"Monster Mash" is a classic Halloween tune, falling on the spectrum somewhere between "Thriller" and "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah."
The 1962 song by Bobby "Boris" Pickett has been a staple of the spooky season since its release.
But now it's ruined forever thanks to Twitter user @Lawrence_Miles. He blew the lid off everything we thought we knew about this silly song. His revelation will leave you totally spooked.
First, here's an insane video of Bobby Pickett performing "Monster Mash" during a 1964 episode of American Bandstand.
(Shoutout to a young and handsome Dick Clark.) But back to Pickett: His faces are bonkers. It's quite a performance. It'd be one thing if he was dressed in a monster costume and had other monsters dancing around him, but instead, it's just a clean-cut guy in a suit, singing a spooky song and contorting his face into freaky expressions.But back to the issue at hand. Lawrence Miles is about to blow your socks off:
Guys. I'm here to red-pill you all. You've never heard the actual Monster Mash. You've just heard a record *about* the Monster Mash. Yeah.— Lawrence Miles ⚫ (@Lawrence Miles ⚫)1507432982.0
The lyrics tell us the real story.
Bobby Pickett is a non-monster recalling an occasion when he heard monsters mashing. At best, his recording is only a rough approximation.— Lawrence Miles ⚫ (@Lawrence Miles ⚫)1507433009.0
Yes, really. Let's break it down.
The song starts: I was working in the lab late one night when my eyes beheld an eerie sight. For my monster from his slab began to rise and suddenly to my surprise He did the mash. He did the Monster Mash. In layman's terms, Dr. Frankenstein watched his monster come to life and do a dance (the Monster Mash). We don't know what the Monster Mash actually involves, only that it is a graveyard smash.The tweets went viral, and Twitter lost its mind.
@Lawrence_Miles https://t.co/qiRwVCkjEP— Katelyn Burns (@Katelyn Burns)1507445306.0
The first thing that came to mind for many is that "Monster Mash" is not the Monster Mash.
It's just a tribute. "Monster Mash" is exactly like that classic Tenacious D song.This Twitter user "Well, actually"-ed the internet with a nerdy Frankenstein reference.
@Lawrence_Miles @dunkingdad Mash is actually the name of the doctor not the monster— €Ⓜ️© (@€Ⓜ️©)1507450328.0