Hilariously Bitter People Who Are Definitely Not Friends With Their Exes

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It’s a tale as old as time: Your eyes lock across a crowded bar. You’ve never felt this way about anyone before. It’s different this time. You’ve finally found “the one”. Images of wedding bells, screeching children and growing old together flash before your eyes. You can’t imagine how you’ve lived this long before finding your “person”. But then, out of nowhere, after 8 blissful months of eating takeout in bed while Netflix-and-chilling, it ends, and you’re left angry, alone, and chugging cans of White Claw just to try to forget them. Trust me, I get it, and so do the following 30 people who are seriously bitter about their exes. And while most of these people’s reactions are completely understandable, I think #29 took things a bit too far.

Looking for something a bit more uplifting than a bunch of bitter exes? Here are some heartwarming photos of a couple who shot their engagement photos at Target. See? It’s not all bad! Love isn’t dead after all!

Looks like there was some Bad Blood between these two. Shake it off, man. Shake it off.

Is it weird that I honestly think he looks radiant in this getup? I wonder if he managed to get her mustache right.

You have to respect this amount of pettiness. Our modern world allows us to get revenge in such creative ways, doesn’t it?

If I were his ex-wife, I wouldn’t care who he put on those checks. You and Nancy have fun in Vero Beach, Bill. Just keep the money coming.

My ex never thought I was funny either, and now he’s a lawyer and I make quippy comments on the internet for a living. I sure showed him!

Because nothing could possibly ruin a vacation quicker than running into your ex at the pool bar. No, I don’t want to play a quick game of beach volleyball with you, ROB. You always criticized my serves, anyway.

To be fair, “modern art” is usually pretty bizarre, so this guy could be comparing himself to an exhibit that consists of a pallet of diapers covered in Ranch dressing.

Is it weird that I’m a 33-year-old woman that still uses my parents’ log-in information for all of my streaming services? No. That’s not weird. Not weird at all.

For anyone who needs to hear this: If you’re thinking about getting a tattoo of your significant other, DON’T. Or, if you do, at least have a cool cover-up job planned out ahead of time like this person clearly did.

Sure, going through a divorce can be tough, but look at how much closer together it ended up bringing these brothers.

29 times?! Who has the time to call your ex-girlfriend for basically a half-hour straight? And with every dial, he probably thought to himself, “This isn’t creepy or excessive, it’s just showing her how much I love her.”

Don’t we all need this type of constant reminder? Plus it really ties the room together.

I can’t name one woman who wasn’t completely satisfied after a good trip to Michael’s.

An ex-wife who celebrates their divorce-anniversary (divorcery?) with a PIZZA?! This man doesn’t know how lucky he is. Maybe he should rethink that “ex”.

Sure, that’s one way to get back at your ex. Personally, I’d try to get as much money as I possibly could for it and then spend it on something that would actually bring me joy in life, like tacos. But to each their own.

I’m sure this is how your ex would want you to remember her: Flying headfirst into a giant puddle during a torrential downpour.

Okay, this one hit me right in the feels. Although it’s kind of implying that her ex “owned” her, so that’s problematic.

Sure, I’d be mad about this, but I’d also secretly be a tad impressed. How did he even accomplish this without her noticing? That’s A+ pettiness.

Ouch. This takes the old saying of someone being “dead to me” to a whole new level.

Be sure to flip all the way through to the end. It’s worth it.

You did a great job, Ted. I hope you two will be very happy together.

Now, this is just rude. How “boring” could this sponge be if it’s on display at the National History Museum?! Are people really paying $23 bucks per person to stare at “boring” artifacts?? Judging from what I remember about 5th-grade field trips, yes. Yes they are.

Sure, it has “stupid” written on it, but if you’re putting in the effort to bake someone a cake, can you really hate them that much? Methinks there might be some residual feelings going on here. Unless that cake is spiked with Ex-Lax.

It’s important to document these types of big life events so you can look back on them fondly. This one definitely belongs in the divorce album!

And yet, this person still decided to date them in the first place even though they were so clearly marked. Some people are so blind.

Ya know how people say that you start to look like your significant other after you date them for long enough?

If this shirt couldn’t save their relationship, nothing could. How could anyone gaze upon this thing and not have your heart instantly fill will love and adoration?

Look Chad, I know you’re hurt, but this is not the way to process those feelings. Why not try yoga? Or a sculpting class at your local rec center?

So, is this guy trying to say that his ex didn’t deserve a fancy-schmancy ring, or is he making a comment about how cheap he is? Either way, I think he came out on top.

Sometimes, if you hear something enough times, you end up believing it yourself. This poor man finally got some closure.