There are lights on every house, that one weird radio station is now playing Christmas music 24/7, and your bank account balance is about to reach an all-time low. You know what this means: The holiday season is officially upon us. No matter which holiday you celebrate this winter, no matter what traditions you follow, there are some universal experiences that we all recognize this time of year.
The songs are ubiquitous, the decorations are too, and you know what? So is that feeling of going back to work on January 2nd, when you're ready for a brand new beginning but then you get to your desk and think, "Huh, I guess it's just going to be the same." We all feel these same things around this time of year. So it's a comfort to read and laugh at tweets about the holidays because no matter your personal experience, you get it. So happy holidays have a laugh at these tweets, and sorry about your awkward family get-together.
It's Christmastime! It's Christmastime!Maybe you're not as excited as Buddy the Elf was, or maybe you understand that holidays aren't always what they're cracked up to be. If so, these tweets are for you.
"Let me show you"
It doesn't feel like I'm truly home for the holidays until I've taken my parents' phones and said "Here let me show you" at least 25 times.— Ari Scott (@Ari Scott)1482111222.0
You go, girls!Heck yeah– I love this! Scrap Donner, it's Donna now, baby!
Any tree can be a Christmas tree if you yell at your family around it.— Christmashuahua (@Christmashuahua)1355285738.0
Dads and ladders
The older you get the more holidays become about keeping your father off a ladder— mike ginn (@mike ginn)1417104931.0
NothingI cannot stress this enough; when kids are older than like, 13, all they want is cold hard cash. Give them money. None of this guessing game stuff.
May your Christmas run red
apparently "may your Christmas run red with the blood of a thousand Santas" was a bad thing to say to my niece— the garbage shit boy (@the garbage shit boy)1448398236.0
Just so we’re clear, The Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair.— Mannie Fest (@Mannie Fest)1511570471.0
if you like christmas so much why don't you merry it— FRO VO (@FRO VO)1387760336.0
for the 7th year in a row, Rick Astley refuses to give his wife her favorite Pixar movie for Christmas— dan mentos (@dan mentos)1448983548.0
All I want
Make my wish come true. All I want for Christmas is you(r HBO GO password).— not great, bob! (@not great, bob!)1418353446.0
Making a list
he's making a list and checking it twice and i'm falling asleep and she's calling a cab— matt (@matt)1512075274.0
A Christmas Carol
A Christmas Carol is the heartwarming tale of how rich people must be supernaturally terrorized into sharing.— Red Durkin (@Red Durkin)1513102819.0
[searches 'Chanukah'] Did you mean Hanukah? I DON'T KNOW, GOOGLE. NO ONE DOES.— Rachel Lichtman (@Rachel Lichtman)1418873818.0
The Grinch's tree
Decorating our Christmas tree and daughter said, "I bet the only thing The Grinch puts on his tree is the skin of his victims."— emily mcbride (@emily mcbride)1512008675.0
"Santa Baby" sequel
I wrote a new christmas song called "I'm also horny for you, lady". basically it's santas response to the lady that sings "santa baby"— slick (@slick)1417880671.0
Mommy kissed Santa Claus
I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night. The moon was full and they were standing naked… https://t.co/d8dTMA8ZQ4— The Hermit (@The Hermit)1512639021.0
MILLIPEDES"Wow, that's a lot of clicks! Ahh, MILLIPEDES! Oh god, it would be horrible if millipedes came down your chimney." -me reading this tweet
Little known fact: literally every spelling of Hannukah is correct. Channukah? Hannhooka? Chewbacca? Channing Tatum? All fine.— summer goth 🦇 (@summer goth 🦇)1418783303.0
Huge time of year for you, friend https://t.co/WdVQTV5Wmo— Anna Drezen (@Anna Drezen)1512497777.0
All I want for Christmas is for someone to pay off my debilitating student loans...but I guess this mug is good too, thanks.— Julia Yorks (@Julia Yorks)1450737935.0
The Christmas Holidays are over. #backtowork https://t.co/eCfQjip2Ix— TwistedDoodles (@TwistedDoodles)1514878868.0
If you don't have a chimney Santa just bursts through your walls like the Kool-Aid Man— Regional Expert (@Regional Expert)1419274973.0
michael bublé is defrosting as we speak— jessica BLM (@jessica BLM)1509544191.0
"Oh, God, sorry, I'd love to talk and catch up, but, ah, man, I'm just...I'm petting this dog right now, so..." -- me at a christmas party— maggie mull (@maggie mull)1355699003.0
Childhood: I WANT IT TO BE CHRISTMAS EVERY DAY. Adulthood: It's December 8th. The Christmas music is relentless. I will confess to anything.— Elizabeth Hackett (@Elizabeth Hackett)1512780724.0
My wife hates when I give her a Christmas/birthday combo gift but thats what she gets for being born in May— Clint Grohl (@Clint Grohl)1355779750.0
Every year for Christmas I ask Satan to cure me of my dyslexia.— new year, new expired meats (@new year, new expired meats)1449169543.0
'Twas the night before Christmas And all through the zoo Every creature was stirring It was a zoo.— Duke Max “Carnival Lawyer” Ash (@Duke Max “Carnival Lawyer” Ash)1450147287.0