Kids do the darnedest things, don't they? Getting into trouble, bringing frogs into the house, breaking the neighbor's window with a baseball? Classic. History is full of kids doing goofy things.
But, sometimes, kids go above and beyond in the "darnedest things" department and truly deliver stories that are glorious. Today we give you one such story. It's simple: a boy missed his school bus and wanted to stay home from school. But it's also a work of such utter genius that few people could match it.
This is a story that contains perfect grammar, a beautiful pro/con list, some strong argumentation, and a few beautiful turns of phrase. If you're ready to be driven into hysterics (the good kind) by a small child, read on: this kid is going to grow up to be a lawyer, we can tell already. His strongest defense: making you laugh until you can no longer punish him.
It's a story that we all know.When you're just a little late in the morning, running outside to catch the school bus.
We all have those days.But some of us handle them better than others.
This is the story of a young man who handled it the best.No seriously; everyone go home. He wins.
Our friend, Sarah (@sarahhollidayyy), on Twitter shared a beautiful memory from childhood.And it was wonderful.
It begins "I missed the bus."And what follows is a true work of art.
"As your son, I regret to inform you that I've missed my means of public transportation," the letter begins."I know you must be on a roller coaster of emotions right now, but rest assured, I've decided to stay home. This was a tough decision to make while you were gone for 20 minutes. I'm probably in my bed moping about the fact that I can't go to school, so please don't interrupt me. If you require any further assistance, please see the Pros/Cons chart on the back side."
And, of course, we have to look at that pro/con list.Pros: -First day home this quarter, grades will be fine. -Today was gonna be a bad one, can't get over my hair.
On the other hand, there were some cons.- Might become a habit (doubtful). -You have to call the school and tell them I've got polio.
For real though...This kid is a genius.
I mean...He gets MAJOR points for creativity.
We're not the only ones who think so.
@rupalisujan @sarahhollidayyy @priyankasujan Art.— Art Or Not Art (@Art Or Not Art)1559775666.0
Honestly, it was so clever that some people started making ultimatums for their own kids.
@sarahhollidayyy @staygaytabulous if my kids ain’t funny like this i’m sending them back— district manager of autozone (@district manager of autozone)1559714512.0
A surprising number of people wanted this kid for their own.
@sarahhollidayyy Lmaoo can this pls be my son— jacquelin✨🧚🏻♀️ (@jacquelin✨🧚🏻♀️)1559687677.0
But then they had to imagine what it would be like to make that call.
@electriccfairy @sarahhollidayyy “I regret to inform you that my son has come down with polio. he will not be able to attend school today.”— shane is a mess (@shane is a mess)1559707784.0
Even worse is the call that comes the next day.
@whittierproject @electriccfairy @sarahhollidayyy But he will be there tomorrow 🤣😭— Cambria😘 (@Cambria😘)1559709975.0
Modern medicine really is miraculous, isn't it?
@paid_bria @whittierproject @electriccfairy @sarahhollidayyy “After an overnight stint in an iron lung, he’ll be as… https://t.co/xp44sIOpYb— Grogu’s Future Adoptive Mama (@Grogu’s Future Adoptive Mama)1559762318.0
But then the real question came up...What age was this hilarious child?
Because that handwriting indicates elementary school.But the vocabulary says something else.
The truth is revealed.He just has awful handwriting.
Even with the awful handwriting, he has some good insights.
@sarahhollidayyy A whole ass mood https://t.co/48dtbmAeS9— Belinda (@Belinda)1559757556.0
A lot of people were impressed by the post.
@sarahhollidayyy @ChrisNHarrelson This kid is going places!!!— Lisa 💜 (@Lisa 💜)1559762150.0
He can go wherever he wants!Except school, that bus is long gone.
The best part is that mom herself got involved.
@sarahhollidayyy O Sarah!! Lol, how could I make him go to school after I read this I laughed so hard . It only worked once tho!😁— Raerock9 (@Raerock9)1559761811.0
There were some people who questioned the decision, though.
@sarahhollidayyy @rachaelbradney It is funny and all.. but, still.. Asking just coz this is not how things run in m… https://t.co/W3u5qPTTEy— K! (@K!)1559779340.0
There's a time wherein this wouldn't have worked!Kids these days...
Who needs a bus, after all?You've got legs!
Wait... hold on.
@YankeeJosh @Jeffdrum96 @sarahhollidayyy @randi_micalla That would be tough if you had polio...— Coffeecotic (@Coffeecotic)1559838910.0
Of course, Twitter's got an answer for that.And, of course, it's hilarious.
But let's be honest...
@rachaelbradney @kabi_talks @sarahhollidayyy That definitely deserved a day off if not just for the pro/con list. W… https://t.co/seYroVeaRY— BeantownMarine (@BeantownMarine)1559787709.0
Let's explore a few of the signs of brilliance in this note.
@sarahhollidayyy things that sent me: - the impeccable grammar - the pros and cons - the fact that he’s a lil boy… https://t.co/MSYHua1nKT— ✨angry bisexual✨ (@✨angry bisexual✨)1559831764.0
Really, the only conclusion here is that this is art.
@sarahhollidayyy Your brother's a stand-up comedian or a former Letterman writer, right? If genuine, this note shou… https://t.co/BAz0yNvT6P— Frank DiGiacomo (@Frank DiGiacomo)1559700144.0