Get Your Lover a Savory Pickle Bouquet This Valentine's Day | 22 Words

The best day of the year has nearly arrived! No, it's not the day you get your tax refund. It's Valentine's Day! Wait, do you mean to tell me that you actually don't LIKE this blessed holiday? I kid, I kid. I get that most people dread this time of year. And I can't say that I really blame them. It is, after all, pretty much just a made-up commercialized holiday meant to stress out people in relationships and shame the people who aren't. (If you're single and want to do something awesomely petty, you can name a cockroach after your ex this February 14th. Just FYI.)

If your significant other isn't really into the whole pink and red, flowers and chocolates, naked babies shooting heart-shaped arrows at people thing, it can be hard to come up with the perfect way to show your unending love for them. Until now, that is. V-Day just got a whole lot more delicious, thanks to a pickle distributor in Boston, Massachusetts.

Hey, lovebirds! Guess what day is just around the corner!

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That's right! It's Valentine's Day, the only holiday of the year that forces people in a relationship to buy overpriced candy and flowers for their significant others and single people to take a good, hard look at their lives while weeping into a pint of Ben & Jerry's. Or, it makes them REALLY happy to be single. One of the two.

Even if you're currently in a meaningful and fulfilling relationship, V-Day can be a pretty big drag.

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There's so much pressure to buy your loved one the perfect gift, and if you somehow miss the mark and buy them something that doesn't make them squeal with delight it proves that your love is a lie and your relationship is doomed.

So, what are your options?

You could go the traditional route, with some striking red roses arranged, for some reason, in what looks like one of those mini garbage cans you sometimes find in hotel bathrooms.

But what about if your beloved isn't into roses?

This tasteful teddy bear combines the sweet innocence of youth with a sentiment that you've always been meaning to say to your soulmate but somehow could never find the right words.

What about if your sweetie prefers something a bit more sweet?

Chocolate-covered strawberries are a classic option that you'd have to be crazy not to be wooed by. Unless you're horribly allergic to strawberries, in which case you'd simply go into anaphylactic shock. Who wouldn't want to spend the most romantic day of the year in the emergency room?

Another common dilemma: Your significant other HATES all the boring, been-there-done-that Valentine's Day gifts and requires something much more extra.

Thankfully, Walmart has now started selling these Reese's bouquets, which replace stupid, pointless flowers with melt-in-your-mouth peanut butter enveloped in rich, delectable chocolate. I may or may not plan on buying one of these for myself this year and hiding it in the bathroom closet so my husband won't find it.

What's that? Your significant other prefers savory over sweet? You're in luck!

Pizza bouquets are now a thing! And yes, the woman in this photo is using this as her wedding bouquet (BRILLIANT) but why couldn't you bequeath one of these saucy sentiments to your #1 pizza lover on Valentine's Day?

Okay, okay. So your partner doesn't want something so messy. I've gotta say, we're really running out of options here...

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Hold on, I may have one more trick up my sleeve. Does your significant other happen to love pickles, by any chance?

Well, you're in luck!

A Boston pickle company recently announced that they would be selling a new kind of bouquet this February 14th. And it's exactly what your brine-obsessed beau has been dreaming of.

I present to you: The Pickle Bouquet.

Grillo's Pickles crafted this beautiful creation as an alternative to all those tacky and sugar-loaded flower-and-chocolate gifts that are a V-Day staple. The owner of the company talked to Today.com about how the Pickle Bouquet came to be.

“Not only is a pickle bouquet more beautiful than a dozen red roses, and healthier than a standard box of chocolate, it’s also far more creative," said Grillo’s founder and CEO Travis Grillo.

“Grillo’s Hot Italian Dill pickles make it easy for consumers to spice things up with their hottie, while the brand’s Bread & Butter pickles offer a low-cal treat for sweeties nationwide." Wow!

The bouquet was inspired by the very recipe they use to make their brine, which just so happens to be 100 years old.

It includes cucumbers, salt, dill, garlic, water, grape leaves and vinegar, which is why the bouquet is loaded with fresh garlic cloves.

