Nobody wants to be banned from a place (well, usually). But sometimes, awkward moments just gets the better of us! Other times, it's somebody else who makes the encounter awkward. Either way, after a cringe-worthy exchange we tend to avoid the place that it happened. It's just instinct, right? You process the incredibly awkward shopping moment and then leave immediately.
But at the very least, those embarrassing stories are sure to entertain other people! And that's why a flock of Redditors is sharing their best (worst) "guess I can't shop there again" moments. Are you ready for all the hilarity and secondhand embarrassment? Then keep scrolling and check out these wild awkward shopping moments!
Sorry, Tiffany.Went to a pizza place to pick up an order. Was handed the food and said, "Thank you, sir." The response was "my name's Tiffany." Had to send my wife in to get the food until Tiffany didn't work there anymore. -Bearfan001
Bagel shop drama!
I used to go to a bagel store near my work pretty often, maybe once a week or so. Family-owned shop, with the dad, uncle, mom, etc all working there, as well as the owner's daughter during the summer. I was always pretty friendly to everyone and talked to the whole family as we were both from NY but lived in the south now.-Devinlee425
And then, this happened.
Well one time after getting a sandwich to go and getting back to the office, I saw the daughter (who was maybe only a few years younger than me) had written her number on the to-go container, which was great except I was happily engaged at the time. So later that week I went back, got lunch, and let her know I was flattered but I was in a relationship, and she was very polite and we just kind of moved on.-Devinlee425
Way to alienate the customer!The next week, I went back in again, the daughter wasn't working but when I went to order the whole family started grilling me on why I wouldn't date their daughter, accusing me of making up my fiancee, saying I led her on and broke her heart (again, we had never had any conversations more intimate than "how's school, oh wow the weather is hot today, yeah I miss NY sometimes too hahaha"). Then they asked how I was going to make it up to her, at which point I kind of slowly started leaving and told them I wasn't sure but I will think of something...and have never returned since. -Devinlee425
It takes a minute to adjust to a full gym!
I got a gym membership for the first time recently. A lot of the machines are pretty self-explanatory, but I’ve never used a lot of them so I have no idea what I’m doing. So a few weeks ago I’m trying out the endless stair machine and in front of me is a guy on a machine working his arms, like making circular pedaling motions. I thought, huh, I could do my arms too. So I take the machine next to his, set the timer for 10 minutes, just circling away. I finish my 10 minutes and look down by the seat to see handles.-rubywolf27
It was a leg machine. I sat there for 10 minutes in front of the entire gym, god and everybody circling my arms like a lunatic.
I mean, I’m still going back because I paid for it, but I’m not going to look anyone in the eye there ever again.-rubywolf27
Kids don't really have "filters."
Not a store, but a public library. We're at the counter, and the librarian is scanning the books we've selected. She was… generously sized.
My little brother, 4 or 5 at the time, tugs my mom down to whisper something in her ear. He was rather new to the concept of whispering. He put his hand up to shield his lips from the librarian. Despite all this, he says -- about the librarian -- at standard speaking volume:
...I really hope that the boy learned from his mistakes.
Mom tried to play it off by saying something akin to "he thinks it's okay to say it to others 'cause he says it to me".
But my mom's not fat. It did not work.
We used to go there every day when my mom didn't want to have to hire a babysitter to watch us during the summer. She'd bring us to her office, and let us walk across the street to the public library to play games on their Windows-Vista PCs, or just read books. She'd always come to pick us up when she was done with work.
She started looking for babysitters soon after.-Dickcheese_McDoogles
I feel bad for whoever had to clean up.Back when I was getting married I was sick as a dog and my soon-to-be bride insisted we go shopping for the wedding invites. Went into this pretty higher-end shop and really felt ill (and not just at the prices). Asked one of the workers if they had a restroom I could use. Long story short: clogged the toilet and they had no plunger to fix it with. Even though I only flushed once the toilet kept running and it started to overflow. Rushed out, closed the door, grabbed my bride by the arm and just said: "we gotta go". -Lytnin
Don't let them see you!
I was with a group of friends in a very quiet store. We were slowly leaving one by one through the double glass doors. One of them was closed and the other stayed open. I somehow thought the closed door was opened and vice versa, so I walked smack into the middle of the closed glass door. My face was imprinted on it. (I guess my face was very oily.) My friends and the shop keeper came rushing to see if I was ok. Then all marveled at my squashed face imprint. I left quickly...
