A man has taken to Reddit to ask if he’s the “a**hole” for not letting his parents be part of his son’s life after they secretly tested his DNA to see if the baby was really his…
The dad in question opened up about the difficulties he’s had with his parents over the years ever since he started dating his now-wife.
According to the Reddit user, his parents have never approved of their relationship, and feel his wife is only with him to “achieve her American dream,” which he thinks is racist and was understandably “very offended by their assumption.”
The man started out his post by saying: “I met my wife Sonya at a restaurant where she worked as a waitress. It took me a while to finally be her boyfriend. I introduced her to my parents and they voiced out their disapproval after meeting her.”
He then admitted that it was his parents’ disapproval of her that lead them to elope together to get married. Due to this, he lost contact with his parents until his wife gave birth to their first child, Garreth, 2 years later. But they had some concerns about whether the child was actually blood-related.
The dad then revealed that his mom slipped up and let out that they’d done something unforgivable after spending time with his son…
He explained: “My parents visit us regularly and one day while dad and mom are playing with Garreth mom said something along the lines of ‘aren’t you the cutest baby ever? I am so glad to confirm you are indeed my grandson.’ She didn’t know I was around because she looked startled when I said ‘what was that supposed to mean?'”
He continued: “Mom sat me down and apologized first before telling me that they had Garreth’s DNA tested to make sure that he’s mine. I was speechless for a moment and before I blew up from anger I told dad to give me my son and they better leave before I lose whatever respect I had left for them. My mom was very apologetic and said it’s because they don’t trust my wife and that our son looks nothing like me.”
“I didn’t tell my wife about the whole DNA test thing until after 2 weeks when she asked why mom and dad didn’t visit anymore,” he explained. “I told her everything as I know I cannot keep a secret from her. She started crying and it broke my heart. I know how much she tried to win my parents’ approval and what I told her was like a slap across her face.
“That night she told me that she can no longer let my parents into our child’s life and I agreed with her. When mom called to ask when they can visit again, I told them they are no longer welcome in our son’s life. Mom called my dad and I told him the same thing. He was livid, he called me ungrateful and cruel. He also said a few choice words about my wife which angered me more.”
His dad hung up before he could say any more.
At the end of his post, he asked other Reddit users whether he was in the wrong for not letting them have access to his son…
One person wrote: “A relationship with loving, decent grandparents can benefit a child. A relationship with toxic, racist grandparents can harm a child. Part of parenting is protecting your child from harmful people, even if there is a familial/genetic connection.”
While another commented: “Going to join the chorus here and say NTA 100%. Your poor wife’s reaction to learning how your parents behaved was heartbreaking to read. I can’t even imagine how much that hurt her. You are doing absolutely the right thing for your family, especially since your mother doubled down. Their racism would only wind up hurting your son, too.”
What do you think?