The Best Responses to Cops Asking, 'Do You Know Why I Pulled You Over?' | 22 Words

If you just whipped out an illegal U-ie or floored it to make a yellow light, you know exactly why you've got red-and-blue lights flashing in your rearview. But sometimes, you get pulled over without knowing at all what you've done, and that can be terrifying. Maybe you broke a secret law that's going to get you thrown in the slammer. Or maybe you totally over-looked a regular ol' bit of bureaucracy that's going to cost you hundreds of dollars. (This is the one I'm guilty of — I have more tickets for expired tabs than I'd like to admit.)

But whether you've clearly broken a law or not, you know exactly what the cop pulling you over is going to ask when you roll down your window: "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Are they trying to trick you into a confession? Or are they just trying to be smug, essentially saying "I know something you don't know"? Either way, hearing that question is brutal.

Thankfully, the people internet is here to tell you the funniest ways to defuse the "do you know why I pulled you over?" question. Maybe you don't want to really use these retorts on real-life officers of the law, but it's sure fun to imagine.

Haha, classic.

"Because it’d be really difficult having this conversation while driving." - drdoom

Make the calculations fast.

A good rule of thumb is that the seriousness of your response should be directly proportional to the amount of drugs in your vehicle. - TheWitchOfSand

See if you can get them to take the blame.

I once got pulled over for speeding behind a cop. I told him that I noticed I was behind a police officer and assumed we were traveling at a safe speed. He said, “it’s on me this time," and I didn’t get a ticket. - thecatbeans

It should work...

"Depends how long you were following me." - cbusalex

Let's just get this cleared up right here.

"No, sir." That is the correct response. Even if you're doing 90 in a 15 with a kilo of coke strapped to the roof. "No, sir." They're fishing. And the question is either absurd or condescending, depending on how you look at it. - ph33randloathing

You get that from Community Chest, my man?

"This should clear up our little misunderstanding" as I hand them my get out of jail free card from my wallet. - averageredditcuck

This one's on both of us.

“Well if you don’t know sir, I’m afraid we’re both wasting our time." - RubyKitsune

Technically correct — the best kind of correct!

"MY BODY IS A VESSEL AS DEFINED BY MARITIME LAW." - TheAngryBrian

This will make them realize they've got an appointment and have to go, sorryyyyyy.

"Because the Lord guided you to me so I may save your soul. Have you heard of the Book of Mormon?" - concretebox

"Peace out!"

“I do" And then just drive off. - 2ezyo

Cover your bases.

"She was already dead when I found her!", before he can finish his sentence. - A_Tea_Daze

Get over here you big galoot.

A kiss? - As-It-Happens

Ya burnt.

"Do you know why I pulled you over?" "To sell me a ticket to the policeman's ball?" "We don't have balls." "I know." - five-oh-one

Lot of great '90s movies start out with a kid making a wish and somehow it comes true.

“Here it goes, I sped, I followed too closely, I ran a stop sign, I almost hit a Chevy, I sped some more, I failed to yield at a crosswalk, I sped some more, I changed lanes in the intersection, I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light, and speeding!" - Racing_in_the_street

Can I get a mulligan?

"What seems to be the officer, problem?" - tehvolcanic

Baffle them.

I think so, officer, but where are we going to get hot pants and a chicken at this hour? - Shoppers_Drug_Mart

Shame them away.

"I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!" - purplestationary6616

How cute.

"There you are! I've been waiting for you to pull me over all day." - Technical_Joker

They'll love the reference.

"Cuz I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low. Or do I look like a mind reader, sir? I don't know." - Fourty7shift

What do those things even run on? Leaves?

"You wanted to know how I got a Prius up to the speed limit?" I drive a Prius. It's about as powerful as a fart in a hurricane. - HeadlessFlyKing

Let's stop dancing around this, huh?

"Gotta make quota?" - Baul_Sachs

"I'm on the inside."

"Fred, you're blowing my cover." - Kleeeaaa

What's your return policy?

"I know I was speeding but to be fair my ex-wife married a cop and I thought you were trying to bring her back." - edmanet

A bold move.

"Because you got straight Cs in high school?" - HiFiHut

Good for six to eight players.

"Because you're looking for more people for your board game night and you thought I looked like a likely candidate? I have Pandemic AND Mysterium in my trunk right now!" - Jerzeem

This is your job.

"Because it would have been weird for a fireman or accountant to do it?" - scolfin

I'm the decider.

If they're on a bicycle, and you're in a car: "Because I let you?" - --Jester--

It's not you, it's me.

"I PULLED YOU OVER." Then laugh. - Blacklight_Fever

I use a special conditioner.

"My beard was so sexy you had to see it up close?" - crazykid01

I'm here for you, dude.

"Probably because you've been sitting here waiting to pull someone over all day. And honestly, I got here as fast as I could." - DJse7entyse7en Loved these? Stay tuned for moments the police realized they had the WRONG PERSON.