10 Incredibly Disturbing Facts to Bring Up When You Want to Seem Smart But Also Ruin the Party

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Ah, facts – every awkward person’s last resort at a party.

Facts are great, when used in the appropriate context. There are a few, however, that should probably not be used at a party. Here are the ten worst offenders.

Actually, we’re not even sure how you can casually weave this into a party conversation – “Yeah, these canapés are good and all, but how about this little factoid about Genghis Khan.”  

Also, not really sure what a canapé actually is. Also, he killed that many people? Damn…

Okay, a nine to ten foot long worm? With teeth that can cut through coral? Also has a habit of cutting through other animals?

And it grows back when you cut it into two? And it can be in your freaking aquarium? Please, never mention this to a person at a party. Never, never never. This is nightmare fuel…

Here’s a buzzkill you should never bring up at a party. One, it starts people questioning their own mortality. Two, the imagery.  

Pin-sized cancers all over your body? And they develop silently for years? Now we’re feeling all itchy and wanting to go to our doctors for a checkup.

This is just sad and horrific, because now we’re thinking about those poor people and what they went through.

Imagine surviving an explosion, and then writhing about in agony only to be tossed in the middle of the ocean and… okay, no, it’s way too brutal…

See, this one is a bit of a head scratcher. How exactly did the pig murder a child? And who thought it was a good idea to give it clothes and make it stand trial?

Did they think it would understand what was going on? And why bother giving due process to a pig. Sigh, there’s so many things we wonder here…

You mean here in America, right? Walk to any posh hospital, and you’ll see loads of well-off women eating their own placenta.

Although… strictly speaking, this is called autosarcophagy or autocannibalism, which is the act of eating one’s own flesh. Khloe Kardashian says she’s going to eat her own placenta, so…

This fact probably won’t end a party, but it’ll force everyone to sober up fast. After all, you’re going to have to go home knowing there are hundreds of undiscovered killers just outside your door.

Home security system, anyone? We’re definitely beefing up ours…

We can’t even with this one. How? When? How did we not know this? We had to dig deeper to get some context.

Turns out most marsupials have three vaginas – that includes wombats, koalas, and Tasmanian devils. Whoa!

Have you ever had bedbugs? They’re an absolute menace – a horrifying, terrifying menace that can set up shop in your house and take you hostage.

Bedbugs are the stuff of nightmares, and the idea that you can get them from movie theaters is, quite frankly, nightmare fuel.

Oh, we’re going to itch for days after reading this. The imagery… oh, the imagery…

To think that there can be an alien contagion inside you, spreading… We can’t. Excuse us while we go wash thoroughly…