Infatuation is a powerful thing. You could meet someone, fall in love, and want nothing more than to declare in front of everyone you’ve ever known that this person is the one with whom you’re going to spend the rest of your life. It’s beautiful, and the kind of commitment you can’t take lightly.
So how then can you go from that level of love and commitment to saying, “I want you out of my life so bad I have to get you out of my life”?
Well, these people from the internet are here to tell you.
Here are the stories from an Ask Reddit thread entitled “Redditors who were dating someone that went from ‘I think I want to marry this person’ to ‘I think I need a restraining order’, what happened?” They’re all real stories of real people explaining how the biggest of relationship shifts could happen.
She punched me in the face while I was sleeping.
Apparently my phone had woken her when I received a text in the middle of the night from a girl asking if there was any chance I could come pick her up. She assumed I was cheating and figured that the most efficient way of addressing her concerns was to just punch me in the face — hard — while I lay there sleeping.
The text was from a cousin who had some sort of semi-emergency and needed to get picked up from a party.
When I moved out of state for good it’s like a switch flipped and he got extremely possessive and controlling.
Wanted all my friends numbers, gave me a schedule of when we “need to be in communication” and if I missed any he was blowing my phone up with threats of suicide.
Finally got the restraining order when he showed up to my friends apartment looking for me, threatening to call the police because I still had a pair of his shoes (that I didn’t even have).
He went mad one day because he said we weren’t “spending enough time together.” He pulled out a notepad and drew up a schedule, outlining in excruciating detail each hour that I would spend with him throughout the week from then on. I distinctly remember sitting there, saying nothing and feeling like I was in the Twilight Zone.
Things got significantly crazier from then on, but this moment always sticks out in my mind.
Most people who love you don’t want you to drop out of college.
We were in a long distance relationship for over 3 years and eventually it started to fizzle, she’d tell me to move to the states and drop my college degree, my family and my animals to live as an illegal immigrant and I could just do whatever odd jobs I could find just to be with her, I told her I needed to wait, she’d get very upset every time I went out with friends and would bombard my Facebook wall with random crap and send me private messages with passive aggressive insults.
I broke it off with her and moved on, but she kept messaging me asking to be friends, I tried but she’d randomly blow up at me insulting me for ruining her life by making her think she could be loved, I told her she did deserve love and she’d get even more upset, we couldn’t talk at all.
Last year she messaged me yet again (we broke up in 2013) telling me that I had a legal obligation to marry her since I said I would five years ago and therefore she expected me to just fly up there and fulfill my obligation to her. Had to block her.
Stealing a phone is maybe not the most severe of crimes.
As he got more comfortable around me he let his crazy out. Someone stole his cell phone and he asked me to purchase a shotgun for him so he could go shoot the person who did it. It took me another year and a half to leave.
The last straw was my first week at a new job. I worked nights and had my phone. I got this long-winded email regarding an innocent comment on a Facebook selfie of me. There were screenshots of it and a huge manifesto about why my buddies online all wanted to take me away from him.
After I broke up with him, I got emails for months swinging between apologies and telling me I was the abuser. I got emails telling me he was being drugged. It was insane.
“Now, you’re sure you were accepted?”
I graduated. She wanted to transfer schools. So, we moved to a college town where she told me she’d been accepted as a transfer.
Turns out she hadn’t been accepted, and when she applied, was not accepted. She got a job at Walmart while trying to figure out her next move.
After about 2 months she decides we should move to Pittsburgh. She’s convinced this will solve all her problems and make her happy … except we’re in a recession and I just got my first good job. I don’t want to move.
She became abusive. I didn’t want to go home. She was constantly negative and on the edge of a screaming fight. I was just avoiding her at the end.
We were together 4 years before that, and she was always moody but not abusive. Six months of that, and she went to her home town to take a semester at a local school and stay with her parents.
I called her two weeks later and told her not to come back.
A guy that I had been dating rammed my truck with a moving van, repeatedly, at an immigration checkpoint in New Mexico, well after dark. He thought it was funny.
He’d been behaving badly, but I just thought it was the stress of the move. The aggravated assault by U Haul is when I decided to break up with him.
He stalked me for years after that, harassing me at work, which led to me getting fired. I switched from law firms to legal software, and that seemed to make it harder to find me.
His stalking ended in blowing up a brick and mortar mailbox with plastic explosives. I think he laid low after that, because the FBI was looking for him.
– [account deleted]
She was essentially everything I thought I wanted in a girl. She was cute, funny, liked just enough things I liked for us to have common interests but just different enough to show each other new things and experiences I was heavy into her and she was heavy into.
Then things got… weird. She started getting jealous of high school friends I’d known way before her and even went as far as telling me I wasn’t allowed to hang out with some of my female friends except for the few she thought were uglier than her.
Things got worse. She started getting jealous of inanimate objects like my game consoles, and video games, some of which she gave me. It came to a head when my grandmother asked me to watch her dog. She was a tiny hand dog that I adored and one day I was half asleep and saw her literally kick this tiny dog off my bed, like with her feet. I asked her what the hell her problem was and she told me that she doesn’t like that I give the dog more attention than her.
We were actually engaged to be married.
Then she went on holiday without me and came back pregnant.
She then told me “you have never done anything to prove you really love me…accept this baby and help me raise it to prove it”
I declined and asked her to leave the home that I paid for (and that was in my name)
She refused. So I made arrangements, canceled my lease, then left and told her there were 4 days left on the lease (I think)
She wailed “But what am I supposed to do? I don’t have a job!”
She was unreasonably hot. I feel I’m good looking but she was just stupid beautiful. She found out my ex’s name somehow, without my knowledge, found her Facebook and started sending her threatening messages. I have no idea why.
She then deleted every female number from my phone. All my relatives except my mother and aunts that were listed as such.
