The Weirdest, Funniest Ways to Sign an Email

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Ending an email is always sort of a weird experience. Do you just write your name? Because they saw your email address, so they know who’s sending it. Do you just skip the ending altogether? That seems so abrupt, and maybe even a little passive-aggressive. Do you add a little farewell, something like “As always, forever yours,” like it was an actual letter? Well, that? That’s just kind of odd.

But it’s not even close to the weirdest way you could end your email, as Twitter has shown with the hashtag #OddWaysToEndAnEmail. They’re listing all the truly bananas ways they’ve either ended emails of their own or seen emails ended. Of course, some of the respondents are making up odd ways to end emails, which are every bit as funny as the real ones.

Check out these odd ways to end an email, and use them as a “what not to do” checklist next time you’re struggling to find a way to end your digital correspondence.

There’s a great episode of The Sopranos where Tony’s therapist Dr. Melfi runs into him at a restaurant and, as she’s leaving, goes “toodles!” and is so ashamed she goes to therapy herself. The point is, this is such an embarrassing end to an email that you’d have to go to therapy yourself.

Maybe this is a problem unto itself, but as a society, we’re trained not to suddenly break into dance.

Truly haunting. Jeffrey surely lived the rest of his life, wondering who sent that email and if there was anything he could have done.

Obviously “I’m standing behind you” would be a creepy way to end an email, but to be so flippant about it, as though it’s something ,i>so normal to be standing behind someone when you email them? That tells you this email was written by a sociopath.

Listen, movies — which cost millions of dollars and years to make — get to end with “the end.” Emails — which you dash out in seconds just to get them done with — do not deserve a “the end.”

Putting that “sincerely” in quotes sure makes it seem like you’re making sarcastic finger quotes, doesn’t it?

Okay, but if they didn’t get– hold on– let me just– how would they know– if they didn’t– aagggh this email hurts my brain.

You only type out an “lmao” when something is really funny, so I suppose seeing an email with this email would be– oh what’s the word. Devastating? Yes, it’s devastating.

Chill out with that flowery, theatrical language there pal. We’re sending emails, not making Bridge Over the River Kwai.

Obviously no student wants to touch their teacher, but honestly? No student wants to stay with their teacher either. This is a failure of an email sign-off in two respects.

Listen, I’m not above copy/ pasting pre-written text that we end up sending all the time into an email, but the most important part is scanning for the areas where you’ve got to pop in the information that makes your recipient think you actually took the time to write them an email, you know what I mean?

“Okay Bob, I know I didn’t get those payroll reports in by Tuesday like you wanted, but can you please stop saying you’re going to use your specific skill-set to find and kill me?”

Obvious SNL references aside, asking someone to say hi to their mother on your behalf used to be kind of nice. But today? It comes off so weird. Like, I don’t want to say hi to my mother — why would you want to say hi to my mother?

We’ve all got that one piece of pop culture that love so much that our bosses wouldn’t mind if we arbitrarily ended our emails by proclaiming that love. For this doctor, it’s The Fonz. For me, it’s the TV show Lost. Incidentally, the doctor from this tweet plays a dentist on Lost.

If you’re going to end an email with a plug for your YouTube channel, do it confidently! Be proud of what you’ve made! That’s content, baby!

In medieval times, using a wax seal would not only prove the identity of the sender, but also that the letter had not been tampered with in delivery. It was the old-fashioned version of a CAPTCHA asking you to prove you’re not a robot.

You know who does finger guns? Chilled-out dudes and dudettes. Take an email ending with finger guns as a sign that, hey, you’re pretty chill yourself.

Okay, we’ve already established that it’s creepy as hell to make people think you’re sending them emails in the same room. But it’s ten times more creepy to tell them that you’re looking at an eight-legged beast invading their personal space.

I know my bedroom blinds are open! I opened them in the hopes that someone sending me an email would see my totally ripped post-workout bod!

Sure, some emails need attached pictures, but here, in the year 2019? No one needs to send a picture of former Vice President Dick Cheney. He’s just not coming up in inter-office communications like he used to in 1999-2008.

What’s especially scary about this email signature is that my mom passed away two years ago on this very day…

Feels like a lot of work to just not die.

Can you not burden me with curses over email, Tom? I’m already up to my eyes filing these payroll reports!

The whole kingdom? Tight.

I’m pretty confident you’re only supposed to say this phrase to God, but if you send it at the end of an email, the kingdom, the power, and the glory goes to whoever you sent it to, forever and ever. Sorry, that’s just the rules.

It’d be very fun and folksy to end an email to your boss by implying that you’re old and don’t get the newfangled computer-machines, but don’t expect to ever get promoted again. It’s a fast-moving, technology-based world, baby, and the olds are gettin’ left behind.

This is an especially difficult email ending if the person you’ve been sending it to has been saving up proofs of purchase from their Ovaltine for months to send in and receive an email from you.

Uncle Eric sure brings the doom-and-gloom, huh? And what exactly is nearing its end? Bojack Horseman? Because I knew that — they already announced this was the final season.

If I’m in the parking lot, it means I’m heading home for the day. To interrupt me then is to keep me longer at work. And that’s just cruel.

I’ve sent probably four emails in my entire life that I didn’t want to end this way.

Of course, this would be an odd way to end an email, but I’m not gonna lie — I wish more emails I got ended with someone telling me they loved me.

And finally, this is the oddest way to end an email — by revealing you are slavishly devoted to your mother or — even worse — your wife who you refer to as “mother.” (We have a very odd Vice President, guys.) Think these are funny? Check out people’s weirdest reasons to get married!