If You’re a New Parent, Don’t Read What These People Said About Newborns

Share on Facebook

When it comes to babies, there’s a lot to love.

Their clothes, for instance. Teeny tiny socks! Cute little animals! Baby jeans! Anyone who looks at a pair of baby jeans and doesn’t immediately melt into a puddle obviously does not know the meaning of the word “adorable.”

And their smiles! True happiness is having a baby look at you and smile (even if that smile is just a reflex or a sign that they have gas, or whatever).

But while many people love everything about babies, others have some pretty unpopular opinions about them. Those are the opinions we’re highlighting today. When asked to share their unpopular opinions about newborns, the people of Twitter did not disappoint. They had unpopular baby-related opinions in spades, and they did not hold back. Like, not even a little bit.

 

advertisement

It all started when Twitter user @OfficialEnam asked people to share their unpopular opinions about newborn babies.

I doubt they had any idea how quickly the thread would take off, but it really did. Here are some of the best replies:

advertisement

Stay back!

Honestly, I think this should actually be a popular opinion. People have germs! Germs can make babies sick! You’ve gotta keep that baby safe!

advertisement

“He looks just like you!”

Any time someone says a newborn looks exactly like their parent, I just assume that person has never actually seen the parent.

advertisement

They’re boring!

Other than crying, pooping, and sleeping, babies don’t really do much. If you’re expecting to have a cool new roommate, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.

advertisement

It’s just common courtesy.

In fact, it’d probably be a good idea not to post any pictures of the baby without their parents’ permission. Or maybe that’s just my own unpopular opinion.

advertisement

How old are you, anyway?

Maybe we should open up the discussion about when life really begins. There’s no way that could be controversial.

advertisement

Now that you mention it…

I’m not saying you’re wrong I’m just saying this is probably something to add to the “do not share with parents of newborns” list.

advertisement

Do it.

If I ever have kids, I’m going to carry around a jug of hand sanitizer and insist everyone use it before touching them.

advertisement

Newborns > toddlers.

Toddlers can be pretty darn annoying. And just wait until they’re teenagers.

advertisement

Scary!

Luckily, babies are like 98 percent rubber, so you’re probably fine carrying them. But I totally get what you mean! That’s a whole life in that little body!

advertisement

Preach.

The parents get to decide who will be in the delivery room (and who gets to visit the baby after they’re born). If you don’t like it, go have your own baby and make your own rules.

advertisement

Please do not throw the baby.

If someone says they don’t want to hold the baby, do not make them hold the baby. It’s pretty simple, really.

advertisement

Shout it from the rooftops.

Some of them look a little…um…underdone for the first few weeks. But they get better! Usually.

advertisement

“Follow my baby on Instagram!”

I kind of feel this way about pet accounts, too… But I follow a bunch of them. I’m so conflicted.

advertisement

Wardrobe!

I swear most babies have a more extensive wardrobe than I do. Not that I’m jealous. OK. I’m a little jealous.

advertisement

What’s the sitch?

Oh no. But it’s so true. But oh no.

advertisement

A note to the grandparents:

Becoming a parent is a learning experience every time. It’s not that your advice is wrong, but offering it up every time something pops into your head is pretty darn annoying.

advertisement

Actually…

Now, I’ve never raised a newborn, so I can’t speak to this myself. Parents, chime in down in the comment section!

advertisement

The bond will come!

This seems like something that would be good for all new parents to read. Not thinking your baby is the most adorable, precious, best thing on the planet is totally normal. As we’ve already discussed, they pretty much just eat and poop and cry. Most people would find that a tad grating.

advertisement

Hot take alert!

This seems like a really good way to end up in a post-apocalyptic movie scenario. I’m sure every parent would benefit from extra education and training, but making laws about who is allowed to have children seems like a very bad idea.

advertisement

Fur baby!

I don’t have kids. I have a dog. If I share a story about my dog, it’s just because that’s the only way I can kind of relate to what you’re doing. I’m not saying it’s the same!

advertisement

Surprise!

Yep! This is, hands down, the most upsetting thing about babies.

advertisement

Yay, sports!

OK, true. But…I bought my dog a dinosaur blanket and a dinosaur collar because he loves dinosaurs (according to me), so I can’t really weight in here. (Also, it’s totally fine for me to bring up my dog. We just covered this.)

advertisement

YES!

Don’t put your babies in stockings. Don’t put your babies in pumpkins. Don’t put them in flowers or teacups or baseball mitts. Unless you want to. But, I mean, I think it’s weird. Personally.

advertisement

Here’s another spicy one:

I’m sure “most” is taking things a bit too far. But we all feel the pressure of presenting the “perfect” life on social media. Let’s give parents a break, shall we?

advertisement

It’s uncanny

I know people just say this to be nice, but there are other nice things to say! Like, “Here is some money” or “Here is some more money.”

advertisement

Pink or blue!

Do I think gender reveal parties are a little silly? Yes. But I also think that bringing a baby into the world is a super exciting and super stressful thing, and if parents want to have a dang party, they should have a dang party.

advertisement

Gross.

So. Many. Bodily fluids. So many. Too many.

advertisement

You said it.

I kind of agree. But I still like babies.

advertisement

Rude.

This is so true! Babies are fickle little creatures. Share this with someone who’s expecting a baby soon!

advertisement