Kid Writes His Mom the Funniest Note of All Time After Missing the School Bus

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Kids do the darnedest things, don’t they? Getting into trouble, bringing frogs into the house, breaking the neighbor’s window with a baseball? Classic. History is full of kids doing goofy things.

But, sometimes, kids go above and beyond in the “darnedest things” department and truly deliver stories that are glorious. Today we give you one such story. It’s simple: a boy missed his school bus and wanted to stay home from school. But it’s also a work of such utter genius that few people could match it.

This is a story that contains perfect grammar, a beautiful pro/con list, some strong argumentation, and a few beautiful turns of phrase. If you’re ready to be driven into hysterics (the good kind) by a small child, read on: this kid is going to grow up to be a lawyer, we can tell already. His strongest defense: making you laugh until you can no longer punish him.

When you’re just a little late in the morning, running outside to catch the school bus.

But some of us handle them better than others.

No seriously; everyone go home. He wins.

And it was wonderful.

And what follows is a true work of art.

“I know you must be on a roller coaster of emotions right now, but rest assured, I’ve decided to stay home. This was a tough decision to make while you were gone for 20 minutes. I’m probably in my bed moping about the fact that I can’t go to school, so please don’t interrupt me. If you require any further assistance, please see the Pros/Cons chart on the back side.”

Pros: -First day home this quarter, grades will be fine. -Today was gonna be a bad one, can’t get over my hair.

– Might become a habit (doubtful). -You have to call the school and tell them I’ve got polio.

This kid is a genius.

He gets MAJOR points for creativity.

Twitter has dubbed it “art.”

Funny or you get sent back!

Grabby hands!

“Um, yes, the kid has polio today.”

“Oh the polio? He’s fine. All better.”

Gotta get me one of them iron lungs.

What age was this hilarious child?

But the vocabulary says something else.

He just has awful handwriting.

Bad hair day? Gotta skip school.

The talent contained in the note indicates a strong future, amirite?

Except school, that bus is long gone.

She has to defend her son right?

It’s funny, but…

Kids these days…

You’ve got legs!

The kid had that covered; he’s got polio.

And, of course, it’s hilarious.

This kid probably worked harder on the note than some kids work all day in school.

Wait, we can’t because it’s all brilliant.

Someone get this note in a museum!