Hilarious Tweets From Parents Who Are Just Trying to Make It Past Christmas

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The holidays can be full of lights, presents, coziness, and family– and if you are a parent, they can also be filled to the brim with untold amounts of stress. Sorry, that’s just the way it is. And the parents who wrote these tweets agree that the holiday season isn’t all smiles and rainbows– especially if you have small children.

Kids are very demanding, and the holidays is a tricky balance between being generous with gifts, and not giving in to those crazy monsters’ every whim. It’s hard to be a parent during the holidays. In fact, it’s so hard that the first two weeks of the new year should always be reserved for parents to go on a tropical vacation someplace very far away from their kids.

If Arnold Schwarzenegger couldn’t handle being a parent during Christmas, then most other parents can’t either.

And that’s OK! Because parents during the holidays have each other to commiserate with– and Twitter to use as an outlet.

*Gestures to all of it*

Wouldn’t it be nice if the cashier at the mall could stop all of the craziness? Sadly, they are not superheroes (are least not in that way).

Bank account

Nothing gets hit harder at Christmas than a parent’s bank account. Not even those ski towns in Colorado that get several feet of snow.

The children were nestled

What? Serious question, though. Do birds have teeth?

Smart kid

I grew up Jewish, so my parents didn’t have the burden of lying to me about the big red man when I was little, and honestly, I prefer it that way. It can’t be easy.

Diamonds

This kid is too smart for their own good. I’d buy this kid all the coal they wanted. It would keep them busy for hours.

Top 3 gifts

Don’t neighbors understand that by Christmas Eve, the Christmas shopping is done? Don’t let that kid put more gift ideas into their tiny little heads last minute.

Christmas lists

Kids have no idea that money doesn’t grow on trees and that parents don’t have a limited supply of it. The awakening is always miraculous.

Last year

Wow, thank goodness for forgetful past you! This is the best gift a parent could themselves.

All I Want for Christmas

This six-year-old really has a point. I’ve never thought about this before, but now I will always think about it when I hear this song.

Target cashier

“Target cashier?” Oh, you mean my best friend Terry? The lovely mom of four rambunctious kids who likes hiking and golfing in her spare time?

Updated lists

If I have learned anything from this list of tweets, it is that I will never officially recognize any “list” of presents any of my children ever write. No lists. Lists are bad.

Honest holiday newsletter

I really hate holiday newsletters, but if they all read like this, I would love them. Brutal honesty for the win.

Online shopping

Online shopping or shopping of any kind for Christmas gifts is harrowing because five minutes in, I’m convinced I’m putting in so much effort that I deserve to buy myself a gift.

‘Tis the season

Oh my goodness I have never thought about this part of parenting before. This has me rethinking everything.

Hiding presents

No joke, I hid a present today and then panicked that I forgot where I put it. Literal hours later. The struggle is real.

Job applications

Once you’re a teenager, you work for those beyond expensive gifts! It’s called living in the real world, bucko.

Chill and laid back

Well, I officially can never ever do this because I thought about it for five seconds and I nearly screamed my head off.

One minute of sleep

If only. But on Christmas, all parents are Santa, and Santa never sleeps (until December 26, that is).

The Grinch

This kid. This kid will go very far in life.

Assembling toys

I tried to put together an IKEA dresser one time, and that was enough for me. Someone else will have to figure out the toys.

Amazon Prime

This is the only way that Santa can ensure that they will arrive by Christmas. Sorry, but Santa lives in the 21st century with all of us now.

Elf on the Shelf

As a Jewish person, I never quite understood the Elf on the Shelf. I definitely never understood all the effort parents go through for this evil looking elf.

100 dollars

My kids won’t get presents until they know the meaning of the season and the amount of money I spent. So that means they won’t get presents until they graduate from high school.

Ornaments and trees

This is a good point. They also clearly never had a pet.

Empty water bottle

Small children are like cats. They like the container the toy comes in more than the toy. Always.

Cheap advent calendar

This is why you should buy that cheese advent calendar. That’s the best kind of advent calendar.

Capitalist space Santa

Want proof that we’re living in the apocalypse? Look no further than capitalist space Santa.

Staying up late

This is when I give up as a parent. They can get their presents in the morning when I wake up and not a minute before.

Fighting and vacuuming

This about sums it up. Share this with a fellow parent in the trenches this holiday season!