Dan Bilzerian is one of the most controversial figures of the Instagram world.
He’s marmite. Some guys love him, others hate him. I’ve yet to meet anyone that goes: ‘Dan Bilzerian huh? Yeah he’s alright’. Those guys don’t exist. It’s love or hate.
Well regardless of what you think, Dan Bilzerian is in the news today because he lost one helluva lot of money when Conor McGregor beat Donald ‘Cowboy’ Cerrone in just 40 seconds.
Keep scrolling to find out more.
With over 26 million followers and more coming everyday; is it his unattainable lifestyle that we love to see or is he just one of those people we love to hate?
But he has reportedly had two heart attacks already due to his unhealthy lifestyle and fondness for illegal substances.
And he’s only in his early thirties.
You only need scroll through his Instagram feed to see a whole host of bootylicious babes in various states of undress.
Most with loose morals and probably even looser panty strings!
How is it possible that this photo of Dan literally using a woman as a table got over 2 million likes?
Who are these 2 million people?
To celebrate International Women’s Day, Dan took the opportunity to tell men across the globe to be thankful to women… because they can be used as an effective place for balancing his dinner on.
But with the nauseating ability to use technology to document every element of his lavish lifestyle.
What is it that Freud said about a man who feels the need to own a gun? Ahh yes, that they are overcompensating for small genitals.
Ring any bells Dan?
In June 2015, Dan announced he was running for President of the United States. Thankfully he did a U-turn and withdrew before Christmas.
Can you imagine it?
In December 2014 he was arrested at Los Angeles International Airport on un-related bomb charges. He was later fined $17,231.50.
Such a shame, we’d have loved to see him in a prison jumpsuit. Something tells us orange is not his colour. It would clash too much with his permanent tan.
In December 2014, pornography actress Janice Griffith filed a lawsuit against Dan after he threw her off a roof into a swimming pool which resulted in her breaking her foot.
He decides it’s a good idea to photoshop a picture of himself and the gorgeous Cardi B.
We are sure he must have paid her whole lot of money to put up with him and his giant ego for the night.
We can just imagine what she thought when she found out; “Hell no, he did not just do that!”
Cardi B posted the real version of the photograph in question on her Instagram page which you can see here, whereas Dan posted a digitally altered version where he had slimmed her down and also made her bum appear more rounded.
And she was tiny in the first place!
Just because all the women on his feed are near naked whatever the weather, doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t want a little bit of insulation for warmth.
And anyway some men like a little bit of flesh!
Well, what he thinks are her pupils but what actually are reflections from the flash of the camera.
Clearly he wasn’t first in line when the brains were handed out at birth.
Clearly the glare from the television was distracting away from his manly good looks and natural charisma so it had to go.
Many are left speechless by his bizarre behavior.
We get it you hate women, but what have electronics ever done to you?
Look at me, I’ve just found out how I can play God, at least on social media.
Dance my puppets, dance.
Dude you left a big wet spot on your shirt.
For obvious reasons women want to punch him in the face more than men but the dudes aren’t far behind with their distaste for him.
Why he even felt the need to alter her body which is damn near perfect anyway, we will never understand.
And did he really not think for one moment how epic the backlash would be?
Regardless of whether they have just given birth three months ago or woe betide, we live in a world where women can have all different body shapes and still be considered beautiful.
Note to Dan: Very few (if any) women naturally look like this and if they tell you otherwise they are lying.
A perfect example of trying to be something he is clearly not.
All money and no class.
Apparently Dan is a short, stocky ass in real life.
Could he be projecting his own insecurities onto the women around him?
Mmm, not sure if he’s even deep enough for that.
Another male chauvinist or wannabe Dan Bilzerian who just had to stick up for this loser.
Bet he does the same thing to girls he knows, if he actually knows any females!
That is some seriously bad and messed up genes that he would be passing on. The world definitely does not need another Dan Bilzerian.
And if he had a girl, that would be even worse!
Dan considers himself a big deal in the betting world.
I don’t know how true that is but if you scroll through his Instagram you’ll quickly find he sees himself as Mr. Big on the poker table.
Bilzerian chucked an insane amount of money on Conor McGregor to get beat last night.
And the rest they say is history.
And Bilzerian watched as his money evaporated in less than a minute.
I remember I once lost my last £100 playing Deal Or No Deal on an online game. I couldn’t believe I had fallen to such absurdity and it felt like the end of the world.
So yes, in a way, I know what Bilzerian is feeling. We’re similar in a lot of ways. He’s probably not feeling great.
There was nothing to the fight.
It was over before it even began. A few fists here, a handful of kicks, and some incredibly powerful shoulders from McGregor and that was that. Cya.
Although the exact number isn’t known it is though that Bilzerian lost around $1 million during the fight.
In just 40 seconds.
Woe is me.