Do you have a certified "bad dog" on your hands? Well, first of all: all dogs are good. Human beings do not deserve how perfect dogs are and yet they were bestowed upon us and for that, we should be eternally grateful.
But, some dogs like to cause trouble. Some dogs dig holes, eat furniture, chase cats, jump fences and cause all kind of dog mischief. They think it is very fun even though humans think the opposite. The dogs are correct though, because dogs are perfect.
But if you do think you have a bad dog, we can bet they're not as bad as this pup who recently went viral on the Internet. Arwen, a kelpie and husky mix from Colorado, is extremely bad– her antics had captured the hearts of the internet because they are just so bad. But also kind of brilliant.
Please take a moment to meet Arwen, the very bad dog. Your life will be better for it.
A Tumblr user posted a hilarious thread about their very, very bad dog.
According to Gallusrostromegalus, Arwen was trained by prisoners as a part of rehab program.Gallusrostromegalus shared with the Internet: 1. She’s a mix of two extremely smart breeds 2. She’s a mix of two extremely energetic breeds 3. The inmates trained her to do lots of “Extracurriculars" like vertical leaps, how to climb chain-link fence, agility courses, physical-comedy type tricks because they finished teaching her the regular Service Dog Curriculum and wanted to keep working with her. 4. Due to said Extracurriculars, she doesn’t have any fear of heights, strangers, animals, or the nonsense of other dogs.
Arwen is a good girl who not only helped rehabilitate prisoners, but also works as a therapy dog.
Ok, so obviously Arwen is amazing. Except for the fact that she can also be very bad.Gallusrostromegalus shared an extensive list of the bad things Arwen has done. Get ready, folks.
In a post titled "A Short List of Shenanigans My Parent’s Dog Has Engaged In" Gallusrostromegalus listed her dog's worst moments.Gallusrostromegalus wrote: “I wonder if she can jump?" my dad asks the first five minutes we have her. She perks up at the word, and clears a six-foot fence form sitting on the ground. “Oh." Says dad. “Shit."
But that wasn't all...
via: ShutterstockLater that night she got up on the counter and ate three pounds of corned beef in roughly 68 second. This was considered part of the learning curve of having a new dog.
And she loves the toilet!I wake up at 4 AM to the sound of the toilet being flushed repeatedly in the hall bathroom, and assume plumbing is now possessed by angry and wasteful ghosts.
I get up to disconnect it and find her in the bathroom, standing to flush the bowl, then shoving her head in to drink the running water.
Oh, it's not over. Arwen is basically a genius.My parent’s don’t have AC, but they have one of those “fridge on top, pull-out-freezer below" fridges. Last summer, we were remarking that we might need to shave her so she didn’t get heatstroke, to which she looked up and made a disgusted noise at us. …Then got up, used the dishrag to pull open the freezer and climbed on top of the frozen vegetables, stretching out and sighing contentedly.
She used a dishtowel? Anyway, Arwen wasn't done causing trouble in the freezer.“Arwen," Mom began, but was interrupted by a loud ‘WHAAAaaaaarrr?" from Arwen. “Ok you can stay there for now but we’re getting you a kiddie pool so you have to get out when we get back. Don’t eat anything." She ate a bag of frozen green beans and farted for three days straight.
None of this is as bad as the next thing Arwen did.Took her walking along the lake with the long lead so she could sniff things to her hearts content. She went about shoving her head in the undergrowth, usually coming up with her head covered in leaves and pollen. Except for the bush where she came back out with a 7-foot Bull Snake wrapping itself around her head and neck, trying it’s best to strangle her before she can eat it. She immediately ran back to me, the parts of her face not occupied with the snake arranged in a gleeful expression of “Look! I found Snacks!"
ARWEN NO!I screamed, not immediately recognizing that it wasn’t a rattler, and fell, splitting my knee on a rock. The screaming made her let go of the snake, but I still had to grab her and wrestle the snake off her because it lacked the sense to just scuttle away. I finally got it lose from her, despite her best effort to continue trying to eat it and turned around to fling it off the trail...
