29 Outfits That Would Probably Make Clinton and Stacy Quit Their Jobs

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Every single day, millions of people wake up and decide what they’re going to wear. It might be a fancy shirt and tie if they have an interview. It might be a pair of yoga pants that almost pass for dress slacks if they’re feeling a little rebellious. Or they might just decide to chill in their pajamas. (No judgment here; I’ve been known to rock the 24-hour pajama look on several occasions.)

But most people wear things that are, all things considered, pretty innocuous. Sure, you might happen across a slightly see-through top or maybe a visible underwear line every now and again, but it’s nothing that makes you gasp.

You might think that is because no clothes could make you gasp. But that is not the case, my friend. Not by a long shot.

 

So the next time you’re stuck feeling like you don’t have anything to wear…

…You can at least rest assured that all of your options are probably much better than the ones you’re about to see here.

Like this pair of pants:

Have you ever wanted everyone to think that you roll around in the mud for fun? These are the pants for you.

Or how about detachable pants?

You know, for those times that you don’t want to have to choose between wearing pants and wearing shorts.

These watermelon pants couldn’t be much worse.

In case it’s not clear, the sale image is on the right. On the left is what actually arrived. It’s…uh…well, let’s just say it’s probably not something you’d wear in front of your grandma.

These sweatpants are also jeans??

We’ve already seen the pants and shorts combo. These are for those times when you feel like wearing sweatpants but should probably be wearing something a bit less casual. I’m sure they’d fool anyone.

They say the knees are the windows the soul.

And these pants are the windows to the knee. It’s downright poetic.

Hmmm.

You have to wonder who looked at this shirt design and thought, “Yes. Good. I have done well.” Because they definitely did not.

This didn’t turn out as I had expected.

The idea was to discourage racism. Instead, it kinda just looks like you’re a fan. Whoops!

Oh boy.

There’s not really much to say about this one. It’s bad, OKAY. Let’s move on.

This children’s sweatshirt has pandas on it!

I don’t think I’ve ever gone from “Awww!” to “AHHHHH!” as fast as I did just now.  

Of course, yes. This makes so much sense.

As someone who has spent five full minutes trying to figure out what this shirt says, I recommend you do nothing of the sort. It actually starts to make less sense the more you look at it.

Do you?

I know what you’re thinking. There is no “roar” in dinosaur. Well, that’s because he hasn’t put it there yet. Duh.

Facebook strikes again.

These hyper-specific Facebook ads always make me laugh. Although none have been quite this funny.

Don’t Quit!

Hey! Were you just believing in yourself! Don’t do that!

“You’ve My Bgother You’re My SistBack”

I have no idea what you’re trying to say here, but I’m sure it’s very touching.

Don’t be happy. Worry.

Thanks, shirt. As if I needed the reminder.

How romantic.

Hey, if your betrothed can’t handle you when it looks as though you’ve pooped yourself, maybe you shouldn’t be getting married, ya know? This is a test!

This brings new meaning to the term “holey jeans.”

Mathematically speaking, I think you legally have to call these “holes” instead of “jeans.”

Better keep that thing zipped up, bud.

But I also get grossed out by pus. I’m with ya there.

What. Is. This?

There’s no configuration of the human body that makes this garment make even a little bit of sense. We’ve entered the darkest timeline folks.

Do you like Adidas?

This is a great outfit if you really love Adidas but can only afford to buy the socks. Also? No more lost socks! It’s genius really.

NO THANK YOU.

If this were the last shirt on the entire planet, I would still choose to walk around topless for the rest of my life.

Okay, not gonna lie — this is kind of amazing.

Do I admire it? Yeah. Would I ever wear it? Nope! Not in a million years.

This one, though?

This one I would wear. 100 percent.

These boots were not made for walking.

I think they were made to make other people stop walking, actually.

Um, Okay.

I’m not here to judge people. But I am here to judge furries. (Just kidding. Let people live their lives!)

Talk about the Belle of the ball!

I love Taco Bell. I love Beauty and the Beast. I see nothing wrong here.

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

I do not like this. Not one bit.

Check out this crochet project!

This is pretty impressive and wouldn’t be nearly as awful if they hadn’t gone with yarn that was basically the same color as the skin of the person wearing it.

This is just a big ol’ tube!

But I have to admit it looks very comfy. I might not wear it, but I would definitely sleep in it. Share this with your favorite fashion lover!