Every time I walk past that shop I make sure I am looking down or at the other side in case the staff recognizes my face.-frog_at_well_bottom
Ah, misunderstandings.While at the till at the convenience store paying for my lunch the girl behind the counter asked if I wanted to go for a drink. Being married I made my apologies hastily pointing to the ring on my fingers, to which she replied, that my lunch was a meal deal and would be cheaper with the drink... -BattlemageBobba
Gimme five, bro!
My girlfriend fist-bumped the clerk when he was actually reaching to grab a paper we had just signed.
Anyway, we don't go to that Tire Kingdom anymore.-Batkratos
Just in case, don't go on first dates at your favorite restaurant.Went on a first date with this girl to a new restaurant in town. She proceeded to get sloppy drunk and made a huge scene. From the classic could not control the volume of her voice to insisting on trying to show me and some other gentleman nearby what kind of underwear she had on while loudly insisting that’s she’s a “good girl" though. The server we had seemed to get that I was not a willing part of this but I was so mortified there’s no way I’d ever go back. -Col_Walter_Tits
There's a reason people tend to stay home when sick.
Do barbershops count?
Decided to get a haircut whilst having a cold. Sneeze and farted at the same time. Never went back.-kevn3000
This is...HORRIFYING.Oh god, I finally have a reason to share this story. One of the first jobs I had, I approached my boss in his office to discuss a report. As I was standing near him (he was sitting in his chair reading the file on his desk), I felt a sneeze come on. Knowing that I didn’t have time to grab a tissue, I just turned away from him. However, the sneeze held off but the gas in my stomach did not. I crop dusted the poor man. Embarrassed, I whipped my body back around to face him and the centripetal force of my motion must have knocked my sinuses loose. I sneezed upon completing the spin but was in too much shock to cover my face. I gave my boss both an aura of noxious odor and mucus spewed across his face. -T-R-Y
Less embarrassing for the kid, more so for the father!
I peed all over the floor of a toy store when I was a toddler. My poor dad was mortified, but the staff was very nice about it.
The store's closed now, which really sucks. I don't think I actually remember the name of the place.-SendEldritchHorrors
One child's dark Pizzeria Uno secret:
When I was a kid, my family went to a Pizzeria Uno and before the food came I went to inspect the plumbing.
They had those sinks where you press down on the knob and the water would flow, with the knob slowly raising back up before it would turn off after 20 seconds.
I used my fist and hit the top of the knob and the thing just popped off and a huge geyser of water was erupting nonstop. Me and another kid were in there, we looked at each other and just bolted from the bathroom.-brp
The story gets better.
I got back to my seat and just sat there silent. Then my mom went to use the bathroom, and when she came back she told us this story of how there was a pool in the bathroom hallway and the manager and an employee were in the men's room slipping and sliding trying to shutoff the water.
My whole family was laughing at the story, but I just sat there silent. They asked me what's wrong and I told them it was me that did it.
They never fail to mention it every time we drive past a Pizzeria Uno, even now 20 years later. I've never stepped foot in one since then.-brp
Thank goodness for chill employees!I was in a souvenir shop in London England, with all these knicknacks and whatnot. I bumped a shelf that had a bunch of models of Big Ben, and like 6 or 7 of them fell off the shelf and broke. I offered to pay for them, but the employees blew it off. I guess minimum wage workers don't care enough about their actual company policy, thankfully. I was grateful, and now I will never return to that particular store. -Girl-send-a-butt-pic
Oof. LOUD.I sat on a Target shelf and the entire row of shelves crashed down onto the ground. -YoungConor
It's an accidental coffee-toss!I'm at a coffee shop, have a glass of coffee in front of me, filled to the top. It's almost overflowing. I raise my hand to get the waitress' attention because I want to order something else. I accidentally wack the glass, this sends it flying across the room where it hits the waitress on the thigh and gets coffee absolutely everywhere. Felt bad, so I left and never went back. -internetmexican
Don't sweat it!I used to go to the same haircut place since I was in kindergarten until I was in my teens. One day I go for a haircut and get this new, fairly attractive woman. As she's starting I start to sweat. Now sometimes when I was younger my head would get really hot and my head would sweat when I was in put on the spot sometimes (anxiety I guess, no idea, but it's mostly gone away thankfully). Usually, a few drops of sweat will roll down my face when this happens, but not today. It was like someone was standing over me slowly pouring a bottle of water slowly over my head. It just kept going and going. -greenlavitz
Paying compliments is a skill...that not everyone has.Eventually, the girl mentions "wow, you must be really hot". I'm already very nervous and blurt out the first thing that pops into my head, "Yeah, it must be because you're pretty. I'm not sure why this is happening, you're pretty but it's not like you're that pretty". So pretty much as soon as the last words are leaving my mouth I start asking myself, why in God's name would you say that? Now I'm even more embarrassed and I have to sit through a haircut feeling like an idiot, a drippy wet idiot. I spent the rest of the haircut praying for it to be done quickly or for a meteor to come through the ceiling and put me out of my misery. The girl handled the rest of the haircut like a god damn pro, no idea why she didn't just kick me out. She finished, I paid, gave her a huge tip, and now I drive farther to get my haircut done somewhere else. -greenlavitz
Common sense comes with age.
