It would be a lie to say I haven’t watch Ferris Bueller’s Day Off since I was a kid, although not a complete lie.

It was one of my favorite movies in elementary and middle school, but the last time I sat down and watched the whole thing from start to finish was probably circa 2003.

So I decided to sit down and give it a real watch, with absolutely no phone.

Here are my thoughts.

Ferris' parents are completely oblivious.

In the first scene of the movie, Ferris fakes sick to stay home. For someone who later hatches some really clever plans to fool adults into things, his fake sick acting is absolutely terrible, it's no wonder he later ropes his friends into doing the acting for him. He way overdoes it! He claims to be a professional at this sort of thing, but his moaning and writhing is so over the top, any parent would see through it right away. That is, except parents of the '80s who didn't really care what their kids did.

Plus, he's a senior in his last semester of high school, theoretically, he's already into college, already taken his SATs, who really cares if he's at school? 

It's 70 degrees in Chicago, so we can assume this is probably around April or May, he's almost done! Just let the kid live.

What were yearbooks like before Ferris' famous "Life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around every once and awhile, you could miss it" quote?

Just half blank pages? It is a good quote, though.

One thing I never noticed: what Ferris is singing in the shower.

Ferris takes a shower and sings into the shower head, can you guess what song he's singing? That's right! He sings Danke Schoen, the same song he later sings in the parade!

One thing Ferris can't shut up about is that he doesn't have a car.

He mentions it a lot. Like probably six or seven times throughout the movie. Which made me wonder, is this whole thing about his insecurity that he doesn't have a car? His sister has one, his best friend has one, the movie never says if his girlfriend Sloan has one, but she does have a Cartier watch, so we can assume yes, she probably does. But Ferris doesn't. Ferris seems like the world's most confident guy, but a mode of transportation is the one thing he's lacking. You have to kind of wonder if it scares him: everyone he loves can leave at any time, but he doesn't have that same freedom. So he compensates by taking everyone on this huge adventure. But Ferris isn't the character I identify with most, read on to find out who is.

I very much identify with Jeanie Bueller.

I too had one of those brothers that seemed like they could get away with anything, who everyone adored. Anyone who has a sibling like this knows how hard it can be living in their overconfident shadow, especially when you are trying your hardest to do the right thing. Jeanie is the unsung hero of Ferris Bueller, she not only deals with Ferris' crap, in the end, she even comes around and helps him get away with it. Because every good sibling knows, no matter how obnoxious, it's always better to have your sibling on your side. Here's to the Jeanies everywhere. I see you.

But while we are on the subject, how old is Jeanie?

She acts like she is Ferris' older sister, plus she got a car, and he didn't, but she's still in high school, and Ferris is a senior. Are they twins?

It's also a little shitty of Ferris not to get Jeanie out of school, too.

Ferris obviously planned this way beforehand, why didn't he just fill Jeanie in and have her come along? Did he think she'd blow his cover? I feel like the reason she hates Ferris so much at the beginning of the movie is that she feels left out: he is everyone's best friend at school, except hers. Ferris may be a lot of fun, but he isn't a great brother.

Which brings us to the question: how far in advance did Ferris plan this?

We know that this is the 9th time Ferris has skipped school this semester. But has he put this much effort into all the days he skipped? Ferris goes to extraordinary lengths to get out of school. He records various tapes and answering machines of his own voice, he sets up a mannequin in his bed rigged up with a device to make it move, he dresses up like Sloan's father, he hacks into the school's computer system, and he even calls his principal as himself asking for his homework. Does he go through this amount of effort every single time he skips school?! It seems like more work than just...going to school.

Also, when did he put in that hardware in his bedroom?

That dummy in his bed is rigged up with hooks that are drilled into his bedroom wall. When did he drill those?! How many times has he pulled this dummy trick? His parents really don't catch on, do they? On the next page, I have a very important question about Ferris' pay phone use.

Did Ferris call the pay phone at his own school?

In one scene, Ferris is on the school's pay phone with a group of freshmen. He's telling them all about how "sick" he is and laughing when they believe him. But...did he just call the pay phone at his school and just ask to talk to anyone? Was this what life was like before cell phones? You just called random pay phones and hoped someone you knew answered?

Ferris is seriously talented on the computer.

Not only does he hack into the school's computer system to change his absences, he also draws an incredibly detailed naked woman in MS Paint. I sincerely believe Ferris went on to develop his own app that changes your voice to a deep baritone for prank calls.

Ferris let Sloane believe her grandmother was dead for like...thirty minutes.

Ferris has Cameron call their high school as Sloane's dad and tells them Sloane's grandma has died. But Sloane isn't in on this plan! She seems surprised when she sees Ferris and realizes the whole thing was orchestrated by him. So that means for like thirty minutes, Ferris had no problem letting his girlfriend believe her grandma was dead. I'm sure she suspected, but there's no way she could have known for sure. Kind of a jerk move.

Another jerk move: making Cameron get out of bed.

