If you've ever found yourself sitting down to watch an episode of House Hunters or House Hunters: International or even Tiny House Hunters, you're familiar with a phenomenon I like to call the "House Hunters Vortex."

You have 30 minutes of free time. Why not watch a sweet couple work together with a real estate agent to choose their dream home? Sounds delightful, right?

Well, it is, and it's not. By the time you're released from the Vortex, you'll hate the couple, the houses, and the real estate agent altogether. And, your entire day is ruined because you spent it watching 12 episodes of this show.

If you've ever been sucked into the Vortex, don't fear. You are not alone! Not only that; there are so many people tweeting their hilarious takes on the show that know exactly how you're feeling.

Seriously, how do these people exist in real life?

I don't even want to think about it. Let's just get to the tweets. We all know they'll make us feel better.

Seems reasonable.

I've seen a lot of episodes of House Hunters. Know what I haven't seen? A single couple with a reasonable budget.

This always kills me.

Out of all the things that bug me about the show, nothing is more infuriating than when the couple starts complaining about things like paint color. That is literally the easiest thing in the world to change!

And their wish lists are nuts, too.

Where are these people getting this money? Is this an option in life? Did I just miss that part of the life manual?

Good for them, though.

I could afford to spend millions of dollars on a house and see lambs, I'd probably do the exact same thing.

Mmhm, yes, of course.

What's a hedgehog technologist, you ask? Doesn't matter; they have money.

The show features people from all walks of life.

Just not any of the walks of life that normal people tend to experience.


Yes. This is so true. I can go into an episode with the best intentions and end up shouting at my TV screen in a matter of minutes.

Not too shabby.

House Hunters spoiler: Most of the time, they choose the house that looks the emptiest. Because they actually already bought it in real life. Sorry if I just crushed your dreams.

I saw this one!

But when you think about it, this is an important question. Where will all the birds go?

It's the best show for procrastination.

And by best, I suppose I actually mean it's the worst. I've lost days of my life to this show, people.

It doesn't always bring out the best in the couple.

Who knew that making a gigantic decision like "where should we live our lives?" could add stress to the relationship?


They complain about paint colors. They complain about countertops. They complain about appliances and location and budget. It's not a good look.

It's awful. I hate it.

Before you know it, we'll be back to putting carpet over hardwood floors and sticking wallpaper borders around every room.

Natural light is of the utmost importance.

I would be tempted to bring the couple to a completely roofless house, to give them all the natural light they could possibly want. Or maybe one made entirely of glass.

Do we, though?

Show me a couple featured on House Hunters, and I'll show you a couple that is barely able to contain their hatred of one another.

No problem!

Inevitably, their real estate agent will show them a place that meets all of those qualifications and they'll still end up picking something else.

House Hunters couples definitely have their priorities straight.

Straight into the DUMPSTER, that is. They're actually totally wack.

Beachfront property is a must.

If your house isn't in the actual ocean, how will people know how rich you are?

You win some, you lose some.

But was it under budget? Probably not!

You can't always get what you want.

House Hunters: International might honestly be even more frustrating than regular old House Hunters. Oh, who am I kidding? They're both insufferable.

This show would actually be interesting.

Give it a few years, and I'm sure HGTV will start producing this spinoff.

Who. Are. These. People?

Where do they come from? How do they exist in real life? What is wrong with them?!

Totally valid.

It never fails. The real estate agent shows them one house that is under budget, meets all their needs, and is in a perfect neighborhood, and what do they do? They buy something else.

In the far distant future.

Honestly, House Hunters could actually be the thing ruins us in as a species. It's totally plausible.

Like I said.

It's the Vortex. There is no cure for. There is only more House Hunters.

Oh, that's totally worth it!

It's also frustrating when they reason with going over budget by pointing out a "perk" that could easily be added to the cheaper house. There's no such thing as logic on House Hunters.


He had one request. Just one.

Time for a compromise.

Well, you tried. I guess it's time to split up.

Exactly what you wanted!

You know what, House Hunters couples? You're all nut. But I'm going to keep hate-watching anyway. Share this with a fellow HGTV addict!