feel kicks in my belly, but it's not phantom. I have surgery for endometriosis tomorrow...but the period feeling this month is exactly like baby kicks. sigh."
In her following tweet showing her stomach moving she wrote, "I'll pretend it's him saying hi - it never stops."
look at this 😩 I’ll pretend it’s him saying hi - it never stops. https://t.co/5FKSE3g8cG— chrissy teigen (@chrissy teigen)1612381870.0
For more on Chrissy Teigen, scroll on to find out how her journey to sobriety is going...