The Best Responses to Cops Asking, ‘Do You Know Why I Pulled You Over?’

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If you just whipped out an illegal U-ie or floored it to make a yellow light, you know exactly why you’ve got red-and-blue lights flashing in your rearview. But sometimes, you get pulled over without knowing at all what you’ve done, and that can be terrifying. Maybe you broke a secret law that’s going to get you thrown in the slammer. Or maybe you totally over-looked a regular ol’ bit of bureaucracy that’s going to cost you hundreds of dollars. (This is the one I’m guilty of — I have more tickets for expired tabs than I’d like to admit.)

But whether you’ve clearly broken a law or not, you know exactly what the cop pulling you over is going to ask when you roll down your window: “Do you know why I pulled you over?” Are they trying to trick you into a confession? Or are they just trying to be smug, essentially saying “I know something you don’t know”? Either way, hearing that question is brutal.

Thankfully, the people internet is here to tell you the funniest ways to defuse the “do you know why I pulled you over?” question. Maybe you don’t want to really use these retorts on real-life officers of the law, but it’s sure fun to imagine.

“Because it’d be really difficult having this conversation while driving.”drdoom

A good rule of thumb is that the seriousness of your response should be directly proportional to the amount of drugs in your vehicle.TheWitchOfSand

I once got pulled over for speeding behind a cop. I told him that I noticed I was behind a police officer and assumed we were traveling at a safe speed. He said, “it’s on me this time,” and I didn’t get a ticket.thecatbeans

“Depends how long you were following me.”cbusalex

“No, sir.” That is the correct response. Even if you’re doing 90 in a 15 with a kilo of coke strapped to the roof. “No, sir.” They’re fishing. And the question is either absurd or condescending, depending on how you look at it.ph33randloathing

“This should clear up our little misunderstanding” as I hand them my get out of jail free card from my wallet.averageredditcuck

“Well if you don’t know sir, I’m afraid we’re both wasting our time.”RubyKitsune

“MY BODY IS A VESSEL AS DEFINED BY MARITIME LAW.”TheAngryBrian

“Because the Lord guided you to me so I may save your soul. Have you heard of the Book of Mormon?”concretebox

“I do” And then just drive off.2ezyo

“She was already dead when I found her!”, before he can finish his sentence.A_Tea_Daze

A kiss?As-It-Happens

“Do you know why I pulled you over?” “To sell me a ticket to the policeman’s ball?” “We don’t have balls.” “I know.”five-oh-one

“Here it goes, I sped, I followed too closely, I ran a stop sign, I almost hit a Chevy, I sped some more, I failed to yield at a crosswalk, I sped some more, I changed lanes in the intersection, I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light, and speeding!”Racing_in_the_street

“What seems to be the officer, problem?”tehvolcanic

I think so, officer, but where are we going to get hot pants and a chicken at this hour?Shoppers_Drug_Mart

“I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!”purplestationary6616

“There you are! I’ve been waiting for you to pull me over all day.”Technical_Joker

“Cuz I’m young and I’m black and my hat’s real low. Or do I look like a mind reader, sir? I don’t know.”Fourty7shift

“You wanted to know how I got a Prius up to the speed limit?” I drive a Prius. It’s about as powerful as a fart in a hurricane.HeadlessFlyKing

“Gotta make quota?”Baul_Sachs

“Fred, you’re blowing my cover.”Kleeeaaa

“I know I was speeding but to be fair my ex-wife married a cop and I thought you were trying to bring her back.”edmanet

“Because you got straight Cs in high school?”HiFiHut

“Because you’re looking for more people for your board game night and you thought I looked like a likely candidate? I have Pandemic AND Mysterium in my trunk right now!”Jerzeem

This is your job.

“Because it would have been weird for a fireman or accountant to do it?”scolfin

If they’re on a bicycle, and you’re in a car: “Because I let you?” – –Jester–

“I PULLED YOU OVER.” Then laugh. – Blacklight_Fever

“My beard was so sexy you had to see it up close?”crazykid01

“Probably because you’ve been sitting here waiting to pull someone over all day. And honestly, I got here as fast as I could.”DJse7entyse7en Loved these? Stay tuned for moments the police realized they had the WRONG PERSON.