Across the world, people have been living in various states of quarantine and it’s made it pretty clear that humans are built to be a social species. We’ve all started to go a little bit crazy, but on the plus side, Jimmy Fallon has been giving us one source of joy: home video versions of The Tonight Show.
But even Jimmy Fallon doesn’t want to be alone during quarantine, so he threw out a challenge to the entire Internet: describe what quarantine is like for you in six words. Never one to shy away from a challenge, Fallon kicked it off with the simple and beautiful “Fine. You can paint daddy’s nails.”
If you’re still trying to figure out how to sum up, “Oh god I’m so bored everything is awful why won’t my cat get off my head” in six words, you can fill the time with these quality submissions to the hashtag.
This is why we’re starting this list with a post that reminds us it could always be worse: we could be channeling The Shining, and then COVID wouldn’t even have a chance to get us.
But now that we’re all stuck at home it’s personal. This actual toilet is in charge of my life and I want off.
It seems a little bit sad to play the Friends theme song when you’re being forcibly kept away from your friends, but this dude does have some serious skills.
By “friends” we mean pets, because the world collectively lost its mind and decided we needed to squeeze another living being into our homes for an extended period of time.
I haven’t left the house in one week, and it’s growing steadily clearer that my cats have a plan if I don’t get out of their space soon.
But this guy has had to build his own. Out of dryer lint. This has definitely reached horror movie levels of bad.
If you give it a name it becomes a pet, whether it’s a flower or a rock or a creature made out of dryer lint. You just have to use your imagination.
Never putting clothes on? Heck yes. Cozy, comfy pajamas? Heck yes. Give me those fuzzy slippers.
Even if no one will see you you should shower. And wash your hair. Just stay clean out there friends.
I call this the braless work from home. It’s the “little black dress” of quarantine.
I really do need toilet paper. Or maybe a bidet. Honestly I’d take anything at this point.
So much time to work on projects! Gonna be so productive!
So much time to work on projects…with nothing else to do. Excuse me while I cry.
I’m working on a very important project right now for the office. Yes, The Office, the television show. I’m rewatching it.
Some people bought out the toilet paper aisle. Other people went to the important spot: wine.
This mom let her kid give her a makeover and the wholesomeness has given us enough energy to last another week in quarantine.
COVID turns you into a zombie right? That’s what this virus does?
Things could be worse: instead of being stuck inside you could be dead! Isn’t that fun?
And it’s with song! Everything sounds better with a disco beat behind it, even being in quarantine.
Am I dying? Is this the end? Did I get the virus by opening my windows? Where did I go wrong?
Some people responded to the hashtag with images of what they’re up to…and this grocery worker seems like they have their hands full. Godspeed to all our workers keeping us fed and toilet papered.
You may even find yourself overreacting to small things, like your spouse leaving a dirty plate out or your child eating snacks that weren’t theirs KEVIN.
Then this is your natural state of being, and you’re just sitting over here eating your pizza and wondering why everyone is freaking out.
You might find yourself taking it out on any “Corona” you can get your hands on, even if it means sacrificing a beer.
I thought that this time apart would finally help people to understand how many things should be e-mails. It has not.
It’s like we’ve been put in a cage. Like a rat. A rat in a cage.
Wait that’s just called jail. This is like we’ve all been put in jail.
Unlike real jail where I can work out in an intimidating fashion in the yard, at home the most I can do is run up and down the stairs all day.
Playing Poker with my cat counts as “cool” right? I’m really running out of other options here.
I have all these friends here with me. See? They have faces. That makes them a friend. We established that with dryer lint 20 slides ago.
In fact I’m developing a new kind of spirit. A quaran-teen spirit.
