People all over the world are doing terrible things to shoes.
And the Instagram account @crimesagainstshoemanity is documenting all of it.
Shoes are a great way to express yourself through fashion.But they can also be turned into literal nightmares. Here are the worst crimes against shoe-manity ever.
Speaking of fish...
Why is there only one?!
via: RedditThis package needs to contain at least two emotional support shoes. What am I going to do with just one? Feel half-supported? I have my mom for that.
Can-- can they see me?
via: RedditHaving this many Barbie heads looking out at those you pass by is creepy enough. But it'll be especially bad once they start to talk to each other...
What are you lookin' at?
via: RedditThese shoes are a real sight to see! You see, because they're covered in eyes. And eyes give you sight. I'm just gonna head home and take a nap now, if that's okay with y'all.
Go Ninja go Ninja go.
via: RedditOkay, I don't want to rag too much on online video game player Ninja and his line of terrible-looking sneakers. If kids love Ninja, I want them to be happy. But you never even see this guy's feet on his streams — just his face. We have no idea if he would wear these kinds of shoes! (Hint: he wouldn't.)
via: RedditI love the gold on the inside of these shoes, but I can't help but feel like it detracts from the overall banana theme?
Shoes shouldn't be part of manual labor.
via: RedditI hate the idea of using these snow-shovel shoes to actually clear snow from my driveway. Wouldn't that just be murder on your quads?
Riddle me this.
via: RedditThese shoes look so bad, not even the Riddler would wear them! Although to be fair, The Riddler tends to favor a single question mark or two on his tie, or hat. You know, keep it understated.
Ooh, goblin-made armor.
via: RedditThese shoes are not only ugly. They're also practical. Anytime you can wear footwear into battle that can impale your enemies, well buster, you've got yourself an advantage.
What is even happening here?
via: RedditIs this shoe made out of leftover spaghetti drainers? Or-- wait! They're shuttlecocks! That is... not much better.
If the world is going to be this awful, why do we even try?
via: RedditThe whole point of shoes is to keep your feet from looking this disgusting! Who are the people who need to learn that lesson? It feels like common sense to me!
An entire ecosystem on your feet.
via: RedditI know that an inevitable part of owning shoes is that they get a little dirty, a little scuffed-up. But these bad boys? They got so dirty they started to produce life.
Pray to whatever god you believe in.
via: RedditThese are, without a doubt, the most disturbing shoes I've ever seen. (I honestly hope that's the last time I have to say that in this article.)
It does add much-needed storage space.
via: RedditDoes this kid know he can just get a regular pencil case? One that isn't a shoe? I just feel like he's going to stab himself in the toe with those scissors if he ever tries to run.
Also, why are they labeled?
via: RedditCrocs, as we already know, are ugly. They're comfortable, but they're ugly. But why add shoelaces to tighten them up? Then they're no longer comfy! And that's the one thing you're supposed to like about wearing crocs!
via: RedditAs someone who strongly believes that all feet are gross, these shoes feel like a personal attack.
What happened here?
via: RedditDid you guys have just a bunch of weird junk lying around the house that you had to get rid of? "Hey Gary, just slather a shoe in glue and drop a bunch of that trash on it. That's how we'll clean up the joint."
What is that dripping off this shoe?
via: RedditI hope it's glaze. Like, from a donut. I hope to God it's glaze.
Too much beauty for one ugg.
via: RedditI'll admit, a lot of shoes are pretty dull, what with their brown leather or plain white material. But this excessively colorful Ugg is going too far.
A shoe from a parallel universe.
via: RedditAt first glance, sure, this looks like a normal sneaker. But give it a second look, and you'll see that it's clearly a sneaker from another universe, and its molecular structure is breaking down now that it's crossed over into ours.
Look at all those emotions...
via: RedditOkay, obviously these shoes look ridiculous and should never be worn by anyone. But also? Wouldn't it be funny if you were a Senator and wore these on the floor of the United States Congress?
Unleash the beast.
via: RedditAre people into wearing what looks like legitimate animal hair boots? And more to the point, are they into wearing it on their ostensibly fashionable heels?
An endless riddle, in shoe form.
via: RedditYou put the laces in one loop, it comes out the other, and there's never going to be any explanation why. It's like when Scooby-Doo and the gang used to run away from monsters through all those different doors. It never made sense, and it was always infuriating.
Who wants chicken?
via: RedditAh yes, the bird's foot. The least aesthetically pleasing part of a bird. I can see why someone would put them on a high fashion pump heel.
via: RedditDid someone just take an old water shoe and add jewels to it? Who takes the least expensive shoe and crafts the most expensive diamonds onto it?
via: RedditThis is the design for Kanye West's newest shoe. It's the worst thing he's done since that weird album of gospel music he put out last year.
via: RedditSuperman sometimes fights Bizarro, an alternate universe version of himself. That's what Lugz boots are up against when they go up against these — Bizarrugz.
A wretched combination.
via: RedditAgain, I think feet are weird (including my own), so I don't wear sandals. But aren't the point of flip-flops that they're super comfortable? Adding a hell to them defeats the entire purpose.
"You lose these, Karl?"
via: RedditWho is Karl? Why does he have his won pair of boots? And more to the point, why did a company think Karl was so universally beloved that other people would buy his boots?
The perfect disguise.
via: RedditListen, I've seen enough romantic comedies to know how this turns out. One of those real birds is going to fall in love with a shoe bird, and once the shoe-bird finally comes clean, they'll live happily ever after.
Part of a healthy diet.
via: RedditOkay, some of these shoes have simply felt like misguided attempts at pushing shoe fashion-forward. But these? These I am convinced are a prank, pulled by someone who accidentally bought too much cabbage at the store.