Wait for it......And directly into the face of one of my 90-year-old neighbors who’d come out to see what the screaming and profanity was, making her collapse. I’m pretty sure being told “I accidentally threw a snake at my neighbor." was the highlight of that EMT’s day. Dottie was unharmed but she still doesn’t speak to me.
She's also a dog Houdini.
It took me a good heart-pounding five minutes to realize the overhead tether was going UP into the ancient silver maple and realized that...1. Arwen can apparently do something really weird with her shoulders where they pop out sideways, allowing her to bear-hug the tree and 2. climb a good 40 feet into the three to fight 3. A porcupine, which I didn’t even know LIVED out here.
Don't worry, the porcupine was safe.Fortunately, Porcupines weigh considerably less than Arwen and she couldn’t get a good enough foothold to get all the way up to it, but I still had to climb up there and lower her down, barking dog profanities at the porcupine the whole way.
Arwen also loves the finer things in life.My parents recently acquired a mechanized recliner which has been instrumental in mom’s hip surgery recovery. Except that Awen Also likes lounging on the furniture, and is more than capable of hitting a large, elder-friendly button with her paw. So now when she gets back from a walk or the dog park she makes a beeline for the living room, get in the recliner and pushes the button until it’s flat and stretches out in it.
My parents didn’t have a problem with this because she gets out of the chair when they ask her (Mom even tells her “Go get my chair ready" in winter because she does a good job pre-warming it), until last winter when Arwen taught my dog Charlie, another devoted couch animal how to do this.One afternoon there was a tremendous outburst for barking and snarling from the living room and we rushed in to find both dogs in the recliner, Charlie on the fully-reclined back and Arwen on the elevated seat and foot rest, bellowing at each other for control of the recliner, their movements having pitched it back to it’s two hind feet, the device swaying to and fro like a leather covered boat upon the high seas, a furry mutiny on board. Neither dog was willing to yield the plush throne, nor to listen to the humans yelling at them to knock it the hell off, until Arwen tackled the usurper, knocking him off and managing to cantaleiver the recliner clean over, flipping it into the hall, both dogs and all human miraculously unharmed. She still doesn’t let him sit in it.
She's so naughty!But Gallusrostromegalus says: I love her so much. How could you not love this furry genius? Unless maybe you are Dottie and had a snake thrown in your face.
You can read the original post here:
Gallusrostromegalus shared even MORE Arwen stories– as if we could ever have enough.Evening reblog with an additional Shenanigan I just remembered: One of the regulars at the dog park was an unfixed basset hound with an obnoxiously indifferent owner. “Brad" shows up pretty much to smoke weed and let “Bojangles" harass the other dogs, in spite of regular complaints about Bo starting fights and trying to mount every dog, leg, and toddler in sight.
One evening, Bo was particularly interested in Arwen, aggressively following her, nipping her heels and trying to mount her, even after her usual wolverine-like Snap’n’Snarl, which has tended to discourage unwanted suitors before.Brad was too high to notice, as usual, but mom knew that if Arwen actually bit Bo, Arwen would be the one in trouble and was trying to call her when Bo made yet another attempt and Arwen finally had it. Instead of rightfully tearing his face off, Arwen instead did what Mom described as “A Judo-style front-flip" that pulled Bo clean off the ground and threw him on his back, Arwen landing on her feet like a cat. Bo’s stubby little legs didn’t allow him to right himself before Arwen jumped on him, front paws slamming into his saggy basset balls, squatted over his face, and peed on him.
“ARWEN NO!" howled my mother as nearly everyone else present laughed, but having made her point, Arwen daintily got off Bo, and trotted to the gate, ready to go home.Bo yelped but got up and skulked away, only moderately bruised, cowering under the bench by Brad, who finally noticed something might be amiss. Mom remembers hearing “Dude, why is my dog all wet?" right as they were leaving. Apparently, nobody told him what happened, because Brad still brings Bo to the park, but Bo has much better manners now.
Arwen is the Queen of the Dog Park.
via: ShutterstockI love Arwen so much for standing up to that dog. But, that's not all she's done.