There’s quite literally no public scenario where a fart is deemed acceptable.
Some men may argue that it’s funny, or that it’s just natural. They are, however, inadvertently putting a red flag above their head to make sure everyone knows that they are bad people.
There are times when a burst of flatulence can’t be helped though. The internet is full of stories about people on first dates who may have fallen on the bad side of a meal that causes some unwanted gas, and sadly there’s never been a solution to avoid such an embarrassing occurrence. Well, until now, that is!
In 3500 B.C, the first wheel was created, in around 1857 Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, 1983 saw what was considered the birth of the internet; and now, in 2021, the fart vacuum is among us. What a time to be alive.
No more will first daters, office workers, or cinema patrons be forced to conceal their smell. No longer will people sit uncomfortably waiting for that opportune moment to let it go. Never again will a smell enter the air that causes everyone to leave.
You didn’t ask for it, but the people at FartVac have given you it anyway. This contraption works by filtering out your smell with a carbon filter.
The description that the trailblazing folk who created the FartVac give is as follows: “FartVac is the world’s first fart vacuum and filtering system.
“Using a hand-activated air pump and an activated carbon filter, FartVac reduces the stench of flatulence. You may think this is but a novelty toy, made for the childish, but you’d be wrong.”
The description continues: “It is time to align norms and manners to what is healthy! By taking responsibility and trying to reduce your fart smells, you can now fart without shame–no more pain while fighting nature and holding in gas.
“Join the proud movement to embrace your body’s natural functions.”
You also shouldn’t buy into the premise that this is a shoddy piece of kit. It’s made using sturdy materials and there’s technically some ‘science’ behind the contraption. Focus up now people, we’re entering new realms of knowledge.
“FartVac removes the fart gas under your clothing and filters it with activated carbon technology,” the website explains, “Typically, farts are trapped by our clothing and don’t escape the fibers for about 5 seconds. This is the time when FartVac can remove and filter them.”
For those questioning it, there is no insertion involved *shudders*. The nozzle simply needs to be down your pants in order to filter the stank.
The company is also claiming to use the same technology as NASA does, to remove smells on board their space crafts.
“NASA uses activated carbon for odor and impurification filtration, so we know the technology is sound,” they claim.
They do, however, go on to note that there is no sure-fire guarantee that the vacuum will soak up all of the user’s smell. In which case a diet change is advised.
The handy device will set you back $9.99, though can you really put a value on this?