Every Episode of Black Mirror, Ranked

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The new season of Black Mirror is here. So we thought, what better way to celebrate than to take a trip down memory lane? We’re counting down to our favorite, most twisted, most watch-through-our-fingers, episodes of Black Mirror yet.

If you’re not caught up on Black Mirror, or just don’t watch it in general, don’t worry. This anthology series doesn’t need to be watched in order. In fact, there are some episodes you should outright skip – and we’re here to help you with that.

Season five promises three new episodes, starring the likes of Miley Cyrus, Anthony Mackie, and, surprisingly, Topher Grace. If you’re wondering why season five only consists of three episodes, blame “Bandersnatch,” Black Mirror‘s choose-your-own-adventure style episode that dropped late last year. Charlie Brooker told The Hollywood Reporter that creating “Bandersnatch” was like making four whole episodes.

But we’re not here to talk about season five just yet. We’re here for everything that came before that. So let’s jump into the rankings! Hopefully, your favorite is near the bottom of the page in and amongst our faves!

What a way to kick off this excellent series… This episode is unlike any other Black Mirror episode – and that’s a bad thing.

It just doesn’t feel like Black Mirror.

The “pig sex” episode, as it’s now known (by me), just feels like a normal story about something that could happen today, not in the near future. If there was a headline tomorrow that said “Trump Has Sex with Pig Because of Russian Extortion,” I wouldn’t be surprised. This episode feels like what would happen if those people from Nailed It! had to make a Black Mirror episode instead of a galaxy cake.

The helicopter parent’s wet dream… This episode aired right after “USS Callister” and wow, what a disappointment it was after one of the best episodes in the series.

Maybe this is the whole point of Black Mirror, but I honestly think that this episode serves to inspire helicopter parents, not deter them.

I can just imagine parents ten years from now tracking their kids’ every move and justifying it by saying, “well it’s not as bad as that Black Mirror episode”.

There was a “twist” in this episode of Black Mirror, but if you didn’t call it ahead of time, you were probably scrolling through Twitter or cooking dinner rather than paying attention because it was that obvious.

When drones attack! This episode just felt like another one of those “obvious” Black Mirror premises.

Anyone not expecting a “drones are scary” Black Mirror episode was kidding themselves.

At its best, Black Mirror surprises us, then terrifies us. This episode was all-terrify, with no surprise.

Sometimes, parodies of the American political system are so poignant that they hit home masterfully. This episode tried to write a nuanced story about politics using a magic marker. Dear Black Mirror, please stay away from parody from now on, okay?

I think that this episode could have been really interesting if any of the three sub-stories were told in full. Instead, we had three mini-episodes of Black Mirror, and the dots never really connected. Cohesively, this episode doesn’t really stand out, because there’s too much happening.

Hm. Usually the Black Mirror episodes that start this way knock it out of the park. Any time the audience has to catch up to the story, it feels worthwhile. But not with “White Bear”.

How many times have we seen the “bad guy is actually the good guy!” twist? I’m already tired of it. And that’s pretty much all that this episode offered outside of its central mystery.

I suppose this episode does well to redeem itself in its closing moments, but, on the whole, “Shut Up and Dance” takes too long to reveal its bad guys. Young Kenny finds himself doing the craziest tasks just to protect himself from a lewd video of himself getting posted online? Show the people the video! It’s not worth it.

“It’s Tinder, but Black Mirror!”. Oh, how I wish this episode was better. But it’s pretty much just that simple premise stretched out for over an hour without much more exploration.

Crocodile is right there on the cusp of greatness. Mia tries everything to stay within the little suburban Utopia that she’s created for herself. But an outstanding performance from Andrea Riseborough couldn’t quite save the absolutly bonkers plot of this episode that leaves viewers asking, “really, this?” time and time again.

Oh, “Bandersnatch”. How we all wanted you to be amazing.

Let’s get something straight. “Bandersnatch” is a good episode of Black Mirror.

Well, most of the time. Ultimately, while this episode tries something that’s never been done before on television, a majority of the “endings” come without the major satisfaction that we’ve come to know, and expect, from Black Mirror. And that’s coming from someone who spent all night finding every single gosh darn ending.

Bees!!! Okay, we’re in the home stretch here. “Hated in the Nation” is like one step away from being a Black Mirror great, but the episode ends before anything really crazy happens. I guess I just wanted to see more people get killed by bees.

This is the darkest Christmas special in television history. Apart from maybe the oft-forgotten Star Wars Christmas special. It’s twists on twists on twists and it’s great! Also, who doesn’t love Jon Hamm?

Okay, hear me out. This episode was over-hyped.

As great as “San Junipero” is, there are better Black Mirror episodes out there.

I think that the reason that people love it so much (myself included) is because it breaks the mold of most Black Mirror episodes (in a good way this time) and provides a sweet story about two people falling in love and ending sort of happily. But that doesn’t make it any better than these next f-you-up episodes that we’re about to talk about.

This is the scariest episode of Black Mirror ever in terms of raw horror. Directed by Dan Trachtenberg (of 10 Cloverfield Lane), “Playtest” is a literal hour-long nightmare. And it works.

Okay, can we talk about how this episode predicted the future? I know a lot of Black Mirror episodes aim to do this in a way, but there’s actually a social merit system being implemented by the Chinese government right now and we should all be terrified.

In fact, that episode just so happens to be our number four!

Okay. Bryce Dallas Howard stars in an episode directed by Joe Wright (Pride & Prejudice, Atonement, Anna Karenina) and written by Mike Schur (The Office, Parks & Rec, Brooklyn 99) and Rashida Jones (Parks & Rec, The Social Network). That’s an insane amount of talent, and it shows.

Oh hello, Star Trek fans.

It’s got humor, it’s got adventure, it’s got heartbreak, it’s got the creepiest protagonist ever. I hated every second of watching it – like any good episode of Black Mirror will make you do.

Nope. No. Just no. This is the first episode of Black Mirror that I watched, and it messed with me in the most specific way.

Just… *Italian chef’s kiss*. It’s so horrifying that I wanted to break up with my girlfriend for suggesting that I watch it… And also to prevent this inevitable reality from happening to us. We are no longer together.

I hate this episode the most, and that’s why it’s number one.

This story just rips your heart out and puts an artificial, twisted, robotic one in its place – a new heart that’s not quite the same as the old one, but that’s pretty darn close. Anyone who’s ever lost someone that they loved can instantly empathize with Haley Atwell’s amazing character. Black Mirror at its best intersects technology with impossible moral dilemmas and puts its characters in heartbreaking situations. And this is that conceit at its best.