This Is the WORST Possible Way To Kill a Spider

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People joke around a lot about burning down the house. Especially on the internet. Too messy? Burn it down. Snake in your toilet? BURN IT DOWN! And, last but not least: spider sighting in the house? Burn it to the ground and never look back. But these are just … jokes.

Turns out, not everyone knows that.

We try to trap them, to remove them, to kill them. And 97% of the time* these efforts result in the spider still escaping, followed by us screaming and jumping around spastically. *Completely made up statistic, but it feels right.

You hit it and it multiplies? What fresh hell is this?? So, we joke: burn it down. Seems like the only reasonable response to spiders sometimes.

There are few things we all agree on. Spiders being exceptionally unnerving is one of them. (This is when those weirdos who let spiders crawl on their faces speak up about how nice spiders are. NOPE.)

As much as we might want to torch any place in which we find a spider, most of us don’t actually go that far. “Burn it down” is just a joke. A way to express how completely grossed out spiders make us feel. We all know that. Right?

No. We don’t all know that.

A family in Tuscon is now without a home because they saw a used a blowtorch to deal with spiders. A blowtorch. Will a blowtorch destroy a spider? Possibly. Will a blowtorch destroy your house? Definitely. Today’s PSA: Don’t actually burn your house down. Even if you do see a spider.