Devastatingly Clever Comebacks That Made Us Cackle | 22 Words

If you want a roast to land, you have to be truthful. Say you're trying to roast an old man — it'd be ridiculous to call him a baby, right? Because he's not a baby. He's very very old. But if you saw an entitled rich kid crying at a restaurant because he's only 20 years old and can't order wine even though his parents practically run this town? Well, you call that man a baby. Because he's acting like a baby. And therefore, it rungs true.

That's what makes these comebacks we've collected here from /r/CleverComebacks so incredible — you're going to read them and be like "yup, that's what's going on here. That person on the internet totally nailed it."

Check out these clever comebacks, and feel free to jot them down for the next time you've got to roast a very specific fool in a very specific way.

Must bring own makeup.

ORIGINAL POST: My boyfriend got his side girl pregnant but we both love each other. Should I stay? THE RESPONSE: Yes. They'll need a clown for the kid's birthday parties. - @MsThobekaa

Also Spotify, so the journey's not boring.

via: Reddit

The Youth have Google Maps. - @AffiSupaStar

Who is nature to abhor anything, really?

via: Reddit

It'll be dead soon. Nature abhors a vacuum. - commentsivehadafew

There is — and this is no exaggeration — no worse movie in the world than Batman V. Superman.

via: Reddit

Let them defeat Rotten Tomatoes first. - @Chukwuma_U

It's like chicken-or-the-egg but for bad relationships.

via: Reddit

Fellas, marry a woman that doesn't play these kinds of games. - @MacMaal_

The bar exam should test your ability to come up with snapbacks.

From an actual court transcript: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Boomers love to lecture.

via: Reddit

You had labels on your drinking fountains. Shut the f*ck up, George. - OvertlySinister

Don't ask men to go around int their weird tank-top undershirts.

via: Reddit

The majority of men in business settings are wearing multiple layers of clothes to conform to the dress code. Put on a goddamn cardigan and stop making me ashamed to share a chromosome with you. - @Librumtinia

Hey now, you're an all-star.

via: Reddit

Shrek grossed 484 million just so we're clear. - @TheAccountOfSam

Economics beat you to it.

via: Reddit

You can already do this with a ZIP code. - @nfinitefreetime

I think we can all agree that, whatever the problem is, it's the fault of the millennials.

via: Reddit

They should spend less money on coffee and try pulling themselves up by their bootstraps and accepting a low offer just to get some experience selling houses under their belts. - @YourFriendCrud

Karen's on a real tear.

via: Reddit

THE FIRST COMMENT: Wow I really can't believe how people can be so judgmental over a flipping haircut! Yes my hair has been different lengths of this style for years! I've gotten nothing but compliments on my hair. But then again everyone's entitled to their own opinions... but you don't have to be such jerks about it. THE RESPONSE: Would you like to speak to the page administrator about this? - the_sandman08

Remember that day when Twitter announced they were moving to 280 characters? Because McDonald's wishes it could forget.

via: Reddit

Damn the ice cream emoji broke too? - elementaldwarf

Before you post a status, think about it for, like, one second.

via: Reddit

Book, try reading one. - memezzer

Turning it back around on 'em.

via: Reddit

I respond to these time-wasting questions on Reddit. - Bjarki56

Can't tell if she's surprised or not.

via: Reddit

I would lose weight and look good in a crop top if I walked the distance between your eyebrows. - @araslanian_

See, The Witcher on Netflix isn't based on the games.

via: Reddit

Oh, I must have left it at home WITH THE DAMN BOOKS. - @NXOnNetflix

This guy just earned a spot in my Top 8.

via: Reddit

MySpace Tom's actual reply: Says the guy who sold MySpace in 2005 for $580 million while you slave away hoping for a half-day off.

"No one can know we're together!"

via: Reddit

Is ur man really ur man if you have to hide his name? - @ruckin_

Taking a big risk with your family there, champ.

via: Reddit

That's tough talk from someone who's entire family can be taken out with a rusty nail. - crackshawofficial

A washing machine is how many feet long?

via: Reddit

Americans will measure with anything but the Metric system. - @Ralphium

Very happy for you two.

via: Reddit

So who's the lucky guy? - school-yeeter

Always consider cost of living before moving states.

via: Reddit

You live in Indiana. Your total costs per month is probably two dollars and a sack of corn. - @Namastaywoke

I have never been angrier at a college.

via: Reddit

The sign that was hung up in response read: A student wants you to know: With my tuition I could pay for - 41,460 Taco Bell tacos - 10,365 gallons of gas - 465 tickets to Disney World With this, times 5200 students, I should be able to print whatever the hell I want.

Got DAMN.

via: Reddit

How am I supposed to forget you when every time I go outside I see things that remind me of you like garbage bins and dog sh*t. - prettycoolkid88

Flat earth? Flat mind.

via: Reddit

With the circumference of 24,901 miles, you are looking at a curvature of around .2 degrees, or a little more than 10 feet at 16 miles away. May I say, that curvature is still significantly higher than your IQ. - VirtualTeknique

Clippers are looking good this year.

via: Reddit

The cashier legit told her "I'm tryna hurry home and watch some basketball right now, not date your broke ass." - @rons_post

You need a mask. A layer mask.

via: Reddit

And Photoshop on your face. - StJamie23

You don't want to hear about my trip to Indiana?

via: Reddit

Granted, but you still have nothing interesting to say. - StonyTark3000