Horrendous Decor You’d Never See on HGTV

Share on Facebook

Every person has their own unique style and everyone deserves to feel comfortable in their own home.

But, that being said, there are some really bizarre home decor items that I truly, truly do not understand.

I’m not saying I have the whole home-decor-thing figured out. Most of the flat surfaces in my house are covered with stacks of books, coffee mugs, and receipts I pulled out from my purse and neglected to throw away. But these decor items? They’re on a whole other level. And it’s not a good level.

I like to imagine that they would appear on an HGTV show called The Worst Things We’ve Ever Seen in Our Lives, hosted by Genevieve Gorder and Sabrina Soto. I’m not saying they couldn’t possibly work in the right space; just that it’s super unlikely that anyone would ever see them and want one for their own house.

Like this scorpion chair.

I won’t deny that the craftsmanship is very impressive, but unless you are a Bond villain, I don’t think this chair will work with the rest of your decor.

Or this chair made out of jeans.

Don’t pretend that you’ve never wanted to sit on someone else’s behind. Now you can! Sort of.

These pillows are amazing:

Sure, they wouldn’t be featured in an episode of Fixer Upper. But I want them anyway.

Here’s a couch made from jeans!

You’ve heard of jorts, so now I present to you: the Jouch!

This stove is something else.

It’s like they were doing construction and got tired of waiting for the excavator to move, then decided to simply build their home around it. I’m not sure it works.

What a turn-on!

Can you imagine Joanna Gaines installing these in one of her perfectly curated farmhouse-chic homes? No, of course you can’t.

These are not paper plates!

I guess these are great for those times that you want to enjoy the style of paper plates with none of the convenience. As for the ants, maybe they’re supposed to keep real ants form showing up?

Whoa. Cool table.

Just so we’re clear, I really like video games! I play them often. That being said, I have never once in my life seen a piece of video game-inspired furniture and thought it was something that belonged in my home. That has not changed after seeing this table.

But I’d take the XBox controller table over this one any day:

“Aggressive” is the only word that fits the description of this table. It’s also a word that should probably never be used to describe a piece of furniture.

These cupboards give me the heebie jeebies.

These are far from the worst thing on this list, but this is the picture that disturbs me the most. I don’t know why.

Looking for a custom toilet seat?

There are some things that you just don’t need to customize. I think we can include toilet seats on that list.

A watermelon tub!

At least it’s seedless. (I’m trying to look on the bright side.)

A skull sink:

I imagine this skull is there to remind you of your own mortality every time you go to wash your hands. It’s a little morbid, but OK!

NSFW topiary:

I have many questions. Where are these going to be installed? Why are they going to be installed? Who made them? Why were they made?

In case your bathroom was a little too boring:

You may be a fan of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, but you’ll never be as big a fan as whoever decided to transform their toilet into Carl. You may as well revoke your fan status now.

A new kind of horseshoe:

It’s a horse! It’s a shoe! Just kidding. It’s a monstrosity.

Interesting design for a soap dispenser.

Most people like to think about how their hands are getting cleaner when they get soap. I feel like that might be a little tricky when the dispenser is shaped like a toilet.

A literal footboard.

I know this bed looks huge, but it’s only two feet long. (I will see myself out.)

A rainbow bathroom!

On the one hand, this design is pretty garish and I’m not a huge fan. On the other hand, if you can’t go a little outside the norm in your bathroom, then where can you let your freak flag fly? Carry on.

That’s more like it.

Do I think this is weird and maybe a little unsanitary? Yes. Do I also think that more toilets should have armrests? Yes.

A corn chandelier!

I don’t know who this is for, but I would like to meet them. I need to hear their whole life story.

These light up my life.

In case you didn’t catch it from the caption, these butt lights are activated with a slap. That kind of makes them awesome, right?

Another chandelier!

This chandelier is a very interesting shape that definitely does not remind me of anything else in the world. Yup! Just a chandelier!

A literal showerhead:

I think I may need to take a shower after taking a shower under this thing. The eyehole-storage pockets are not helping.

A flamingo seat!

OK, this does look kind of horrendous. But it also looks very comfortable, no? I would sit here.

Nice to meet you.

Every time I imagine opening this door, a shiver runs down my spine. I do not like it. Not even a little bit.

A hippo table.

Imagine going to put your drink down on your coffee table and having to maneuver around a hippo head. That’s the reality you’re inviting into your home if you purchase this table.

There’s so much to unpack here.

I would never, ever bring something like this into my home. But I greatly admire the confidence of whoever this belongs to.

Cat butts!

I mean, you wouldn’t want your furniture to get watermarks on it, would you? That would be tacky.

Yellow marble?!

Who thought this would be a good idea? They were very wrong. I need them to know that they were wrong. Share this with someone who loves watching HGTV!