One of the most important things about marriage is to have a sense of humor through better or worse, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall tweet.
And for these hilarious husbands, they seem to have gotten the memo.
via: TwitterAnd that using five paper towels to wipe out a Ziploc bag probably isn't that smart. Recycling is hard.
via: TwitterFinding that perfect ratio is hard. So even though he loves you, he made EXACTLY the amount. You're on your own.
via: TwitterDidn't you know? You're supposed to read her mind.
In a galaxy far, far away.
via: TwitterMay the Force be with you. Don't go the dark side.
via: TwitterAnd mason jars that people actually just use as mason jars. Pin, pin, pin.
Blah, blah, blah.
via: TwitterOr rather, the speaking punishment. Depending on the situation.
Maturity is overrated.
via: TwitterIt is kind of hard to talk with all that candy in your mouth. That's certainly a thought to chew on...
via: Twitter*Sees wife putting away folded laundry* So, do you need help folding laundry?
via: TwitterAnd sometimes you breathe too loud. It really depends on the day, but we still love you — when you're quiet.
It's getting hot in here.
via: TwitterThe final result? About 72 degrees when he's home. When he's gone? All bets are off — and the heat is on.
via: TwitterAnd if she's in line at the store with a cart of wine and chocolate? Always let her go first.
via: TwitterNo! Not the lasagna! Timing is everything.
via: TwitterI don't know. Did you hear something?
Putting words in your mouth.
via: TwitterIt's really two-way communication. She says something and you communicate by a series of nods and smiles.
via: TwitterMaybe she wanted the top bunk instead? Either way, that's probably a pretty effective birth control method.
via: Twitter"But I..." "I said UNSUBSCRIBE!"
What a chore!
via: TwitterNo matter where you go, no matter what you do... She will find you and put you to work.
via: TwitterIt's horrible, actually. Can't go to the store, can't do laundry. Simply tragic.
Cut and dry.
via: TwitterEveryone knows you don't use the decorative towels. That's why they're called decorative towels.
You better shop around.
via: TwitterWell...? Do we? The answer is always "yes." You always need something from the store.
Man's best friend.
via: TwitterAfter all, every dog needs a good wardrobe. How is that stupid stuff?
Sorry. I tried.
via: TwitterAnd what is this "pan" that you speak of? I think we should just order in...
The things you learn...
via: TwitterIt always goes on the top shelf to the right. Everyone knows that, dude.
Carved in stone.
via: TwitterThou shall not put the milk away wrong Thou shall not load the dishwasher any way other than the way you are asked.
Clip and save.
via: TwitterBut who doesn't want to save 35 cents on dish soap? Bill. Bill doesn't want to save 35 cents on dish soap.
via: TwitterSee? Now here's a man who knows how to use coupons.
via: TwitterWell... Were you?
Shop and save.
via: TwitterThree hours later: I think we should order out.
via: TwitterThat one just sealed the deal. She couldn't it bear it anymore.
via: TwitterYeah, maybe don't go through her closet without her permission. At least your heart was in the right place, even if the donation wasn't.
via: TwitterIt's actually quite a performance. Everyone loves a hero!