I like to think of myself as a bit of a dessert expert. Basically, I eat a lot of desserts. And that's pretty much it. I can't bake a decent cake to save my life, my brownies are always the least popular choice at potlucks, and my cookies usually turn out resembling tiny, burnt hockey pucks. So the fact that there are people out there who can not only create a dessert that tastes delicious but also resembles something that isn't a dessert at all (like, for example, a fried chicken sandwich with waffle fries or a beloved Simpsons character) is pretty mind-boggling.

The following 30 cakes and treats will delight and confuse you. And they'll probably make you really want some cake. I apologize for any dieters out there. Luckily, there are a few that might make you lose your appetite altogether. Like the last one. It's actually pretty disgusting.

This bag of chips

How mind-bending is this cake?! All that's missing is a bowl of salsa! And by "salsa", I mean some type of tart cherry reduction with mint "cilantro" topping. (See? I could totally be a fancy-schmancy chef, too.)

This sushi boat

I love sushi, and I love cake. So a sushi cake sounds like absolute heaven. ...as long as it's not a sushi-flavored cake.

This soapy sponge

Nothing makes my mouth water more than the sight of a dirty, soapy sponge! This would be perfect if you were trying to hide a treat in plain sight from your thieving family members.

This wooden stump

from pics
I really hope the owner of this cake asked their guests if they "wood like some dessert" before serving it. Otherwise, what's the point?

These fruits and veggies

I realize it says this in the caption, but I just want to reiterate the fact that all of this is made from sugar. Just let that sink in for a second. Also, this means that you can eat a full serving of fruits and vegetables simply by enjoying a slice of cake!

This moldy orange

Looks pretty appetizing, right? It's actually a mirror glazed orange parfait with bubblegum meringue powder acting as the "mold". I'm glad to see that even fancy chefs have a sense of humor.

This taco piñata

Not only does this cake somehow look exactly like an actual piñata, I'm willing to bet that it's also filled with candy. Or, at the very least, delicious, delicious cake. Which is better than candy.

This egg on toast

Since this cake perfectly resembles a breakfast food, I'm assuming this means that I can eat this cake for breakfast. And that's all I've ever wanted.

This noodle bowl

This is almost too pretty to eat. The emphasis here is on the word "almost".

This chicken sandwich

I have a feeling that eating this cake would just be confusing. Plus, it might give you a huge hankering for a chicken sandwich from Chic-fil-A, which would just lead to even more unhealthy eating. Totally worth it, though.

This Ralph Wiggum

If it weren't for the step-by-step photos detailing its creation, I would simply not be able to believe that this is a cake. It's just too darn perfect.

This bike shop

The detail in this cake is truly spectacular. All that's missing is a tiny hipster explaining to a store employee why fixed gear bikes are the only way to go.

This giant trout

I'm not a big fan of fish. In fact, I despise it. So the fact that this cake looks disgusting to me says a lot about how insanely realistic it is.

This boardgame

I love this game! It took 6 hours to play and I had no idea what was going on the entire time, but I had a blast.

This Canon camera

I'd love to know how long it took to create this. The baker really captured a Canon camera perfectly. ...see what I did there?

This fancy fountain

from pics
Hold the phone, does this cake include an actual functioning fountain?! This should be in a museum somewhere, not sitting on a table getting stale at your cousin's Bat Mitzvah.

This frosty beer

Is it possible to incorporate carbonation into a cake? I assume not, but if any cake could do it, this would be the one.

This clumsy waitress

This cake does a great job of representing my short time as a waitress. I dropped tray after tray filled with breakfast foods on the floor, and I made this exact same facial expression while doing it.

This Starbucks drink

This one is just a tad too spot-on. I'm pretty sure that a sufficiently inebriated person could mistake this for the real deal and ruin it by trying to suck out of the "straw".

This striking snake

I must say, I'm a tad disappointed that this baker chose chocolate as the base for this cake and not red velvet. Just think about the shock and awe that would happen when you cut into this thing!

This avocado toast

What hipster Instagram influencer ordered this bland monstrosity? It's not enough to eat avocado toast for breakfast every day, but now you're ruining a perfectly good cake too?! At least it looks well-seasoned.

This chicken breast

Check out that jiggle! If you've ever looked at a raw chicken breast and wished you could just eat it with a spoon, this is the dessert for you!

These Harry Potter books

That Sorting Hat is so realistic it looks like it could start talking (and sorting) at any moment.

These planted succulents

I'm not sure how you would even eat this thing, but I want one. Especially since I've killed every succulent I've ever owned, so one that doesn't require sunlight or water would be right up my alley.

This juicy steak

Hey, look! A steak even a vegetarian could enjoy!

This workout equipment

Does anyone really want to be reminded of how little the exercise while eating cake? That just seems cruel.

This buttery croissant

Honestly, even if this cake was literally just a giant croissant, I'd be more than willing to eat the entire thing in one sitting. I wouldn't even be mad about it.

This giant doughnut

Okay, so doughnuts and cakes really aren't that different, if you really think about it. But a giant doughnut still sounds like the best thing in the entire world.

These baguettes

Does this consist of a bunch of separate skinny cakes, or is it just one giant cake? Either way, I need it for my next picnic party.

This ashtray

As disgusting as this looks, is it weird that I totally want to try it? Let's just hope a waiter in this restaurant has never accidentally served someone the real thing instead of this extremely convincing look-alike. Enjoy these? Stay tuned for the most absurd cakes that have ever been baked...