Raise your hand if you love to read. Okay, now you can get back to your book...
If you always carry a book with you, if you are on Goodreads more than you are on Facebook, if you have a worn and weathered library card, this list of jokes is for you. I love reading books, but I also love people who love to read. They are the best kind of people.
If I find out that I can talk about books with you, you will instantly be my friend. If "Yeah, but the book was way better" is a regular sentence in your arsenal, if you cannot wait for the workday to be over so you can rush home, plop yourself on the couch, and read the latest Tana French or Elena Ferrante, you are my people, and these jokes are for you. You will have to take a little break from your book to read these though, and for that, I apologize.
Grab yourself a cup of tea and snuggle up!We are getting down and dirty with some hilarious tweets about reading, libraries, books, authors, and all the things that avid readers love.
I like big books
My sister sent me this from her local #library and now I can't stop singing this song. #WeLoveBigBooks https://t.co/5IrmJqfurm— Manhattan Public Library (@Manhattan Public Library)1536608640.0
adulthood means saying “I can’t wait to use this bad boy!!” when you travel across country and get a new library card.— Boze Herrington, library goblin (@Boze Herrington, library goblin)1532449428.0
Harry Potter audiobook
Me: Do you have the Harry Potter audiobook? DJ: no— Jon (@Jon)1537192197.0
if teen-aged Mary Shelley can win a storytelling contest with Lord Byron by inventing science-fiction, I can surely make it to Friday.— Owl! at the Library 😴🧙♀️ (@Owl! at the Library 😴🧙♀️)1537197604.0
when your local library starts subtly sowing the seeds of anarchy https://t.co/bW1kWSS5zc— Ian Laking (@Ian Laking)1536584536.0
Not to brag, but I sigh as deeply and frequently as the average heroine in a Jane Austen novel.— Josh Gondelman (@Josh Gondelman)1443208631.0
Edgar Allan Poe
we love Edgar Allan Poe because he portrays universal human emotions like loss, grief, unrequited love, burying you… https://t.co/YgPRdY3nbC— Owl! at the Library 😴🧙♀️ (@Owl! at the Library 😴🧙♀️)1536082815.0
Totally read it
F. SCOTT FITZGERALD: did you read it? did you read my new book? GERTRUDE STEIN *sweating*: it sure is a collection… https://t.co/JAAH9NhsuW— Owl! at the Library 😴🧙♀️ (@Owl! at the Library 😴🧙♀️)1536930608.0
Not enough books
I came, I saw, I thought about conquering but instead left swiftly because there were too many people and not enough books.— C.G. Drews (@C.G. Drews)1531255933.0
To All the Boys
To All The Boys Who Basically Said What I Already Said In Class— caro (@caro)1535119474.0
Martin O'MalleyRemember that guy? He like, ran for president way back in the day. Anyway, this tweet is spot on and I would read that book.
It's a saying
Taking a page out of someone’s book doesn’t always work. The librarian got pretty pissed at me.— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSays)1535395520.0
Trump book report
Gatsby? He says he was great. I don't know. People are saying maybe not so great. I'll make Gatsby great again. #trumpbookreport— Brian Francis (@Brian Francis)1476964742.0
Never enoughListen, no matter how many of the books on your shelf you have actually read, you can never have enough books.
Read it again
reads book: *favourite character dies* me: maybe if i read this again he won't die this time— ben solo (@ben solo)1417349392.0
Them: Can I borrow a book? Me: *hesitates* Well, let me tell you my rules and write up a contract... Them: It's jus… https://t.co/xu3CzkhNWw— Jennifer Y. (@Jennifer Y.)1505819636.0
Invention of booksContrary to popular belief, the Harry Potter series wasn't actually the first set of books ever written. But they do hold a touch more drama than the label on the back of a shampoo bottle.
You know you're doing a bad job tidying up when you can't even find the book #TheLifeChangingMagicOfTidyingUp @MarieKondo #help— Emma Roberts (@Emma Roberts)1458253333.0
The Good Book
Priest: Do you read to your kids from the Good Book? Me: Every night Priest: What's their favorite part? Me: When Frodo destroys the ring— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn)1437782833.0
.@parisreview So is Paris any good or not— Patricia Lockwood (@Patricia Lockwood)1357773313.0
I'm bringing paperback them other books don't know how to act *deletes account*— JARRY LEE (@JARRY LEE)1444244548.0
Great American Novel
I've written the great American novel. Well not WRITTEN IT DOWN yet but it's all up here— AUTHOR In Your MFA (@AUTHOR In Your MFA)1493771773.0
HogwartsI've never thought about the wizarding school quite in these terms, but it's so true. Plus, the food just appears.
divergent 2: insurgent divergent 3: convergent divergent 4: emergent divergent 5: its urgent divergent 6: im a surgeon divergent 7: sturgeon— jonny sun has a new book coming out in april! (@jonny sun has a new book coming out in april!)1426782600.0
Watership DownI think it's safe to say that never in history has there been a more dramatic, devastating book written about bunny rabbits.
Display those booksYeah but, reading is half the fun! To be fair, the other half is buying the books, even if you don't end up actually reading them.
My favorite part of the book Moby Dick is where it says "Dick" right there on the cover.— Joshua Zagan (@Joshua Zagan)1465421889.0
I went into a bookshop earlier carrying a book. I seem to have put my book down to browse other books and left with… https://t.co/KSqrjnaVa5— Luke James (@Luke James)1533061514.0
ladies, you must never date anyone who hates libraries, has a portrait of himself that grows older while he stays y… https://t.co/om1gT7AC05— Owl! at the Library 😴🧙♀️ (@Owl! at the Library 😴🧙♀️)1534867204.0