Not only is Walmart a weird, contained microcosm of whichever town it’s in, it’s also always reliably filled with some strange people.
These 40 conversations, which were overheard at Walmart, will make you go, “WHAT?! OK, yeah, that makes sense. It’s Walmart.”
The party with the horse
This is incredible. Just the sort of nonsense you expect at Walmart, and yet, still refreshingly surprising.
That kind of catch
Seriously, who is this woman and is she selling little bits of her self-confidence, because I’ll buy it.
She should leave Walmart and go do motivational speaking somewhere.
Ahh! This will haunt me forever.
Please, if you’re in a store and the deodorant doesn’t have that plastic thingy stuck to the stick, don’t buy it!
This is quite a rare breed. If he doesn’t eat meat, though, what does he hunt for?
Because the only acceptable reason to hunt is if you’re going to eat what you kill.
By the balls
I think this person meant “near” the balls, but the way they said it makes it mean something else entirely.
Again, I think she was asking if there were any other turkeys that were bigger than these, but the way she asked got her this priceless answer.
If you’re a parent, you’ve probably gotten to this point once or twice with your child.
Especially if you’ve taken them shopping.
I really hope the guy’s name was Bob. And that Bob was really confused and was like, “What’s a sponge?”
And then the kid kicked him in the knee.
Look, she’s a busy person with a lot of errands to run.
She can’t afford to take time out of her schedule to wash bird poop out of her hair right now.
Oh my goodness.
Don’t you just want to tell people everywhere (but especially in Walmart) that they should drink more water?
As much as they want? It’s good for you!
There’s a Walmart choir? I hope they sing all about the deals and the savings and the seasonal supplies.
Sour Patch Kids
Look, sometimes you need your sour gummy candy, and you can’t let anyone stand in your way.
I understand this feeling.
Smell my hand
You know that if you ever get this request that it is not going to smell good and it is not going to end well for you.
No one was ever like, “Smell my hand. It smells like fresh baked cookies!”
Man, this is cute! But also men, makeup isn’t for you! It’s not necessarily to “improve” a woman’s looks!
A woman wears makeup because she wants to and because it makes her feel good.
Period end of story!
Some random guy
A lot of crazy things happen in Walmart parking lots, but catching the guy who stole your car driving off in it is just about one of the craziest things that can happen in a Walmart parking lot.
You can’t really argue with that kid on the existence of chill pills, but oooh if that just didn’t make her mom even more mad.
Not your grandma
This is so funny.
Could you imagine as a kid getting up close to a woman you think is your grandma only to discover it is definitely not?
That would haunt your nightmares forever.
Raise your hand if you relate to this hard.
Especially toward the end of the month, when you’re scraping by on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?
I’m right there with you.
Stuck in the bathroom
This isn’t exactly an “overheard at Walmart,” but I don’t care because it’s so funny and I wanted you to see it.
So, you’re welcome.
Trying not to cuss
If you’ve ever tried to bring a small child shopping, you probably relate to this sentiment pretty directly.
Not real eggs
Hatchimals may not be real eggs, but you still shouldn’t break them!
They still have to hatch on their own! Come on, dude!
Was… Was she calling for spaghetti? Like, “Where are you, spaghetti? Did you run from me back into the depths of the pasta aisle?
I just want to twirl you on my fork!”
How could a dog owner ever think that veterinarians aren’t necessary?
These animals are part of your family, and you don’t deserve them if you think that way!
Where you been
“OMG which jail?! OMG me too! That’s so funny! What a small world! Their food was not good, OMG, it was terrible.”
This is either a pretty clever joke or the ramblings of a drunk person who can’t get their words straight.
Either way, it’s kind of funny.
Too many kids
This is like The Hunger Games only you’d be left to fend for yourself in the wilds of the aisles of Walmart, and honestly, that doesn’t sound so bad.
To be fair to the guy, Walmart is pretty much the worst place to attempt flirting.
“You’re buying toilet paper? Me too! For my big poops!”
This is adorable, but either they were lying about still being in the honeymoon phase, or they’re both going deaf.
And that’s the only reason they still like being around each other.
Moms at Walmart
This pretty much sums up the lives of all moms who take their kids to Walmart.
Kids are kind of the worst.
I don’t care
Girl 2 is going to go far in life.
Not caring what other people think of you is kind of the best thing you can do for yourself.
Don’t eat glue
Am I wrong or is seven years old way past the age that a child should be attempting to eat glue?
This is a true tragedy of epic pie proportions.
But also, who picked up a bunch of pizzas and then left them in the car while they went into Walmart?
Not sure about the ‘B’
Listen, I’ve never seen this shirt.
But I’m going to go ahead and venture a guess that if the “F” stands for “front” than the “B” on the back probably stands for… “back.”
I truly hope that this wasn’t a mother saying this to her small child but an adult woman saying this to her older mother.
At a funeral
I mean, yeah, a funeral is probably not the place to get in a fistfight with someone.
That’s some real, respectable restraint right there.
I know my rights
I can’t wait to be a parent because parents just get to make up rules all the time and make their children follow them even if they’re bonkers.
He never came back
Hm, iced tea. That’s a new one.
Usually, it’s cigarettes.
That’s absolutely hilarious. Nick seems to really enjoy his “Steve” cake as well.
This isn’t so much an “overheard” at Walmart as an “underheard” at Walmart.
I just…I want to know where this was and what year this was.
Because if it wasn’t at a Walmart in the Louisiana Purchase in 1807, this isn’t right.
I really want to know how this conversation ended.
I can’t imagine the Trumpers went, “You know what? You’re right! What were we thinking?!”
Share this with someone who understands the trials and tribulations of Walmart!