Transgender Parents Say Nurse Wouldn’t Tell Them Where Their Baby Daughter Was

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Transgender parents have recently revealed that a nurse wouldn’t tell them where their baby daughter was and it has raised some concerns about the law surrounding surrogacy.

Jake Graf, who is a forty-two-year-old actor, and his partner Hannah, a thirty-three-year-old finance worker, were left “in tears” after a nurse refused to take them to see their child because, in the United Kingdom, a surrogate is legally the parent of the child unless they sign a parental form which transfers the rights over.

Speaking to Giovanna Fletcher on the Happy Mum, Happy Baby podcast, Jake, said a nurse told them she could not give them any information on their daughter’s whereabouts, which left the couple in the hospital car park crying.

He said this: “I called the ward that we had the number for and this very busy and rushed off her feet nurse said I can’t tell you where the baby is because you are not the legal parents.”

He continued: “So, you can imagine you’re in the car park and we are both nearly in tears. The baby had been born an hour prior to that and this woman is literally saying you are not her legal parents I can’t give you any information as to where she is. And she said ‘I’m sitting here with the mother now’ and I actually said ‘I’m with the mother in the car.’

“This woman was obviously very unimpressed.”

Jake explained that the couple had arrived at the hospital in Belfast, ready to meet their daughter, Millie, but they couldn’t get past the staff.

“There was yellow tape everywhere, it was absolutely deserted, the car park was mostly cordoned off, there was no one in any of the receptions. We went in looking for anyone who could help.”

Thankfully, they were finally able to see their daughter after their surrogate’s birthing partner helped them in.

“Our baby was tiny and covered in blood and we just both held this tiny little thing and just it was a dream come true. The NHS [National Health Service] were amazing considering what was going on and considering that most of the hospital was closed and there was a case of Covid in the maternity ward.

“We were allowed our own little room for the three of us we stayed probably until about 6 in the evening and they talked us through how to bathe her and change her and feed her.”

Little Millie was born last year in April during the peak of the pandemic, but she is doing well with her parents. Congratulations to the new parents!