So if your honey wants a fragrant bouquet this Valentine's Day, they're GETTING fragrant bouquet.

Grillo's clearly knows their customer base pretty well at this point.

"We know there are a lot of pickle lovers out there that would love nothing more than to get a Valentine’s Day gift loaded with their favorite snack," said Grillo.

Not surprisingly, pickle fans are going pretty nuts about this idea.

As a pickle devotee myself (yes, I was one of those kids that drank pickle juice straight from the jar), this idea excites me to no end. Finally, a bouquet to fit MY needs!

This person had an extreme yet totally relatable reaction to this historic news.

Sure, you may be thinking to yourself that threatening to "riot" is a bit of an overreaction, but let's not forget all the years of pickle-less Valentine's Days that we've had to suffer through until now.

In fact, I dare say that pickle bouquets should replace all flower bouquets from now on.

And this person clearly agrees with me. How do I start a petition to make this happen? Does anyone know how to make a GoFundMe page?

Here are some of the many reasons why pickle bouquets are far superior to normal bouquets:

  1. Pickles taste much better than flowers.
  2. Flowers wilt WAY faster than pickles do.
  3. A high-salt diet is good for you. (This information has not been proven by the FDA.)

Some people, however, were less than thrilled with this idea.

It's pretty convenient that this person's response was simply "nope" instead of citing their sources as to why this is somehow not the best idea to come out of the past century. I'd be willing to have an organized debate with this naysayer just to see the look on his or her face when I prove them wrong.

But what do you do if you don't live in the Boston area?

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The generous folks over at Grillo's broke it down step by step so you can create your own pickle bouquet from the comfort of your own home. Bless you, Grillo's.

First, pick your pickles.

Grillo's recommends switching things up by incorporating a variety of flavors, such as dill, bread-and-butter, hot chips, and an assortment of both spears and whole pickles to give it some depth.

Next, get your tools ready.

Slowly and carefully impale each pickle with a bamboo kebab skewer. This will create the "stem," allowing you to gather them together into the perfect bouquet.

Next, pick your vase.

You're going to want to pick something sturdy, since pickles are much heavier than flowers, but also beautiful enough to compliment the stunning finished product. Your great-great-Grandmother's antique crystal vase ought to do it.

Now, grab some toothpicks.

Use as many of these as you'd like to add some extra touches to your bouquets, such as pickle chips or baby pickles. Pardon me a moment while I mop up all this drool...

And lastly, get to garnishing!

The number of garnishes for a bouquet like this are basically endless. Does your boo like things spicy? Throw on some hot peppers!

Is your special someone all about that cheese?

Throw on some cheese cubes! Or, better yet, some fried cheese curds!

Does he or she eat so much bacon that you're starting to get a bit concerned about their cholesterol levels?

Then why not fry some up, wrap them into beautiful bacon roses, and add them to the mix! I've never once cried while receiving a dozen roses, but a pickle bouquet with bacon rosettes might just be the thing to change that. It's almost too beautiful to imagine.

Here's hoping you're now feeling a bit more prepared about Valentine's Day this year.

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There are options beyond the basic schmaltzy V-Day flowers, bears and chocolates, and I, for one, am pretty darn excited about this new food-based bouquet trend that seems to be catching on.

Whatever you end up doing this February 14th, just put your whole heart into it.

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It's not like people remember a bad V-Day gift for the rest of their life and insist on repeatedly bringing it up every year in front of friends and family members, right? I mean, sure, I like to casually bring up the year my husband wrote "I LUV U" on a Wendy's takeout bag for Valentine's Day, but that's mostly just a joke.

Oh, and for all of the pickle-loving singles out there, don't let the V-Day blues get you down.

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Now that the good people at Grillo's have walked you through the steps of creating your very own pickle bouquet, I insist that you make one and treat yo' self with it.

Because Valentine's Day should be about love.

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The love between two people AND the love between a person and a pickle. That's just the kind of world I want to live in.