Her hotness made me continue with her for another 3 weeks after this. She said that she has issues but being pretty means that most guys put up with it. And I need to just deal with it. Ending it with her felt more like trying to explain complex mathematics to a donkey. She wouldn’t accept it for ages.
He pushed a little girl in a store because she tried to pet his emotional support dog. Instead of just picking up the dog, he put hands on her.
There’s a lot more but that sticks out the most.
One day I came home from work and was told that my underage half-sister claimed that he tried to kiss her. He was drunk and passed out. I could wake him up to get his side of the story. So I packed up his stuff in his car and made him leave when he woke up.
I started going grey in my early 30s and she started insisting I dye my hair because she didn’t want people to think she was a girl with daddy issues dating an old man.
Restraining order time came when she started spiking my conditioner with strawberry blonde dye.
Classic “I got home from overseas and found drugs, not my clothes, crap load of money missing” and left her.
Two years later she’s married but still constantly texting and emailing me, new number and emails when I block the old, etc. Finally got enough proof that she was keying my truck to get a protective order against her and it’s finally quiet.
She cheated on me the day my dad died.
Started dating a guy in college who seemed totally normal. He was relatively shy and reserved about his family. He moved in with me and everything seemed great until suddenly it wasn’t. He stopped showering, stopped going to class or doing homework, and stopped sleeping. He would spend nights on end watching conspiracy theory videos about how the government was covering up the existence of dinosaurs and aliens.
He’d go home and his mom would force him onto weird diets. One week he’d be banned from eating yeast. Another week he’d be allowed to only eat spoonfuls of nutritional yeast. His mother convinced him she cured cancer by not eating bread.
Ultimately, I stopped putting up with his nonsense. I told him he couldn’t be a greasy smelly loser in my house anymore. He spent about two months back with his insane abusive family before desperately trying to get back together with me by incessantly calling and texting. Dodged a major bullet there and the trash took itself out honestly.
My high school girlfriend of seven years started doing heroin and pills and stole my grandfather’s watch I had since I was a kid and the engagement ring I intended to propose with from me, among other things. I didn’t need a restraining order out of her being violent or crazy toward me, she just broke my heart and I never wanted to see her again.
He started wearing a fake wedding band, thinking he was a marine/police officer even though he couldn’t get accepted into either training program, and he started stalking me. I’d be out running errands and he’d appear out of nowhere.
When I broke it off, he lost his crap and harassed me for a few weeks. Calls and texts nonstop (this was before blocking). Eventually, he convinced himself I broke up with him because I was scared to be a cop’s wife. Again, he’s not a cop.
Two YEARS later, he called me from a new number to ask me to be a reference for his police academy application.
People don’t really need sleep, do they?
We were going to sleep in her bed and she didn’t want me to go to sleep so she kept shaking me awake. Every time I fell asleep she would shake me awake. It turned into this weird nightmare where she just wouldn’t let me fall asleep and I was stuck between sleep and awake. The crazy part was she was enjoying it. It wasn’t like she was trying to have sex or anything. She was just enjoying tormenting me. I thought it was really strange and it really freaked me out so I just left.
A female family member dated a guy who at first seemed normal. Later on, he would throw a tantrum whenever a guy would check out my relative. He somehow blamed her and would publicly drop to the ground and start crying like a baby even though he is an adult in his mid-20s.
I think this is happening to me right now!
My soon to be ex just moved six hours away for school, and she has formulated a “criteria” for me to follow, one video chat a day, must always reply texts, etc. She also says “I love you” WAY too much, although we have been together 1.5 years she still finds a way to weasel it in every second conversation. It’s exhausting for me and feels like a chore rather than a fun relationship.
We were lying in bed and she said “The angels see us. They’re very happy.”
Maybe a bit of an overreaction…
I was driving us to dinner one night when some guy in a truck cut me off. This guy in the truck had been driving like an asshole for several miles and had almost caused several accidents. I backed off to get away from him.
We end up meeting him at a stoplight and my fiancé at the time pulled out a damn handgun and pointed it at him. I was stunned and disgusted. Went to dinner and didn’t say a word.
On the way home I asked him when he bought a handgun, why he felt the need to point it at someone driving, etc. he got very defensive. I gave him the cold shoulder for a few days trying to process it all. I wanted to break up with him but we had already paid for things for a wedding and that was holding me back. Woke up one day to a text saying I was a bitch and that I was disgusting and a loser for not talking to him. I was so relieved.
I was worried he was unstable so I mailed all his stuff to his mom’s house and talked to my local PD about a restraining order. He luckily never contacted me again.
Gurl, you gotta quit dating those killers from horror movies!
He said he would love to have my head decapitated in a jar on his desk so he could look at me everyday for the rest of his life.
Long story short, after the breakup he got arrested for helping to hide a corpse. He sent a letter to one “friend” saying it was kinda my fault because if I didn’t break up with him, he wouldn’t have gotten involved with the wrong people.
I should’ve jumped ship when he told me I was only allowed to wear skirts when he was around. I was only allowed certain friends, only allowed to go out during certain times. The straw that broke the camels back was when he thought I was flirting with one of his friends (I was not) and he picked me by my neck and shoved me against a wall. We were in university, and although people saw no one came to my defense.
Months later I found out he had another fiancé in a different country. He ended up marrying her. I lucked out.
I ate the last of the homemade guacamole late at night.
That was 8 years ago, she still brings it up. We’re still married, but it was rough for a while.
I received an inheritance and even though I told him from the start I was never going to get married to anyone, he kept pushing for marriage and wanting to get life insurance.
She had her friend’s kids in her car and was giving me a ride home. We started arguing and when we got to my house she gunned it in reverse as soon as I stepped out. The door knocked me down and she ran my leg over.