You know how in department stores when they have one of those display bathrooms they have that piece of plexiglass that goes across the toilet that says something along the lines of "Not a real toilet. Don't be an idiot and pee in this"?
Those barriers didn't exist in the 80's when I was a young kid. Mom looked up and saw me with my panties off, holding my dress above my waist and sprinting for the toilet. She did not catch me in time.-mmtmtptvboayani
Accidental shoplifting?I walked into a shop near my house, picked up a six pack, and walked straight out the door again (well, until I was stopped by security). I was so sure that I had paid for that beer, but my friends confirmed that I had not. -CaptainEarlobe
Agree to disagree.
I got kicked out of a bar because I insulted the bartender for her inability to properly read my very valid ID when I was 21. She said "you should get a new ID" and I said "you should get new glasses".
Then she told me to finish my drink and leave.-ikkiestmikk
Okay, this is messed up.A guy at a collectibles store accused me of stealing a 25 cent rubber Statue of Liberty figurine when I was 12. I argued with him for thirty minutes and then he showed me the security camera footage of me looking at the figurine. When I pointed out that the video didn't actually show me taking it, he said "The cameras DON'T CATCH EVERYTHING!!!" and made me turn out my pockets and show him everything in my wallet to make sure I didn't have it. When he saw I didn't have it, he accused me of throwing it in the garbage because I knew I was gonna get caught. I have never been back. -Vord_Loldemort_7
How to cause a scene in a grocery store:
Grocery store was packed for a holiday weekend. I was checking out at the self-checkouts since the lines for the actual lanes were 10 people deep, though there was a big line for the self-checkouts too. But since most everyone only had a few items it was moving a lot faster. Still, lot of people gathered there.
I had a glass bottle of something, I think salsa, and as I'm scanning something else it falls out of the cart through the leg holes where little kids can sit. Shatters on the floor. Glass goes everywhere. Salsa goes everywhere. I heard it break but had no idea it had anything to do with me because I was busy scanning. Then I saw the huge mess.-BartolosSweatSocks
Not everybody understands sarcasm.The girl working there couldn't have been nicer and quickly got a broom and mop to clean everything up. But by the reactions of the people around me, you would think I'd just pulled my pants down at church. This woman right next to me made that tongue click of disapproval and was shaking her head at me and I went "yeah lady cause I did it on purpose" in a soft, calm, sarcastic voice. -BartolosSweatSocks
She started it!
But the manager, who'd flown into action as soon as this happened, was like "SIR THERE'S NO NEED TO BE HOSTILE" at the top of his lungs. I then noticed that the mess was just as close to the woman as it was to me and I loudly said: "WELL SHE SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL, LOOK AT THIS MESS" and grabbed my stuff and left.
My thought was that the mass of people waiting in line for the self-checkouts might not know who did it, and so hopefully they'd now think it was her. And maybe she would get the scorn that she and others closer had directed at me. But I have no idea if it worked. Maybe they all started laughing at me for such a pathetic comeback. So between that, not wanting to chance seeing that woman again, and probably being flagged as a hostile customer the next time I walk in, I stopped going to that store.-BartolosSweatSocks Share all of the hilarious cringe with your friends!