Ferris calls Cameron and tells him to come over, but we see that Cameron is lying in bed, surrounded by medicine and tissues. He's really sick! But Ferris doesn't really care. He says he's doing this for Cameron's own good, and that may be true in terms of Cameron's emotional well-being, but physically, Cameron really should be in bed drinking plenty of fluids.

One thing I kept thinking about was how funny this movie would have been if instead of the Ferrari, they took out Cameron's dad's Model T.

Cameron's dad also has an old-fashioned Model T type car in his very fancy garage. It would have been a whole different movie, but to be honest, I would have watched that movie, too. But on the topic of cars, I have a question...

How did they get the keys to the Ferrari in the first place?

If Cameron's dad was so in love with his car, you'd think he'd put away the keys.

Ferris is also a jerk to Cameron when he calls the school as Sloane's father, but then Ferris totally blows the whole thing.

Ferris convinces Cameron to call the school as Sloane's father, not a small task for a person who may or may not have full-blown influenza. When Cameron makes a mistake by telling Rooney to have Sloane come out to the front of the school alone, Ferris blows up at him for messing everything up. But then, when Ferris comes to pick up Sloane, dressed in a giant overcoat, hat, and sunglasses as Sloane's (apparently very incognito) dad, he makes out with her right in front of Rooney, blowing the whole thing! He didn't have to be so mean to Cameron, who was just trying his best.

Ferris wears the hat that came with Cameron's dad's Ferrari throughout the day.

You can see the berret Ferris is wearing has a tiny Ferrari logo, it was obviously a free hat that came with the car. Not only did Ferris steal Cameron's dad's car: he stole his hat, too.

The scene in the museum is really good.

I don't really have anything else to say about it, it's just very nice. Enjoy this calming gif.

About halfway through the movie, it becomes clear this movie isn't about Ferris at all: it's about Cameron.

This is Cameron's coming of age movie. Ferris doesn't change at all in this movie: he starts out an over-confident golden boy and learns absolutely nothing. Cameron is the one who changes. He realizes he's being treated badly by his parents and he finally stands up for himself. Have you ever heard this crazy fan theory about Ferris? Find out what it is on the next page!

There are even some fan theories that Ferris is a figment of Cameron's imagination.

Just an imaginary friend with really good hair.

Even though Ferris doesn't change, I think we as an audience do learn from Ferris.

The parade scene always makes me cry. And this time was no different. Ferris is confident in a way that seems completely foreign to most of us, but in a way we all want to be. He's overcome his imposter syndrome and then some. He has no hesitations about performing in front of all of Chicago in a parade. After all, he practiced in the shower, didn't he?

But also, why was there a parade on a random weekday in the middle of Chicago?

It seems to be some kind of German festival, but wouldn't it make more sense to hold it on the weekend? I guess it doesn't matter, lots of people showed up. It just seems like it would really make a mess of rush hour traffic, especially with a White Sox game just letting out.

Why did Ferris and Sloane set Cameron up on a diving board when he was catatonic?

When Cameron finds out the parking garage guys took his dad's car for a joy ride and added 200 miles to the odometer, he goes into shock. In an effort to try and get him to wake up, Ferris and Sloane take him to a neighbor's pool (I assume they broke into?) and we see Cameron sitting in a plastic chair positioned at the very end of a diving board. A few seconds later, he throws himself forward into the water and Ferris has to jump in and save him. Why did they ever put him there in the first place?! Maybe move the catatonic teenager away from the water, not put him directly over it in a precarious position?

Mr. Rooney is super creepy.

He breaks into the Buellers' house! That scene has always really scared me. What is he planning on doing if he does find Ferris in there? There's probably something you never noticed about the singing telegram that arrives at Ferris' house, read on to find out what it is.

The singing telegram woman that shows up...yeah, someone bought Ferris a sex worker.

Ever notice the lyrics of the song she sings? Because I just id for the first time. "I heard that you were feeling ill, headache, fever, and a chill. I came to help restore your pluck, cause I'm the nurse that likes to..." What do you think that last word is?

I also just noticed that the reason Jeanie is at the police station isn't because she's reporting a crime.

I always assumed Jeanie was at the police station, where she meets and makes out with a very young Charlie Sheen because she's reporting the incident with Mr. Rooney. But actually, she's been arrested! They think she made a phony phone call to the police about a prowler when in fact a strange man did break into her house and assault her. Geez.

I only hate one line in this movie.

I hate the line at the end when Sloane says, "He's going to marry me." Girl, you're 17! He does wear the hell out of a sweater vest, but that's no reason to be a child bride. The whole "Ferris wants to marry Sloane" thing feels weird. They have a good relationship, aside from the fact that Ferris seems to force Sloane to participate in all of his schemes. Why do they need to bring getting married into it?

When Rooney finally catches Ferris at the end, he actually can't do anything.

Ferris gets home at 5 pm. Well after school lets out. So even if Jeanie didn't come to the door and save Ferris' butt by saying he'd really been sick, Mr. Rooney really couldn't have done anything to him. He wasn't a truant at that point, just a kid at his own house.

What's your favorite Ferris moment?

When was the last time you watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off? It's about time for a re-watch! Share this article with another Ferris-lover, grab some popcorn, and see if you noticed the same things as me.