Every once in awhile a writer is tasked with a subject that goes against the very grain of her being. This requires her to set aside her core beliefs, bias, and all that is sacred in order to fairly address the subject matter.
I am camped firmly on #TeamMayo, and yet I find myself reading articles likening my favorite condiment to bodily excretions of the worst variety. Fear not, dear reader, for I have come through the fire hardened with the uncomfortable combination of revulsion and craving, so that I may fairly present you both sides of the much-contested Mayo Debate.
In a recent Popular Science article, writer Kendra Pierre-Louis explains why an aversion to (delicious) mayonnaise is backed by science.
Science confirms mayonnaise is disgusting https://t.co/aSO7Jd1skk— David Frum (@David Frum)1510059598.0
According to the food sensory consultant (that's a thing?) Herbert Stone, who Pierre-Louis interviewed, approximately 20 percent of people don't like mayonnaise.
Pierre-Louis' main complaint is that mayonnaise is ubiquitous despite so many people not liking it. Fair point. She explains that even when a "less vile condiment, like a whole grain mustard—a condiment with dignity" is used, it often gets mixes with mayonnaise. "The powers that be cannot allow its presence to go unmolested. No, the mustard gets mixed in with mayonnaise in an abomination called mustard-mayo. Mixing Sriracha with diarrhea doesn’t improve the presence of the latter. Why would adding mustard to Satan's sauce improve the situation?"Well, that escalated quickly. She defends her comparison with science.
While Pierre-Louis fully admits that there has never been a study to see how many people are disgusted by mayo vs. how many people simply dislike it, she maintains that the (delicious) creamy condiment triggers our biological instinct to avoid it. According to University of Pennsylvania's Paul Rozin, a psychologist professor who has researched disgust for over 30 years, disgust comes from a biological need to protect us from contamination. He says, “Feces is the universal disgust, like the first disgust." Rozin goes on to explain that we instinctively avoid other people's excrement because it's contaminated. We are disgusted by it to keep us safe. “Disgusting foods are contaminating," says Rozin. “If you put a little bit of it in something, other people won’t eat it." That's pretty much where the science ends with this whole "scientific proof" that mayonnaise is disgusting.But that doesn't stop Pierre-Louis from viciously maligning mayo.
She writes: "It’s viscous quality is the sort of thickness that you’d get from fluid oozing out of a rotted carcass as anyone who has ever poked a rotted squirrel with a stick can attest ... And the creamy appearance of mayonnaise isn't dissimilar from what would emerge from say a popped zit. Delicious." Come on! This isn't fair.Mayonnaise is simply an emulsion of egg yolks, oil, vinegar, lemon, and seasoning. How could that possibly be bad?
It can't be. And it's not. Yes, I wholeheartedly support the decision to avoid the mayo-laden pasta salad that's been sitting outside on a 90-degree summer day, but a world without mayonnaise is not a world in which I'd want to live. Likening this simple, delicious, and versatile condiment to the revolting effusions of dead rodents is bordering on libel. Mayo is the most hotly contested condiment ever created by mankind. People had a lot to say about this article.Many agreed with Pierre-Louis.
@druthjr91 @davidfrum Unholy mucus in a jar— 13th Doctor Fan ❤️❤️ (@13th Doctor Fan ❤️❤️)1510081765.0
Mayo is ubiquitous because it literally makes everything better.
@davidfrum Went on a high school date with a girl who dipped her fries in mayonnaise. Was all I needed to know - we had no future.— Patrick McGee (@Patrick McGee)1510071611.0
Some people found themselves questioning everything.
As a person who generally sides with science over popular or convenient opinion, the idea that science could prove that (delicious) mayonnaise is disgusting was disconcerting! Luckily, science did no such thing. Science proved that disgust exists and is likely a mechanism of survival. Also, that mayonnaise exists. That's all.Sometimes you've got to stand on your own for what you know to be true.
@davidfrum If it’s wrong to like mayonnaise, I don’t want to be right.— Christian Jensen (@Christian Jensen)1510065494.0
Mayonnaise is composed of very few ingredients, all of which have been scientifically proven to be delicious.*
via: Getty
*I made that up, but that doesn't mean it's not true. There are mayo imposters out there, and heavy-handed sandwich makers, and of course the food-borne illness risk that comes when foods that need refrigeration go without — and I think that these culprits are what give real mayonnaise a bad name. But the truth is that mayo brings a lot to the table.