In the wonderfully candid manner we all know and love her for, Chrissy Teigen has opened up about one of the more prominent aftermaths of her heartbreaking miscarriage.
She didn't hold back...
via: GettyTeigen, who has been applauded for breaking down barriers for all mom-related issues in the past, recently discussed her post-baby body.
Of course, most new moms refrain from these grizzly details...
via: GettyBut Chrissy delved right in and gave a raw account of just how traumatic her "baby body" has been for her.
Now, it's been nearly 3 months since Chrissy and her husband, John Legend, lost their unborn child.
via: TwitterIn October, the couple took to social media to reveal the heartbreaking news.
Chrissy and John had already settled on a name for their little boy...
via: Instagram"We never decide on our babies’ names until the last possible moment after they’re born, just before we leave the hospital. But we, for some reason, had started to call this little guy in my belly Jack. So he will always be Jack to us. Jack worked so hard to be a part of our little family, and he will be, forever," Chrissy wrote on social media.
Chrissy apologized to her son..."To our Jack - I’m so sorry that the first few moments of your life were met with so many complications, that we couldn’t give you the home you needed to survive. We will always love you. Thank you to everyone who has been sending us positive energy, thoughts, and prayers. We feel all of your love and truly appreciate you."
She then acknowledged the things that she and John are grateful for...
And, just a few weeks after she shared the heartbreaking photos from her stillbirth...Medium.
In the deeply personal piece simply titled "Hi," the star started off by explaining that she didn't know when she would be ready to address her son's death.
"Instead, I’m writing from the downstairs couch, still cozied up in a blanket but buzzing from a morning of friends and fried chicken."
She took some time to thank fans for their support...
She admitted that she was in no state to reply to kind messages.
She then moved onto talking about the day she lost Jack.
Chrissy explained that she was admitted to hospital after persistent bleeding and multiple blood transfusions, and diagnosed with partial placenta abruption.
"I could have spent these days at the hospital, but not much of a difference would have been made. I was still seen by doctors at home, silently twisting their negative words into positives, thinking that everything might still turn out okay."
Chrissy then described the heartwrenching moment she was told it was time to say goodbye.
"Late one night, I was told it would be time to let go in the morning."
"After hours, I was able to relax, and decided I wanted to wait until I really, really knew it was over."
"I’m not sure I’ll ever forget the experience."
via: Getty"I had always laughed about how much I loved epidurals…not so much this one. I laid there for hours, waiting to be told it was time to push. I obviously never had to dilate much, he was still a tiny little guy. "I had been laying on my side, switching sides every hour or so, whenever the nurse told me to. I remember laying on my right side, looking opposite of John, when I was told to make my switch. I opened my legs and started to turn to face John and just like that, he was on his way out. The doctors yelled for a bit and…I don’t know what to say, even now. He was out."
"My mom, John, and I each held him and said our own private goodbyes, mom sobbing through Thai prayer."
via: Getty"I asked the nurses to show me his hands and feet and I kissed them over and over and over again. I have no idea when I stopped. It could have been 10 minutes or an hour."
"People say an experience like this creates a hole in your heart. A hole was certainly made, but it was filled with the love of something I loved so much. It doesn’t feel empty, this space. It feels full."
In honor of Jack, Chrissy and her family have decided to do some special things for him.
But not every day has been easy.
She shared a short but emotional clip of herself after a breakdown at a recent session...
via: InstagramBut even in her lowest times, she is still a hilarious mom, saying that the look was just a "post-therapy face filter."