Women are complicated creatures. As a mysterious member of the fairer sex myself, I understand how difficult and confusing we can be sometimes. After all, we require our own, specially made products like the Bic "For Her" Pens, adorable and compact pink handguns that'll fit in our purse, and, at long last, a beer designed specifically for our sensitive lady bodies. Thanks to these brilliant designs, we can finally hold a pen correctly in our dainty hands, own a cute gun that matches our favorite pair of shoes, and throw a few brewskis back and fit in with the rest of the guys! But not too many, of course. That would be unladylike.

In case you can't tell, I'm being sarcastic. The following 30 comments made by men, however, are anything but, and it just goes to show how completely clueless some guys are when it comes to the opposite sex.

This jarring image

I have so many questions. Why the uterus specifically? Do men not also have internal organs that are at risk of being catapulted from their bodies?

This showboating bump

The nerve of some people. I'm a seven-months pregnant woman myself, and I have the decency to suck in my bump whenever I'm out in public to avoid showing off.

This clueless customer

Try not to beat yourself up, man. I'm sure this "shy" waitress also wanted your number, just like every other woman on earth! Why don't you go ahead and bother her about it while she's trying to do her job?

This strange expectation

Not only does this guy not understand how women work, but he also seems to have no idea how absorbent material works, either. Or pads, which, shockingly, don't just stay on when you're not wearing clothing.

This medical opinion

My favorite kind of people are the ones who are so clearly wrong and at the same time ridiculously indignant about it.

These differences between men and women

Once I used my husband's shaving cream in the shower and am now forever hobbled. Damn my sensitive lady legs!

This animal instinct

This is a HUGE relief. Even though I'm due to give birth in two months, now whenever my husband leaves the house I tell him, "Honey, stay away as long as you want. We'll wait for you forever if we have to."

This crunchy problem

Finally, a chip designed for ME! Are they also pink, lavender-scented, and covered in decorative flowers?

This unacceptable phone placement

I don't really see the connection between these two things, but if a man says it on the internet, it has to be true. That's a proven fact.

This epic shutdown

Let's all just take a minute to bask in the gloriousness of this flawless response. If you don't know what you're talking about, just don't talk. It's really that simple.

This inaccurate "logic"

This is so true. Whenever one of my girlfriends compliments my shirt I immediately say "I found it in a sewer drain" so she can never buy the same one and surpass me in attractiveness.

This obvious expert

Look, this guy has a Master's Degree in "Standard Female Behavior", so he knows what he's talking about. But don't worry, he's not judging.

This complete mess

Okay, but cats also don't wake you up every two hours with their shrieking, so is the decision really that easy? Also, they probably wait at least two hours before they start eating your eyeballs. Let's give them a bit more credit.

This absolute genius

First of all, I'm sure this really happened. Secondly, this may be one of the most infuriatingly pathetic "actually..." moments in history.

This friend zone translation

Because, when it comes to us women, there are only two options: We either love you and want to date you, or we want you to literally die.

This flawless reasoning

Thanks for the input, Jim. After all, the age-old argument of "she was very mature for her age" totally holds up in court.

This biology lesson

This guy seems pretty upset about the discovery that this woman is, in fact, a tree. Side note: Why do guys do this cringeworthy roleplay thing? STOP DOING THAT.

This invisibility cloak

Wait, you're telling me that we have to wait until we're 50 for this creep to leave us alone? That's an eternity!

This valid question

Twins really seem to be a difficult concept for men to grasp. How did your school system fail you so terribly?

This vomit-inducing tactic

Hard pass. I'd rather my menstrual cycle be off-the-charts insane than be forced to taste your disgusting hog sweat.

This confusing statement

There are so many things to unpack here, so let's just start with the two obvious ones. First off, a woman first starts menstruating around age 13. Also, just because you have children does not mean your period stops, unless this guy thinks that women should just have constant pregnancies until they go through menopause.

This new gender qualifier

Holy cow, I've been a man this whole time! Where's my equal pay and ability to walk down the street without being harassed??

This realistic conversation

Hold on...does this mean that my Master's degree in gender studies won't help me find my dream job as an Engineer? I've wasted my life!

These three options

Let me say this slowly: WOMEN. DO. NOT. WANT. TO. SEE. PHOTOS. OF. YOUR. JUNK.

This believable response

Actually, this conversation is pretty accurate, we just need to change the info in the parentheses. Women: [Trying her best to appear uninterested and says, in the most deadpan voice possible] Jessica. You: [Creepy and sweating profously] Cool...nice to meet you, Jessica. I don't normally talk to girls with headphones, but your big green headphones were just calling to me. Woman: [Laughs out of awkwardness and tries her best to avoid eye contact, hoping random stranger will leave her alone]

This great catch

I cannot get over my shock that Matt is still, somehow, unattached. Not only does he clearly hate women, but he's also full of song and dance!

This attitude explanation

It seems that someone's just bitter about their own shortcomings in this department...


Do people really believe this? Because it's just so wrong on so many levels.

This absolute horror show

I may or may not have thrown up a little bit in my mouth while reading this. This is a real product. They have an actual website with a whole page dedicated to "science" that doesn't actually contain any scientific information.

This range of emotions

So THIS is why my husband always thinks I'm upset when I'm just sitting on the couch, sobbing for no reason! It all, finally, makes sense.