Ah, young love. It's something most of us have experienced firsthand, and there's no denying its unstoppable power. It can also result in some pretty stupid decision making, an example of which a man on Twitter decided to document in great detail for the entire world to see. And let me tell you, it's one heck of a ride.
If you ever had a "special friend" spend the night and were then forced to somehow extricate them from your house without your parents knowing (it's much more difficult than one might imagine), this story is for you. Hold onto your seat.
Also, if you're a parent, maybe take it as a precautionary tale for what signs to look out for in your own house. Those no-good kids are constantly trying to pull a fast one, and we must always be vigilant.
It all started with a single Tweet by an amused Stepdad.
So, my stepson has a girl upstairs in his room that stayed the night and my wife doesn't know yet. I'm curious on h… https://t.co/DmLO6G4gaB— 🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰 (@🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰)1547913561.0
Naturally, the people demanded more information.
People asking for updates: she's still here, the wife has gone into full Saturday house cleaning mode. Still hasn'… https://t.co/jvQNadEa0t— 🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰 (@🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰)1547915293.0
A sole set of sneakers were the only piece of (glaring) evidence.
No one in this house would have all white shoes... https://t.co/u3naaNnkU3— 🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰 (@🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰)1547915716.0
The teller of this tale seemed shocked at how oblivious his wife remained.
A note on the shoe thing.. there is a side door attached to the kitchen literally right at the bottom of the stairs… https://t.co/VnBRhIyZyp— 🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰 (@🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰)1547916631.0
Apparently, when this woman cleans, she cleans hard.
11:00am central standard time... My wife (amazing wife) cleaning so hard core she doesn't even notice me standing b… https://t.co/65XNE7AAJr— 🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰 (@🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰)1547917302.0
Some people had less than positive things to say about how the Stepdad was handling the situation.
via: TwitterHelp the kid out? That would just be reinforcing this behavior. Plus, he clearly finds it far too entertaining to intervene.
Things start heating up as more and more time goes by.
And the wife is done in the bathroom and has moved onto the kitchen... The kitchen is at the bottom of the stairs! Ooof— 🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰 (@🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰)1547918106.0
Since these updates were happening in real time, Twitter basically lost its collective mind.Seriously, I should have grabbed a bag of popcorn before I started reading this thread. Although I probably would have choked on a kernel from all the gasping.
The Stepdad also starts feeling some sympathy for our poor Juliet.As someone who pees about 50 times a day, having to wait several hours to go to the bathroom sounds completely torturous. I would be checking out the window situation at this point.
Since the responses had been mixed, the Stepdad decides to throw up a quick poll.
So who we rooting for??— 🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰 (@🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰)1547919413.0
The vote turned out to be fairly divisive.
@DropsNoPanties My bf’s vote vs mine 😂😂 https://t.co/zMRoN9gUEH— Liz. (@Liz.)1548022030.0
This could be the break they've been waiting for.
via: TwitterOne more hour of holding your pee?! Is this really worth all of this stress and abdominal pain?
One concerned follower offered up this helpful solution.
@NYorNothing @mikeNYC10 @RoughDesigning @DropsNoPanties If all else fails, this is our last resort option... https://t.co/Xf1F7i3FoG— Ashley (@Ashley)1547927675.0
At one point, this user was so caught up in the story that she feared for their lives.
@DropsNoPanties @OldGeewillakers Do we need to do a well check? Did the wife kill everyone?— ssfrank212 💛 (@ssfrank212 💛)1547926790.0
Stepdad didn't do much to alleviate her anxiety.
@ssfrank212 @OldGeewillakers Lol still waiting... I'm just watching lol— 🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰 (@🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰)1547926821.0
Honestly, this thread has already lived up to the hype.
I'm afraid this thread isn't going to live up to the hype. You know, like a Ben Affleck Miramax movie 🤷🏻♂️ I'm wai… https://t.co/HMwrNvnyAO— 🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰 (@🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰)1547921529.0
This user lamented about how hard it was to wait to hear the outcome of this riveting tale.Seriously, I haven't watched a full commercial in years. How do you expect me to wait for over an hour to find out how this thing ends?!
Finally, a glimmer of light appears at the end of the tunnel.
via: TwitterIn a moment that seems like it would change everything, the girl actually came downstairs and used the bathroom. Did Mama Bear even see her? Is it all over?!
It seems, by some miracle, that it's not.
I don't even know if the wife saw her come downstairs to use the bathroom. She's said nothing and it's not like I can ask... Yet— 🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰 (@🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰)1547922563.0
Oh, man. The side-eye.
Omg this kid!! NONCHALANT AF he casually strolls downstairs... AND grabbed those shoes and went back upstairs. Sid… https://t.co/DdyTI7LXiw— 🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰 (@🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰)1547925203.0
Well that's a wrap folks! Mama just went to the bedroom to lay down and read for a bit. He's got a good 2-3 hour w… https://t.co/6eupLPTAjD— 🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰 (@🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰)1547927158.0
Oh, I could definitely use a drink right about now.
And closure... Sure enough, hit the side door and they gone. I don't know about you but need a drink after that su… https://t.co/BEkVRBWZ8o— 🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰 (@🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰)1547929658.0
It's no surprise that this Twitter story quickly became insanely popular.
So this is where everyone else drops their SoundCloud or GoFundMe links but I don't have either of those so fuck it… https://t.co/sJC8szoHmb— 🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰 (@🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰)1548006097.0
Some Twitter users were not having a few aspects of Stepdad's reporting.
via: TwitterFor example, the fact that he just watched and took pictures while his wife cleaned herself into a nervous breakdown. But his response was that, while he may not help out with cleaning, he's a VIP in the kitchen. Gotta love a man who cooks!
This Twitter user suggested a way for Stepdad to win some major points with his son.
@DropsNoPanties @SupernovaWicked Just put a ladder under his bedroom window. You’ll be his hero.— PDX’er (@PDX’er)1547916857.0
Luckily, Stepdad was not having that idea.
@davidjohnsonpdx @SupernovaWicked It's -4 degrees out... Not happening— 🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰 (@🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰)1547916996.0
Some people felt downright inspired by this captivating tale.
@DropsNoPanties @BREAKDOWNMAMI This is the series I needed to hear this morning. 12/10 on audible. I will be recomm… https://t.co/0JJOdM9Yrn— 𝙐𝙍𝘽𝘼𝙉 𝙆𝙀𝘼𝙉𝙐 𝙍𝙀𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙎 © (@𝙐𝙍𝘽𝘼𝙉 𝙆𝙀𝘼𝙉𝙐 𝙍𝙀𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙎 ©)1547995932.0
One user seemed to think that Mama Bear was, in fact, aware of the situation the entire time.
@DropsNoPanties @TheAlexNevil NO WOMAN FURIOUSLY CLEANS ANY BATHROOM UNLESS SHE'S ALREADY TICKED OFF ABOUT SOMETHIN… https://t.co/ITnOeyzYtC— 6catsNcounting (@6catsNcounting)1547920540.0
But Stepdad shut down that theory immediately.
@HeroineRipley @TheAlexNevil False, my wife scrubs this house ceiling to floor every weekend. I got lucky like that— 🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰 (@🇺🇲 $RSR-Tricky 📈💰)1547921207.0